A Serious Question for African Americans (Racism) (rating, financial, education)

[LAB6120]

I agree with the OP, I worked in the Gramercy Park area of NYC from 00" to 06" and got a lot of this treatment from some white people. Although I was not a "professional" as her, I dressed as best I could for the job-a technician for Verizon, I did not look like a "thug", my attire was slacks and a polo shirt and my picture ID was always worn around my neck in plain view. Some would cross the street when they saw me coming, only to cross back when I passed, some ladies would move or hold their purses closer. I remembered going into a building and an older white man asking me "what the f are you doing here", I was so shocked, I couldn't even utter a word. I once had a man call me the N-word while I was crossing the street(although it looked as if there was something mentally wrong with him).

It really took a toll on me, I became so withdrawn and selfconcious-always anxious about each day at work. I am not from this country and was so surprised at this behavior, I never got use to that treatment.

[aspiesmom]

Originally Posted by LAB6120

I agree with the OP, I worked in the Gramercy Park area of NYC from 00" to 06" and got a lot of this treatment from some white people. Although I was not a "professional" as her, I dressed as best I could for the job-a technician for Verizon, I did not look like a "thug", my attire was slacks and a polo shirt and my picture ID was always worn around my neck in plain view. Some would cross the street when they saw me coming, only to cross back when I passed, some ladies would move or hold their purses closer. I remembered going into a building and an older white man asking me "what the f are you doing here", I was so shocked, I couldn't even utter a word. I once had a man call me the N-word while I was crossing the street(although it looked as if there was something mentally wrong with him).

It really took a toll on me, I became so withdrawn and selfconcious-always anxious about each day at work. I am not from this country and was so surprised at this behavior, I never got use to that treatment.

yeah, that is blatant ignorant racism...sad

[LuckyGem]

Given another situation you'd get the EXACT same stares and questions and dirty looks from other "so called" black people.

You should never feel like you need to explain yourself to anyone with regard to informing them about how qualified you are to perform your job, or how much you earn, or where you got your degree from.

Tally all of your past and present experience dealing with the jerks and label it "dealing with unenlightened people". Not racism. It's stupid people.

[Darkatt]

And Nadia_NY2010, something else to consider, not everyone one looks, asks, etc is a racist. Some people may be naturally curious, since this is new to them, others, may be asking because this hasn't been the norm. Some of the people may actually be idiots or racists, others, may be inquisitive because they are faced with new situation, and THEY aren't sure how to act.

I would say, take it in stride, and deal with people on a basis of respect, and they will respect and accept you, at least most of them will, You will run into some racists, in all walks of life. Racists of all racial backgrounds, and each one showing you their immaturity, or their own prejudices and bias. Step forward and deal with the next as a new experience, and don't let it get to you. There are things in the world more important than someone's prejudices and bias.

[Frankie117]

Originally Posted by aspiesmom

If its not intentionally mean-spirited, you may be right that its just naivete, and/or just plain curiosity. I grew up in Miami, so I had a slightly New Yorkese accent growing up. I moved to a college in North Georgia and everyone was very curious about my accent, they thought I was FROM New York, and asked me lots of questions. Then I was there about two years and sounded just like the locals, and went on a "Big Apple Tour" with the drama club from same college. When we checked into the Tudor Hotel on 42nd Street in NYC, omigosh, the stares we got from the hotel clerks, it was so funny, they kept signalling us to come over and asked us a bunch of questions, they just wanted to hear us talk

Yep, and sometimes people are simply curious but too afraid to approach or ask. Or perhaps people simply dwell in their comfort zones a little too much. What I hate is when people have stereotypes instilled before they ever meet someone of a particular clique, race, or subculture. Especially when misconceptions cement someones views for life regardless of whether or not they are true.

I have always been one to believe that racism requires intent.

[Shizzles]

Originally Posted by Benicar

I was taught early in life to NEVER internalize the prejudice and ignorance of others. You have no control over their behavior, but you DO control your response. I could be mistaken, but I suspect your anguish is palpable, which certainly does nothing to mitigate the problem. If anything, they are empowered by YOUR insecurities. It’s similar to the bully mentality.

I am also a professional black woman. However, I enjoy competing in a white, male-dominated environment. I also enjoy dispelling myths through my strengths and accomplishments. You, nor I, have an obligation to change the hearts and minds of racists. Actually, we can’t, because hardcore bigotry is entrenched. Ignore it, even laugh at it, and it won’t control your life.

