Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I wish the OP would come back and provide a little more information. Writing down her expenses in a post might uncover the leak or at least give her a good idea where to look. One thing that confuses me about their household financial set up is how they pay their bills. Do they keep an account into which they both contribute their entire paychecks, do they keep completely separate accounts and pay a percentage toward bills, or does she cover some bills and he cover others? In any case, it's time that she sit down with her husband and go through their income and expenses because clearly something is not adding up. The key to financial security is knowing to the penny how much is in each account, how much of that money is committed, and where it's going at all times.
Read some of the OP's other posts in reference to her marriage. That is definitely not a true partnership. I think a lot of $$$ is being spent in areas she is not privy to.
I make 45K and my husband 65K. We have no kids, just 2 dogs.
Our mortgage with taxes escrowed in is $1550 a month. We have 2 car payments and then all the regular bills (cable and internet, cell phones, electricity, groceries etc....). Only debt is 7K on a credit card.
We have about 20K saved but we always seem to be dipping into it. We don't spend a lot or go on lavish vacations. The only thing we might spend to much on is restaurants. I tried a monthly expense report and we should have plenty left over. My husband and I have separate checking accts and I don't know his log in so it's possible he is spending something I don't know about. I am not sure what else since we make over 6 figures combined.
The only way to find it is to write down every penny you spend for at least a month. Every penny.
People who do this are usually shocked at how much money they're blowing on stuff that isn't important to them.
Right off the bat though, those car payments and credit card debt are more toxic than you think.
Based on perusal of the OP's other threads, I'm going to take a wild stab at it and guess that her husband is hiding money from her, either through squirreling it away somewhere or by spending it on things of which she's not aware.
It's the cars. Depreciation, interest, taxes, insurance, maintenance...all net worth killers...
When those leases run out, replace them with something you can pay cash for.
This. OP, first of all, the two of you should be functioning as a team. If you have no idea what your husband is doing with his "discretionary income" after making his car payment and the mortgage, that's a major issue. A red flag, even. Usually, long-term financial goals are discussed prior to marriage, or if not then, in the first year the budget gets set. You two are 9 years in, and have no idea why you're not able to save? Something is wrong with this picture.
Secondly, the two of you should have figured out in advance of buying the cars what you could afford. We don't know what kind of cars you chose; are we talking twin Lexuses (Lexi?), or a couple of Honda Civics? I would suggest used Toyotas for the two of you, in the future. They are remarkably reliable and long-lived cars, so you can get them with significant mileage on them, yet they'll last you for 15 years, easily, only needing a couple of cheap part replacements, nothing major.
It's unusual that you two don't have a joint savings plan for retirement, for home repairs and maintenance, and for the occasional nice vacation. The fact that you say you're spending savings instead of compounding it is alarming. You two need to sit down and discuss, ASAP, where you want to be at 65, and how you plan to get there, beginning with next month's paychecks.
How are you going to pay for a new roof for your home? You've been in the home for 9 years, and they typically need a new roof every 15 years. What about a new exterior paint job? You must have repainted at least once now in the 9 years you've been there; or at the very least, the south side of the home. Who paid for that? Was that taken out of savings? A new roof will wipe out a big chunk of that savings. Paint jobs aren't cheap, either: thousands of dollars. Or were you not planning to do maintenance on the home? Just let it fall apart? Your home is a lifelong investment. Be sure to safeguard your investment by doing regular maintenance.
And btw, once you decide where you think you need to be at 65, add another roughly 30% to that figure. You cannot assume that your savings/investments will only grow. You need to calculate into your plan the occasional stockmarket setback (the dot com bubble burst in 2001 cost many people 1/4-1/3 of their nest egg, to say nothing of 2008 crisis!), and also the cost of home health care, should you need it when you get into the final years of your life. Home health care or an assisted living unit tend to burn through money, monthly!
Have fun getting real, you two. Let us know how it goes.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-19-2017 at 11:38 AM..
Based on perusal of the OP's other threads, I'm going to take a wild stab at it and guess that her husband is hiding money from her, either through squirreling it away somewhere or by spending it on things of which she's not aware.
I would agree.
OP, we tried to get you to go through your budget months ago and define your net worth and you didn't seem able, or want to, at that time (not that it was any of our business).
Money comes down to input and output
That's all that a budget is and does. Counting the money coming in and going out is our responsibility as adults.
You think pets are that expensive? I have 2 dogs, we pay about $30/month for food (a combination of Petsmart resold gift cards and Petsmart online sales) and then 2 checkups a year. That's about $600-$650/yr.
Some require more expense. We spend about $4500 a year on our dog which includes at least 2 vet visits a year (he's a senior), arthritis medication/heart worm and flea & tick preventatives, and mid-day walks on weekdays. The walks are what eat up a big part of that amount but are necessary since we both are away from the house for 10 hours, M-F.
I'm envious that you can get two vet visits for two dogs for $300. So even your vet bills are less expensive than in other areas of the country.
You have 2 dogs - there is your answer to where all the money is going, IF you are responsible pet owners. Keep the dogs, forget eating out so much and get cheaper cars. The dogs will give you more pleasure than everything else. Good luck.
The only way to find it is to write down every penny you spend for at least a month. Every penny.
People who do this are usually shocked at how much money they're blowing on stuff that isn't important to them.
Right off the bat though, those car payments and credit card debt are more toxic than you think.
You cannot guess expenses, or how much you spend on groceries or eating out, until you write down every single expenditure, You need to do this for a month & see what your actual expenses are, not assumed ones.
I will also agree that your dh seems to be hiding money from you. At a minimum he needs to be paying half of all the household bills as well as savings into an emergency household repair account.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Something is wrong with this picture.
So even your vet bills are less expensive than in other areas of the country.
