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No.
I would never have kids. This is the only thing I am very proud of at this stage of life...I know I don't want any.
Firstly I am mentally Mod cut. Due to genetics(mentally I'll mother/ grandfather) and circumstances(sexually abused as a boy/ too lazy). I wouldn't wish life on anyone only to have him/her suffer the way I have, even if the chances of my offspring getting my mental makeup are 50/50.
Then the environment issue: I genuinely feel we are overburdening this planet. And for wht? Had it been a justified world where everyone lived happily and we thought collectively about Mars and the other side of our cosmos...maybe. But it ain't so. We are depleting our resources, killing endangered animals and simply overpopulating like a virus.
Then the fact that I am becoming a bonafide hedonist. The more I read about Epicurus and other hellistic thoughts the more I feel a sun tanned swimming pool, a bookshelf and occasional friends and non attached sex is my calling. My current fantasy which could easily be real(if my honesty sells it) is to live a few days exploring ancient ruins with an older woman(internet/skype arrangement) and hopefully have a great time having intellectual talks and good sex.
But having kids means that's tough.
Also I've been too hurt by everyone. I inherited everything from my mother. She was a free spirited butterfly but today is a vegetable depressed wreck. She just wanted to be nice and all she got was pain. I learnt this early on that being good seldom leads to happiness. People just walk on you.
Today I am a borderline misanthrope(depends on mood). I feel good to just say Mod cut, I am selfish. And frankly....a sensitive person like me simply won't be capable of doing it-family, expectations et all.
Thus I've programmed myself to never fall in love. And I've learnt to live with this.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-22-2015 at 07:19 PM..
Reason: Inappropriate language.
I believe that even if I were into sex, I wouldn't want to impregnate a woman. I'd rather adopt or just become a dad to a single mother's children (IF I weren't asexual, wanted to be a dad and believed I could be a good, competent father... which I doubt I could be).
People firstly bring babies into the world for the selfish reason of wanting them or for the act of sexual pleasure when they weren't planning to have children. I don't understand how anyone who likes children could choose to bring them into this world when there are already so many orphan children who need parents. The unselfish thing to do would be to adopt children. The world is crowded enough today as it is without bringing even more people into it.
Just as other posters mentioned, the climate changes and limited resources of these times also concerns me. Bringing more people into the world to use up more resources doesn't make sense to me.
I don't and likely never will have children (it's implausible since my vasectomy anyway). There are a variety of reasons why, but think I recently realized and can now articulate one of the most significant: By having offspring one is forcing existence on another person. I'm not comfortable with this.
As anyone with even a cursory understanding of evolution knows, individual life is about variability; some individuals are well suited for the environment and situation they're born into, some aren't. For those who have or are considering children, what if you're child turn out to be poorly suited for this world, and consequently winds up miserable the vast majority of their life: Wouldn't you feel awful for forcing existence on your child? I absolutely would since I'm one of the two persons directly responsible for her/his existence.
Does this make sense or am I completely off base?
no its a liget thought
I am not comfortable forcing anything on anybody. I am not happy with forcing a 17 trillion dollar debt on my grand kids (not born yet) because we are not strong enough to stop people thinking they are owed anything but the freedom to work for what they get in a fair market place.
I am not comfortable forcing anything on anybody. I am not happy with forcing a 17 trillion dollar debt on my grand kids (not born yet) because we are not strong enough to stop people thinking they are owed anything but the freedom to work for what they get in a fair market place.
Props to you and the poster above you. Unfortunately it's only the intelligent folks that think this way.
Most third world countries are littered with the opposite belief: family, legacy, society...nothing else matters.
My father once told me it's my moral obligation to bear him grand kids. And this thinking is rampant in such societies. And mark my words...this thought will ultimately be the bane of humanity. Not HIV or cancer or an asteroid hurling down. This thought.
There was a huge discussion along this vein some months ago, when someone who was an ardent antinatalist created a few different accounts to stimulate a debate on the matter.
The short answer to your question, as it applies to me, is "yes." I don't view existence as something inherently negative.
The short answer to your question, as it applies to me, is "yes." I don't view existence as something inherently negative.
Not necessarily negative, but random. Everything is much more random than the human mind is inclined to believe; perceptions contrary to this are primary a consequence of how the mind deals with this randomness.
Having a child is really a form of gambling because you don't know what you'll get. You might get a happy, well-adjusted person who can be mostly content in most situations, or you might get someone highly susceptible to behavioral/mood disorders who's miserable most of the time. Despite what many parents are inclined to think, their ability to shape their child's personality is actually fairly limited.
I just don't want to take the chance of forcing a miserable existence on someone, or worse, forcing a sociopath on others.
The most evil act that can be committed against someone is to cause their existence; it is upon that act that all other evil and horror that will befall them is based.
Not necessarily negative, but random. Everything is much more random than the human mind is inclined to believe; perceptions contrary to this are primary a consequence of how the mind deals with this randomness.
Having a child is really a form of gambling because you don't know what you'll get. You might get a happy, well-adjusted person who can be mostly content in most situations, or you might get someone highly susceptible to behavioral/mood disorders who's miserable most of the time. Despite what many parents are inclined to think, their ability to shape their child's personality is actually fairly limited.
I just don't want to take the chance of forcing a miserable existence on someone, or worse, forcing a sociopath on others.
And that's fine. If someone isn't having a child for any reason, they certainly shouldn't. Having a child is certainly a massive, massive undertaking and should not ever be taken lightly.
But the question itself, whether I am comfortable "forcing" existence on someone, assumes the negative; to refer to it as "forcing" implies that the child by default does not want to be born. My parents didn't "force" life on me, they brought me into life; before I was conceived, I was inert, a nonbeing with no awareness or ability to consent or deny, and this goes for everyone - including people who would have prefered not to have been born in the first place.
These discussions are certainly valid to have and I'm not saying that people who wish that they'd never been born are wrong to feel that way. But a recurring theme i see with people who feel this way or subscribe to this belief is the assumption that wishing to have never been born or hating life is a more pervasive state amongst people than it is. The vast bulk of people would seem to be content with having been brought into existence, even if they aren't content with their current lifestyle or situation.
The argument then often turns to the futulity and pointlessness of life, the illusory nature of happiness, and statements about how the average person's life isn't anywhere near as pleasant or consequential as they think it is, which is an invalid argument as we are all fit to assign our own value to our own lives. If someone is poor but finds happiness in books or art, or they are in chronic pain but find happiness in a spouse or a profession, then who is anyone to tell them that the suffering in their life is greater than their happiness?
Quote:
Originally Posted by wxf848
The most evil act that can be committed against someone is to cause their existence; it is upon that act that all other evil and horror that will befall them is based.
Not hardly. My life is ****ing great. The most evil act that anyone could commit on me would be to choose to end this life which I love, which would be an action committed by someone other than my parents. My parents messed up or made poor decisions at multiple points in my childhood and teens; the first decade and a half of my life weren't quite pleasant, all told, and I experienced traumas, but the other decade and a half have been wonderful and exciting in their ups and downs. If they are responsible for all thr traumas and pains I experienced then they're also responsible for all the happiness and joy I feel. I am quite happy having been born into existence and were I, hypothetically, able to consent to this life, I certainly would have. Why do you assume that bad is worse than good is better for any9ne but yourself?
To be honest, ever since about the age of 12 I've been thoroughly convinced my mom never should have forced existence on me.
I think if one accepts that the universe has no standard definition of good and bad than there is nothing your mother should or shouldn't have done. What happened happened. End of story.
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