Bay Area to Phoenix relocation early 2014 (Mesa, Scottsdale: houses, buy, private school)

[Thennafrey]

Hello! After some deliberation and several visits, we've decided to make the big move to Phoenix in early 2013! I have family in Phoenix, and we're very excited to move closer to them as they move into their golden years. We've lurked around this forum for a while and finally decided to ask some questions.

First, a little background. We're 40-something, well educated, married lesbians with two children under 8 years old. We are both white, one of our children is Korean, and the other is my natural child. While we're not overt about our sexuality, we definitely feel that it's in the best interest of our children, and their friends, to see an open, compassionate, committed relationship between two people of the same sex, as it's perfectly normal. Having said that, we have decided on moving into Central Phoenix and are currently looking for homes around Central Avenue and Bethany Homo Rd as we have heard that we would be accepted in that area and it is near so many conveniences such as the farmer's market downtown, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and other amenities. We also like its established but slightly liberal vibe, and coming from high property values of the Bay Area, we're going to be able to afford much more for the same price.

Since we both work from home--me for a large multinational and my partner for a well known charity--commute isn't an issue, but we do like the close proximity to the airport as both of us travel from time to time, especially my partner. We currently send our children to private school, and will do so in Phoenix also.

We have a couple of concerns before we take the plunge, however, and you could say we're getting cold feet, so we'd really appreciate it if you could weigh in on these few worries before we make the commitment.

Mormons are a concern to us. We're very open minded, but the Prop 8 issue was very concerning, and while we want our children to be accepting of faith and culture, we also don't want our children falling victim to a cult of intolerance. We know Mormons are highly active in Gilbert and Mesa, and that they don't tolerate our family unit, so we plan to keep our distance. Are there Mormons in Central Phoenix? Should we be concerned? Are there other areas you would recommend instead?

The gun culture is another one. We hear about it a lot but we didn't see anything telling when we have visited. We don't own a gun but we would be purchasing them when we got there as my partner is insistent that it is needed when driving in that area due to hot headed motorists. I have to admit, reading through this forum can be scary in that respect (no offense)! That is not my main question though; I'm wondering how you recommend introducing your children to firearms, for the purposes of safety? Are we crazy? My partner is very well acquainted with guns, but I am a newbie!

Swimming pools. We won't buy a home without one! But, we have concerns. All parents know how fast children run off. Ours are good swimmers, but we noticed most homes don't have pool fences. Is this legal?

Drive to Flagstaff. Anyone do this frequently? We thought of moving there, but it just doesn't have what we need. We still plan to take advantage of being so close though because we love the mountains!

Thanks so much in advance!!! We're looking forward to becoming neighbors!

[DetroitN8V]

I sent you a more detailed DM, but I don't think Central PHX is the only area that you'd fit it. Central PHX is a beautiful area but I didn't want you to think that it is your only option. As a whole, the valley is very accepting and people seem to mind their own business. I think you're right to stay out of Gilbert and Mesa due to the Mormon population, but I wouldn't eliminate other areas.

Tempe is known as the most liberal city in the valley and had a gay mayor for many years (someone please correct me if I'm wrong). Scottsdale is beautiful, safe and upscale (for the most part). Being pricier, residents tend to be better educated and therefore less prejudice (my opinion). There are many other areas too that would probably be a good fit. I just throw that out there to hopefully minimize some of your concerns and let you know that you have many options when selecting a place for your family. Good luck and welcome!

[cactusland]

I would look at Tempe.

Edit: Take a class on proper firearm safety, the two of you can do it together.

[phx1205]

Originally Posted by Thennafrey

The gun culture is another one. We hear about it a lot but we didn't see anything telling when we have visited. We don't own a gun but we would be purchasing them when we got there as my partner is insistent that it is needed when driving in that area due to hot headed motorists. I have to admit, reading through this forum can be scary in that respect (no offense)! That is not my main question though; I'm wondering how you recommend introducing your children to firearms, for the purposes of safety? Are we crazy? My partner is very well acquainted with guns, but I am a newbie

Is this a joke? She is planning on shooting at cars that cut her off? Yikes.

[motormaker]

Early 2013?

[stevek64]

Originally Posted by Thennafrey

The gun culture is another one. We hear about it a lot but we didn't see anything telling when we have visited. We don't own a gun but we would be purchasing them when we got there as my partner is insistent that it is needed when driving in that area due to hot headed motorists. I have to admit, reading through this forum can be scary in that respect (no offense)! That is not my main question though; I'm wondering how you recommend introducing your children to firearms, for the purposes of safety? Are we crazy? My partner is very well acquainted with guns, but I am a newbie!

