Should I move to AZ or struggle in Long Island, NY (Phoenix: fit in, lease)

[rammie]

I posted a similiar post on the long island forums but havent gotten much response so Im trying the other side...lol....Im a single, mother of 2 boys ages 7 and 10. I used to work for America West Airlines about 15 yrs ago and want to go back so bad but I dont really have free babysitters. Im tired on living in NY because it is getting so expensive. I just sold my house and took a big loss for it because I just couldnt afford it anymore. I get 2100 in child support a month and w/o having a job, Im basing my monthly expenses on that. I have a half brother who lives in Prescott but his children and grand children live in Peoria. They have wanted me to move there since I worked for america west. I have lived in Colorado and Ohio for a couple of yrs but most of my life has been in NY. My ex doesnt mind me taking the boys to live in AZ so thats not an issue. My biggest question is do you think AZ would be better for me then NY. I wish AZ was closer to NY but I want to move someplace where I have friends and family. I also have a half sister in San diego. I dont have much family here. I want the best for my children, thats my main concern. Any advise would be greatly appreciated..

[Ponderosa]

Years ago I did not think so, but I have come to believe that having family nearby is a very important key to satisfaction about where one lives - assuming you get along with the family, of course. It sounds like you have nothing to lose. 2100/mo will keep you alive here and maybe some job will turn up for you over time. You could probably buy a house in PHX area for what you were paying in property tax in NY. But live in as nice an area as you possibly can. Don't skimp on rent, because school quality here depends mostly on the income of the area. Not sure if you are thinking about Peoria or Prescott, but Peoria would be a better choice as it is cheaper (Prescott is very pricey) with more job opportunities and things for a young family to do. Your boys will fit in right off. There are so many new people who come that being a new kid in school is no big deal.

On the other side of the coin, I think NY and easterners in general sometimes have a tough go of it here. The so-called culture is more west coast, people keep more to themselves, and it can get lonely if you are not the outgoing type who seeks out friends. But young people adapt and all in all, I believe this is a whole lot better part of the country to be in than the east.

[observer53]

Ultimately, only you can decide which is better for you. It would seem that having family support might help you eventually get back in the workforce, even if that's not possible right away. And, if just having family close by is helpful to you on an emotional level, then the move may make sense.

Your children will be happy if you are happy; also, children adapt very easily. People will come on here and tell you how horrible the schools are in AZ. Funding for education here is very poor, but a good education isn't entirely dependent on how much money is spent. There are very good schools/school districts here, you can do a bit of research on that on the Great Schools website.

[Ritchie_az]

It's always a personal choice. Nobody here can decide for you (although some will flat-out say "don't come"). If you don't mind trading cold winters for hot summers, Arizona is a great state to live in.
Is your current career in aviation? Perhaps America West (or one of the other airlines) is hiring. It would be a good idea to check into that, and, if so, apply before you even come out (if you decide to move here).
Have you thought of moving to Prescott (a nice mid-sized mountain town)? You have family there, and, depending on what your aviation-related occupation was, there is an airport (Earnest A Love Field), and a surprisingly large aviation presence.
Best of luck!

[roundball]

I don't understand why you haven't made the move yet. It seems to me that your mind is already set on moving here. If you're looking for permission you have mine .....as long as you're not one of those NY'ers that always has to remind people you came from NY.

[DarinsMom]

My one concern for you is are you taking the kids away from their dad? I wouldn't make the move unless they would have visitations in place - kids need both parents available (if possible) in a divorce situation.

I still toy with moving to AZ from MA. I am so tired of the winters here and my husband has horrible depression during the winter/spring - I think it would be a good move all around for us, but he has a daughter from his first marriage who lives in Rhode Island and I'd hate to move that far away from her - even though her mother had no problem moving her 2 hours away from us - but I digress ;-)

It does sound like cost of living-wise, you'd be much better in AZ....and the weather can't be beat! Good luck with your decision.

Darinsmom

[twiggy]

To be blunt you could probably survive on the 2100 dollars alone in Phoenix. The rent on a decent 3 bedroom house can be as low as 800 a month in the burbs right now. Check out places like Maricopa and Queen Creek. Bit of a drive to downtown but a lot cheaper and then if you work it won't be to "make it", it will just be extra. Plus our freeways are easy to drive. You could work anywhere so you could be by school and home for emergencies.
I'm moving back east, but security for your kids is important so if I were you I would move were it's cheaper and there is family. Schools are what you make of them as previous posters have said but security financially is the only way you will feel in control of your situation, and you probably really need that right now. Good luck and check in with us and let us know if you need anything.
As for their dad and visitation it's called a plane, plenty of my friends flew back for summers to see their dads and had a great time. It works out, don't worry about it. I think if he was a great dad and has been seeing them often, weekly, you wouldn't be thinking about moving anyway or needing to be by family but even if he is, if you can't afford it then you can't afford it. It's hard for a single woman to work and raise kids, with all the time you need off for illness and other things you will need to work somewhere close and understanding in order to keep the job. Do what you have to do, it's survival time.

[rammie]

wow, you guys are the best. I love the positive feedback. This is what I needed, just a little push to do the right thing. I have read so many other forums how Az is too hot and the schools stink but Ive been to AZ so much when I worked for america west that the heat doesnt bother me. As far as schools go, they are better in NY then AZ but the most impt thing is no matter where you live, that you stay on top of your kids with homework, tests, etc. I am concentrating on the Peoria area since I know the schools are good there. I do make friends easily but Im not young, Im 42 with the 2 youngs boys but I can be outgoing around the right people...lol...My ex husband is a electrician and he gets laid off a few months a yr the way the union is here so he would just come and visit then. He sometimes thinks about moving there too since he has family there also but his cut in pay would be half, which we were suprised..Anyway, I have lived in CO and Oh and I remember when i used to work the NY flts in CMH, my fellow employees would always have me work them since I knew how to deal with NYers, so there is some good to being one...lol...Im not the aggressive nasty type though because the other cities said, youre not like most nyers, youre nice..I alwasy got a kick out of that, we re not all bad..loll...Im flying out in Feb and then again in March when the boys have vacation from school so I will really look into the schools, etc...I love Vistancia but it seems too far to commute to the airport everyday but all of Peoria seems nice.

[Ritchie_az]

Peoria could be a good starting point. Do a six-month lease, and that will give you time to explore and see just where you might want to live. There are some excellent schools in the area, so perhaps living near one of them would be a good idea. I saw a link on this forum just yesterday listing all the schools rated "excelling", but I can't remember which thread it's in.

[rammie]

yes, its greatschools.com which i have researched. Im not sure how excelling compares to NY standards but Im sure with most schools, excelling has to be good anywhere in the US...