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Wow, I'm just amazed at all the negativity in this thread! smh
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue
I think that if it wasn't for family members & others in society's (possible) negative feelings, opinions & comments, that more white men would date/marry black women. But because white men don't want to look "bad" in the eyes of their parents, other relatives, maybe coworkers, & strangers in society, meaning being stared at, talked about behind their back, thought of in a different light, possibly have biracial children, etc., they tend to stay away & not date/marry black women.
Many parents today still are willing to disown their kids if they date/marry the "wrong" race person, which is a real shame! TONS & TONS of black men date/marry white women, so why not a lot more white male/black female relationships?
And please, no one say anything to cause this thread to be closed. (And please, no one think I'm trying to be racist...I'm a biracial person myself.)
OP- One thing's for sure, this sort of thinking is more common here in the states than in any other country. I have family members who are married to European white guys and I very much doubt that they share the same thinking lol.
When I travelled to Europe last year to visit them, I was just amazed at all the the White man/Black women couples on the streets!
On the other hand, you have to take into account the U.S. history between blacks and whites-slavery, segregation and all the stereotypes of white American men about African American, and vice versa. At least that's how I understand the reticence from both races, as far as not feeling 100% comfortable with being seeing with each other.
Though that's a shame. My little nieces are the cutest!
Also, I'm sure both races are attracted to each other, but white men will usually never admit it or even approach black women because of the country's history and stereotypes- I think?
Could someone explain why these guys, who are most likely in low-skilled, menial jobs (like taxi drivers and mechanics), believe that their preferences trumps that of famous, wealthy and powerful men who date/marry Black women? Its beyond puzzling.
Wow, I'm just amazed at all the negativity in this thread! smh
Seconded.
I'm honestly still shocked sometimes at the fighting and causing such complications over something seemingly petty in the end -- and still, in 2013! I feel sad for people who are fearful of bringing over a loved one from a different race because their family voiced certain opinions in the past... and even more for people who actually hold those kind of opinions. The world already has enough problems, why add to it?
It also amazes me how much people love to stick to their stereotypes and categorization for an entire race. As in, like, a population that can consist of millions of people all over the planet. It's even crazier when people start assigning blanket personality traits to these people, as if they're practically written in stone. I personally can't see myself sitting here and saying I'm not attracted to Indian men or Black men, for example. There are just way too many people (and differences within those people) in this world to make that kind of blanket assertion. But people have a right to their preferences. Though I do sometimes wonder if people really understand what a 'preference' means, compared to just complete outright exclusion. A preference would be more along the lines of me saying that I like apples and oranges, but I prefer apples - meaning that I'm not totally opposed and will eat oranges if the opportunity arises. On the opposite end, a true preference is not so much that I like apples and absolutely won't eat oranges (no matter what kind) at all. Bit of a difference.
Luckily, it was always made clear in my family from when I was young that it doesn't matter what race my future husband/wife is, as long as we're compatible and treat each other well. Makes me glad I don't have to deal with that kind of dramatic bull with my family and friends.
OP here. For those who think I'm a white male, you're so not close. (In my OP, I said I was biracial, but I didn't want to say my race because I don't want people to say, "Oh well no wonder he/she is asking this question or saying this or that.") I know there's a lot of race threads. I'm just a curious person who wanted to raise this specific topic. I mean I sure can't go asking white men this in person as I'm out & about. They'll look at me like I'm crazy.
And I had this thread in the Relationship forum, but I guess a mod put it here...don't know why since it's about relationships. Why do topics like this have to be controversial?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68
I'm sure there are some white men out there who won't marry interracially for fear of social pressure or how their family would react. But would you really want a man who doesn't have the balls to stand up and fight for the woman he loves, regardless of her race?
No, but if the white guy's like that, I won't have to worry about it anyway because he won't like me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I remember being a kid and my dad making it known to me that I shouldn't bring home a black girl. It just so happens growing up I never met a black girl that I clicked with. I went to high school that was pretty racially diverse, even 25 yrs ago.
...
Black guys have been dating white women for a long long time as opposed to the other way, so I figure if a black woman wants to date interracially, but all means she should do it... lord knows the guys have been for a long time. I also think that there is more pressure in the black community for black women to be "loyal" but the guys get free reign.... sound like BS to me....
