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A lot of marriages stayed together because women had no other options to support themselves.
Now that they do, it's harder to stay married to some jerk that treats you like Mom 2.0.
So, yeah...I think the liberation of women (or even feminism) has wrecked marriage in the sense that the master-servant role has been eradicated.
For some reason, being thought of and being treated as equals is still a pretty far fetched dream for many women...so they leave their relationships.
Excellent post and oh so true! At least now, women do have a choice of whether or not they have to stay with a jerk or starve. As you pointed out...being treated like an equal is an entirely different matter and is still a pretty far-fetched dream for many women. Far too many men still see many tasks as "women's work". To be fair though, there are a whole lot of women out there who still see many tasks as "men's work" too! Many a time I've heard the question, "Why do YOU have to fix that? Your HUSBAND should be doing that for you." My response? "Why is that? I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself. In fact, I LIKE doing it. I'd be embarrassed to ask my husband to do something so simple for me!"
My Mom is a feminist Mom although she probably wouldn't call herself that. She raised my brother and I after our Dad left us when we were kids. We came out all right. It takes a strong, wise, smart, and independent woman to pull that off. If it were not for feminism, then we would have been left hoping that Daddy would come back.
[F that. He can keep walking]
i think you're right that personal experience is key in this whole discussion. everyone speaks from personal experience, and none of us share the same experiences.
Excellent post and oh so true! At least now, women do have a choice of whether or not they have to stay with a jerk or starve. As you pointed out...being treated like an equal is an entirely different matter and is still a pretty far-fetched dream for many women. Far too many men still see many tasks as "women's work". To be fair though, there are a whole lot of women out there who still see many tasks as "men's work" too! Many a time I've heard the question, "Why do YOU have to fix that? Your HUSBAND should be doing that for you." My response? "Why is that? I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself. In fact, I LIKE doing it. I'd be embarrassed to ask my husband to do something so simple for me!"
Yes. Women can't ask to be treated like equals and then turn into princesses when the tough work comes to the forefront.
To be honest, though, in my circle of friends, etc, there aren't very many jobs or chores that are really like that...most people have maids and yard services (or they are able to reach some compromise on that front)...and they all eat out A LOT (something I don't really think is a great idea, but if they can afford it and it keeps their marriage intact, who am I to say anything?).
Our generation (current parents of young kids) needs to teach our sons there's no such thing as 'women's work' and teach our daughters everything we teach our sons...then maybe their generation will have a chance to have truly equal, respectful relationships.
I swear to god, it's effin' 2011 and Thanksgiving is still females in the kitchen and men goofing off watching football (or setting turkeys on fire outside in some kooky bbq contraption).
I swear to god, it's effin' 2011 and Thanksgiving is still females in the kitchen and men goofing off watching football (or setting turkeys on fire outside in some kooky bbq contraption).
What's wrong with this though? Men and women will always be different. I think it's great. Guys like sports and bbq contraptions, always have and always will.
And before you say that I only like it because the women are working, I will add that I also think it's great when the man works 12 hour days just to provide the little extras for the woman.
What's wrong with this though? Men and women will always be different. I think it's great. Guys like sports and bbq contraptions, always have and always will.
And before you say that I only like it because the women are working, I will add that I also think it's great when the man works 12 hour days just to provide the little extras for the woman.
Yeah, if only it was just the SAH women, who have husbands working 12 hrs per day to provide the "extras" who are spending 12 hrs in the kitchen, for someone who is sitting in front of the tv. Hey, I admit, I put a whole lot more into T-day than a lot of women, and I don't mind admitting that I can get a little irate when my man doesn't even ask if there's anything he can do. One year, (many ago), we got into it on T morning. He was being a j-e-r-k...and I said, "You know WHAT? I'm outta here. You want Thankgiving dinner, YOU make it!" Hey...he did! I stayed gone until it was done, too. LOL
He helped me for a couple of years (a bit) after that...but then I got smart and started doing much of it ahead of time. By the time T day gets here, I've only got about 2 hrs of work to do in the kitchen. Older and wiser.
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