Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
or not...My mother told me a story about two boys who were chased by bullies everyday after school. Finally, their father decides that rather than let them in he would lock the door and force them to face the bullies and duke it out. Adults don't actually lock each other out if an assailant is chasing them and threatening bodily injury. So should boys be subjected to that? Why? If they are physically weaker should new skills like conflict resolution and calling an authority figure be taught to them?
Parents shouldn't lock their children out of the house for ANY REASON.
There is something to be said for standing up to a bully even if the bully is stronger. Bullies generally only pick on people who run or cower. They don't pick on people who are brave because that's not fun for them. Conflict resolution wouldn't really be beneficial because bullies aren't interested in resolving conflicts. They're only interested in causing conflicts because they get their kicks out of making people afraid. My children were often successful by outwitting bullies with humor and intelligence, but sometimes they had to stand their ground when that didn't work.
In my fifty years, I have yet run across a bully who continued to be aggressive when I stood my ground and stared them down---in childhood and adulthood. I'm not a big person. I weighed barely over 100 lbs most of my life.
That said, children need to be encouraged to stand up to bullies, not forced. They need to find it within themselves. The parent in your scenario was very wrong for forcing his boys to do something they weren't ready to do. Not only did he make his boys look even more pathetic to the bullies, what he did is abusive in my opinion.
If you want to give kids the power to stand up to bullies, you'll have to stand up to the school (and the school board) if it tries to punish your child for standing up for himself. Some schools are so afraid of lawsuits that they are happy to trample over the bullied to prevent controversy or commotion. So if your son/daughter is punished for standing up for himself/herself you have to take action.
Often it means having the parent filing a police report and THEN immediately sending demands to the school administration to do X, Y, and Z before they can come up with some excuse.
If things get rougher: If it means you hiring a private investigator to uncover dirt on board members or administrators (DON'T commit blackmail by threatening to expose this information if they do X, Y, and Z! Just expose it without warning!!!!), do it. That way any political machines that prevent honest elections can be subverted.
or not...My mother told me a story about two boys who were chased by bullies everyday after school. Finally, their father decides that rather than let them in he would lock the door and force them to face the bullies and duke it out. Adults don't actually lock each other out if an assailant is chasing them and threatening bodily injury. So should boys be subjected to that? Why? If they are physically weaker should new skills like conflict resolution and calling an authority figure be taught to them?
Teaching them that they need to stand up for themselves is not.
I think that it has nothing to do with Gender. Girls need to stand up for themselves too, and girls can be just as mean. The difference seems to be that boys will physically chase, threaten, harass; this is very easy to combat because you just have to shove the bully back, or even take the aggression out on the basketball court or football field. While girls can be physical bullies, they're more likely to just be socially vicious, which is often seems to be much more damaging and mean, and tougher to combat.
my method worked for me back in the day when the dinasaurs roamed.
"you probably could kick my arse, but I ain't afraid of you!!! why is it the bullies always picked on the smaller children, (like myself)...???
I have 3 sons and always told them this story.
Why DO bullies always pick on smaller children? It seems so illogical, doesn't it? They want to look tough, so they pick on people whom they KNOW/believe, are weaker than they are. How is that a challenge? How is that any proof that you're physically superior to someone? I mean, if you're much larger, you SHOULD probably "be able to take that guy". Again...where's that impressive?
They don't. They pick on whoever they feel they can dominate. One of the meaner bullies at my school was a shrimp, but he was sharp tongued, aggressive, and would pick on whoever he thought would get the best reaction. About 4th grade a couple of (bigger) kids got wise and pushed back. He learned his lesson but was still a mean little snit; just less willing to push people around.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