Wow, not sure where that belief comes from but I can tell you we've lived out here for many years, drive a great deal and have traveled/driven in many parts of the country and while there are aggressive drivers everywhere, we have found the Phoenix metro overall to have mellow drivers. In our experience driving around other big cities in this country, I'd rank Phoenix solid in the mellow category in comparison. Drive in some big cities out east and you'll see what I would call true "hot headed" motorists!

In any case, good luck on your search!

[ametha1]

We just relocated from Milwaukee to PHX back in August. Bethany Home? From what I got this really isn't the best area. Why don't you stay in temporary housing first? That' s what we did.

That gun statement is just a little extreme LOL. I agree with PHX1205. Are you planning on shooting hot headed drivers? Seriously???

Also it makes me sad that you have to feel like you need a place where you can be accepted. Who cares what people think anyways? I certainly wouldn't let it deter you from living anywhere. All the houses here are fenced in anyways. You will prob have little contact with neighbors unless you choose too.

[DetroitN8V]

Originally Posted by ametha1

Bethany Home? From what I got this really isn't the best area.

Bethany Home and Central is a very nice area with many houses $700k+. Take a look: Pretty, huh?

[43north87west]

Originally Posted by Thennafrey

... looking for homes around Central Avenue and Bethany Homo Rd

OK... assuming it's a typo, that's a beautiful area. I also agree that you don't have to feel limited to that area if you find other areas that you think might be good for you. Tempe and Scottsdale are suburbs but have good amounts of what it seems you are looking for. I haven't lived in Tempe, but I have lived adjacent to it in Phoenix, as well as in North Scottsdale (twice), and Central Phoenix. It's not like some cities where there is a huge density of gay people then a dearth of them everywhere else. Here there are different areas where people choose to live and they just live there and nobody pays much attention. I had gay neighbors in North Scottsdale both times, but didn't have any in Ahwatukee, that I knew of.

Speaking in generalities, people are very open and pretty much mind their own business around here, so you can live anywhere.

Conversely, you do not have to go outside of the city limits merely to find educated people or upscale living--the area north of Bethany Home on Central is hardly downscale and it's not alone in that distinction among Phoenix areas.

Originally Posted by Thennafrey

Are there Mormons in Central Phoenix? Should we be concerned?

Probably but it's not like Mesa and Gilbert. They won't eat your children but "live and let live" (or more like let them live elsewhere) is probably the better bet.

Originally Posted by Thennafrey

The gun culture is another one. We hear about it a lot but we didn't see anything telling when we have visited. We don't own a gun but we would be purchasing them when we got there as my partner is insistent that it is needed when driving in that area due to hot headed motorists.
... Are we crazy? My partner is very well acquainted with guns, but I am a newbie!

I don't think there are too many ad hoc duels taking place at stoplights... The perception of Arizona is different to outsiders than the reality is to those who live here. Go for it if you want to for whatever reasons, but don't do it just because you've heard people are lunatics on the roads. They're not that bad, with a handful of abjectly idiotic exceptions. Lots of snowbirds and they can be kind of poky but if you just cut them a little slack everything is usually fine.

Originally Posted by Thennafrey

Swimming pools. We won't buy a home without one! But, we have concerns. All parents know how fast children run off. Ours are good swimmers, but we noticed most homes don't have pool fences. Is this legal?

Most backyards are walled rather than pools fenced, but some pools are fenced within the yard. It's up to you how you want it.

Originally Posted by Thennafrey

Drive to Flagstaff. Anyone do this frequently? We thought of moving there, but it just doesn't have what we need. We still plan to take advantage of being so close though because we love the mountains!

It's about 2 hours. Weather can really toss a wrench into your plans though because of the huge elevation change. I usually spend 1-2 weekends in Flagstaff each month unless I'm at my summer house. I have an all wheel drive SUV that is basically dedicated to Flagstaff duty, and it has come in very handy. Also, it seems that someone is always wiping out a fifth wheel or RV in the mountain passes on Sunday afternoon, which can close the highway. Don't ever plan on leaving Flagstaff on a Sunday morning if you have a pressing engagement Sunday evening in Phoenix. One time I had to detour almost 180 miles to get around a full closure of the interstate and back to Phoenix.

[43north87west]

Originally Posted by ametha1

We just relocated from Milwaukee to PHX back in August. Bethany Home? From what I got this really isn't the best area. Why don't you stay in temporary housing first? That' s what we did.

Bethany Home Rd. and Central Avenue... have you been there?!