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Location: West Los Angeles and Rancho Palos Verdes
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In 1989 I had my heart torn to shreads by somebody, and although I rarely think about it, lately I've been wondering if that scar ever truly healed and I've ever actually moved on. I remember shortly after having my heart broken, my behavior changed and my outlook on life was different, which is normal especially given I was only 18 at the time, but lately I've been wondering if I'm still carrying the pain from that immense hurt and simply gotten used to it without perhaps remembering what life was like beforehand. In other words, I've been psychologically damaged and I'm not even aware of the damage because I've lived for so long with it. Has anybody else had similar thoughts on this sort of matter?
In 1989 I had my heart torn to shreads by somebody, and although I rarely think about it, lately I've been wondering if that scar ever truly healed and I've ever actually moved on. I remember shortly after having my heart broken, my behavior changed and my outlook on life was different, which is normal especially given I was only 18 at the time, but lately I've been wondering if I'm still carrying the pain from that immense hurt and simply gotten used to it without perhaps remembering what life was like beforehand. In other words, I've been psychologically damaged and I'm not even aware of the damage because I've lived for so long with it. Has anybody else had similar thoughts on this sort of matter?
Sounds exactly like me. I went through the same thing at the same age (1979). Very painful. I wonder if I have built a psychological protection mechanism to prevent me from ever going through that again. Also, I dread having my kids go through that. Very painful.
Usually in my observation and experience, one's early experiences with intimate relationships very quickly destroys one's innocent idealism and the loss of innocence is always especially poignant. Some adjust better than others.
Sometimes I think much if not all of our adult life is taken up with fully letting go of this particular illusion, so compelling it is. We seem unable to help ourselves. The only thing that is its equal is religious belief.
Yes especially if the person was a sociopath and it sounds like in your instance that might be the case. That happened to me. I have dated before and it has not worked out and I get upset but move on. This one guy lied and said he was gay when he was straight. While I dont want anything to do with him anymore and have moved on dating a guy who is better looking and has a better personality I have to admit I am still working through my issues not because it did not work out with the other guy but because he lied in a way that caused a lot of trauma in my life.
Yes especially if the person was a sociopath and it sounds like in your instance that might be the case. That happened to me. I have dated before and it has not worked out and I get upset but move on. This one guy lied and said he was gay when he was straight. While I dont want anything to do with him anymore and have moved on dating a guy who is better looking and has a better personality I have to admit I am still working through my issues not because it did not work out with the other guy but because he lied in a way that caused a lot of trauma in my life.
It doesn't work like it does in the movie "Kick-Ass," does it? Where the guy pretended to be gay, and they started dating afterwards?
It doesn't work like it does in the movie "Kick-Ass," does it? Where the guy pretended to be gay, and they started dating afterwards?
I have not heard of that movie but from your description no it does not. In fact not only did he lie about his sexual orientation he went out of his way to make it look like he was gay, even knowing the gay issues more then I did. On top of that he made it look like he was having coming out issues much like I did and he knew how hard it was for me. So I was a mess for a year and even to this day impacts me. That is why I can honestly say I regret ever being his friend and he is the only person I feel that way towards.
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