I strive for excellence in my professional endeavors. If that offends others -- white, black, male, female, purple, or polka dot, so be it. That is their cross to bear, not mine. If you are unable to roll with the punches, they will eat you alive.

/\ This.

I had a similar experience going to trade school here in suburban Philly. The "Jokesters" got real quiet when I graduated top of the class....

[aspiesmom]

I had a situation in my 3rd or 4th job ever (at McDonald's of course, teen summer work). I was working with the first black male teen in my life. I do not know if I was being exceptionally shy or "too" friendly or showed fear or what, but one day he told me to hold an empty cup , he put it in my hand, and walked off leaving me to hold the cup. I did not know what was going on, if he was coming back to get it or what. When he never came back I figured he was just teasing me or being mean. I never knew why really. It made me feel bad about myself.

[theunbrainwashed]

I got racist remarks thrown at me before (coincidentally I lived in a heavily Democratic area populated by a lot of New Yorkers) because I'm Puerto Rican but I never internalized the remarks cause at the end of the day, racist words are just words, to me it's no worse than stupid

[Factsplease]

Originally Posted by Driller1

Not rude, just honest.

This is the OP's first post.

The "agenda" just won't fly with me. Ever.

A little paranoid, are we? One's experience or feelings is not an agenda. Did you have an agenda when you were discriminated against for being a woman? I don't think there is any agenda in the OP. Racism does exist but it only truly matters when it is holding someone back from something they deserve. That is not the case here, just someone venting about something that frustrates them. No agenda.

[Calvinist]

Originally Posted by Nadia_NY2010

Good Morning,

First, I'll begin by stating --I'm African American (born and raised in NY State). After working in NYC for a number of years, I relocated to pursue a new career. Presently, I do a lot of work related traveling; therefore, I venture back to NY on occasion. Because my job finances my travels, I am able to stay at very exclusive hotels in Manhattan. Having this level of 'access' has truly awakened me to the harsh realities of racism.


When I check in at these 'exclusive hotels' I'm often stared at. Many seem to be taken aback that I can 'afford' to stay at such a posh hotel. While using the business facilities, exercising room, etc, I'm greeted with the same level of hostility from the guests (especially white men and women).

I've been told that I look far younger than what I am, and people simply do not expect that a young African American female can afford to stay at such exclusive places. This however strikes me as extremely racist, because it really signifies that people expect blacks to fit into their 'negative stereotypes.' Of course when they come across blacks that don't, it really throws them off; and they do not know what to do.

In truth, my experiences while traveling (especially to NY) have changed my overall disposition. As a result of the racism that I experience, I rarely smile, or say good morning.


Also, sadly, when I show up for work related off-site assignments in NY, the people at the work location seem taken aback that I'm black. The same white people that were extremely friendly over the phone (when we discussed the project during the early phases) appear very shocked that I'm black.

Usually, the meeting goes through several phases, the first phase typically involves a full assessment of my educational background and credentials (despite the fact that technically, I'm the lead on the project and do not work for them). Nevertheless, it always takes a turn for the worst, when they discover that the young black 'girl' is actually highly credentialed and very well qualified. Knowing that I'm a graduate of the Ivy League seems to anger them. Furthermore, once they learn more about my background, they become highly envious.


I've experienced this on multiple occasions. For this reason, I no longer entertain any questions about my background. I do enjoy my line of work, but seriously, it's beginning to take an emotional toll.


Imagine, going to a work site where people constantly question your abilities, and then when you go out for lunch, you can't even receive adequate service from restaurants (primarily in NY) because they view most blacks as poor and insignificant. Also, imagine that when you hail a taxi, and tell the taxi driver where you are going, he seems startled and gears the entire conversation around how you -- 'a black person' can stay at such an exclusive hotel. What's your line of work? What school did you attend? How much money do you make? How did you get that position? Surely the same cab driver would NEVER ask these questions if I were white, because it would be assumed that I 'deserve' to be there.

Lastly, imagine returning to your hotel, only to be met by guests that stare at you (as if you are a wild animal) despite being very professionally dressed.I never really understood the full extent of how racism can impact a person's life, until I started traveling to these elite locations. I'm curious as to how my fellow upwardly mobile African Americans, in similar situations manage to deal with these issues.

Again, it's really starting to take a toll on my health. Any advice that you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

I used to work for a very nice, international hotel chain. As a result I could stay in any of the hotels for about $40/night. I can honestly say I've never thought twice when I saw a black person check in. Is it possible that maybe some of that is imagined?