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What is the best way to split funds while living together, so neither party is resentful?
Person A
-Makes twice as much as person B. Higher wage.
-No kids
-Only bills are cell phone and auto insurance
-Supposed to pay for some groceries and $500 a month rent. A has not paid this month.
Person B
-Makes almost half the salary of person A
-Has two kids from a previous relationship.
-Owns the house they live in
-Has very expensive car payment on car that is used for most family travel, covers all gas and maintenance for vehicle
-Pays all the mortgage, utilities (cable, electric, insurance, internet), household expenses. (Over $2500.00 a month)
B has been feeling resentful for some time but was just letting it go, because A was buying groceries and paying for most entertainment and dining out.
B suggested a dinner out with friends tonight, and person A said they could not make it, but B was free to go. B said they would stay home and A said "why because you would have to pay for yourself?" B responded that after paying the mortgage and a tank of gas, no money was left. A got off the phone.
So in this scenario, How should this couple split expenses so that both of them feel it is fair and neither will be resentful? Because clearly they are both feeling resentful.
I'd revisit the previously agreed upon terms, $500 a month for rent and would just set up a grocery budget, as in you both put in a certain amount vs. either party just going out and buying some here and there. That way you both know how much either party is contributing exactly. Just my opinion.
Yeah, you can be sarcastic, but the simple fact is that not all problems you create can be fixed.
Posts like yours should serve as a warning to others. In that way, it is a helpful post.
To keep other men and women from getting themselves in the same boat.
I'm not trying to be mean or rude, but there's a good chance you're not going to solve this issue on the Internet.
I assume you've already broached it with your partner?
I'd revisit the previously agreed upon terms, $500 a month for rent and would just set up a grocery budget, as in you both put in a certain amount vs. either party just going out and buying some here and there. That way you both know how much either party is contributing exactly. Just my opinion.
A does not share information about specific expenses. B pays for very little groceries but pays ALL the household bills. Mortgage, electric, gas, water, insurance, property taxes, cable, internet, etc. B has almost no money left after paying these bills, plus car payment, car insurance, car maintenance and personal cell phone bill.
There is no way A is paying $2500-$3000 a month on food.
Enforce the $500 rent (and maybe consider raising it!) and set an amount for his share of the groceries - otherwise he'll just "chip in" and you won't know the actual amount.
He's probably overestimating how much he pays for "entertainment". Why not have him put a set amount in for that each month and when it's gone, then you start paying - like $250 or whatever you can agree to. Whatever is unused gets carried over to be used next month or for vacations, etc.
Also, none of this should impact any gift-giving - these are not gifts he is giving you - they are his share of the expenses.
Yeah, you can be sarcastic, but the simple fact is that not all problems you create can be fixed.
Posts like yours should serve as a warning to others. In that way, it is a helpful post.
To keep other men and women from getting themselves in the same boat.
I'm not trying to be mean or rude, but there's a good chance you're not going to solve this issue on the Internet.
I assume you've already broached it with your partner?
How are the kids enjoying this situation?
How does one avoid this boat? Blending families / Second relationships or marriages is very normal these days.
We have discussed. Neither has any ideas on being fair. B thinks it should be split 50/50. Although A makes twice the salary, B does have two kids. A thinks buying food is enough because they stopped paying the rent. Now A is getting mad that B won't pay for dining out and what not. But the truth is B has a tight budge and no money left after paying all the bills.
This is a household with roughly $130k in annual income. This should not be such a sore subject.
I have never managed a household where both people didn't put all funds into a joint account, pay the bills and share the expenses completely. So this is a new situation for me.
A does not share information about specific expenses. B pays for very little groceries but pays ALL the household bills. Mortgage, electric, gas, water, insurance, property taxes, cable, internet, etc. B has almost no money left after paying these bills, plus car payment, car insurance, car maintenance and personal cell phone bill.
There is no way A is paying $2500-$3000 a month on food.
I was not implying you had to share information about specific expenses but since you both eat, agreeing on a set food budget (as a minimum) may be worth a discussion. Also, are you saying you guys spend $2500-3000 a month on food? Is that like steak and lobster everyday? Wife and I can spend under 200 a week and that is with buying certain things that carry over into the following week(s). Definitely not scraping by, but just looking at what we need.
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