Yes, many people's parents are like this, whether it's 2013 or not.
I don't give a flying fig what Black men think about Black women dating non-Black guys. Black guys certainly appear to dat whoever they want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Californian34
I don't think white men care what their parents or anyone else thinks. I think they care less what others think than anyone else in our society. I think the biggest reason more white men are not attracted to black women is the way black women are portrayed in this society. black women are as diverse as any other group of people, but you wouldn't know that from the media. most white men don't actually know, personally, any black women. of course, most white men would still be primarily attracted to their own women. that's only natural, imo.
Yes, unfortunately, the media does a bad job of portraying certain races &/or genders horribly. So how else are certain others to think about that particular race/gender?
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl332
In most instances, it's not because the guy is "white;" it's more or less the negative history that both, black American women and white American men haven't been able to bury, collectively. White American guys for the most part do not consider black women, as a viable dating option (and vice versa). I have however noticed that when black women leave the States and are exposed to non American white guys, who do not share the same negative/stereotypical views about black women, the situation changes, and black women are very likely to date inter-racially.
I'll never forget my experience studying abroad in Geneva Switzerland and Paris. A number of European guys would stop me, while I was out and about and ask me out on a date. Initially, I was caught off guard, because I hadn't really experienced white guys being so forward in the past, but then I quickly realized that these guys did not view black women from the same lens as many white American men, so the circumstances were very different.
I like traveling in general & I've wanted to go to Europe anyway...not for the purpose of seeing race relations, but now that you bring up this point, it would be interesting to see that too & the different mindset of people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy
I think that it is pointless to have this discussion as if Black American women are a monolithic group because we are not. Middle class and upper class Black women make up the largest percentage of the BW in interracial couples.
A lot of powerful and wealthy White men have Black wives. (George Lucas and his new bride Mellody Hobson)
The fastest growing group in interracial marriages is between WM/BW. WM/BW also have the lowest divorce rate of ALL couples (including same race couples with the one exception being of AM/AW couples)
I never knew Lucas' wife was black nor many other celeb white men who are married to black wives. I don't think a lot of people know, but if these same men were married to white women, I bet a LOT more of us would hear/see of it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Californian34
yep. there is always white supremacy to fight. I thought my husband and I had done a very good job of countering the messages our kids receive from the media, but the other day my son said one of his little friends, a girl, was "too black." anyone who knows me knows I almost lost my cool. I was like, "too black for what? too black to be pretty?" I had to break it down for him as best I could to a 7 year old. i'm trying to raise him and his sister to not be racist, but be aware that there is a reason why certain things are done by certain people.
in California, everyone has dated a Mexican, black, white, whatever, including myself. here in Virginia, it's not common to see Mexican (or those we perceive to be Mexican) with white or black women. but I thin people look down on them here. I was waiting out a rain storm in my car the other day and one of the gardeners was stuck out in it. I cracked my door and gave him an umbrella through the crack. he stood there holding it for a second for me like I was instructing him to hold it for me so I could get out of my car. I told him it was for him, that I ha another one. the whole situation made me angry. I cannot imagine the type of people he has probably encountered here in Va to feel I would be such an a**hole.
Good for you for raising your son to think more in-depth & no just see color! Yes, there can definitely be racism amongst one's OWN race too. People within their own race wants to be light-skinned & darker skin is generally looked down upon. But then, many people want what they don't have. Look at all the white people who want that tan. I know, it's not that they want to be black. Tan skin in society seems to be portrayed as sexier, healthier-looking (if not to the extreme), etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009
...all races and all human beings are created equal to begin with. There are both beautiful African American women as well as Caucasian women. There are kind and loving women of all colors. Women of color are just as precious, unique, and special as human beings as Caucasian women are. No one race has a monopoly on qualities like beauty, ability to love, and their ability to be caring, compassionate, and good-natured human beings.
Great post!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamboyante
Wow, I'm just amazed at all the negativity in this thread! smh
OP- One thing's for sure, this sort of thinking is more common here in the states than in any other country. I have family members who are married to European white guys and I very much doubt that they share the same thinking lol.
When I travelled to Europe last year to visit them, I was just amazed at all the the White man/Black women couples on the streets!
On the other hand, you have to take into account the U.S. history between blacks and whites-slavery, segregation and all the stereotypes of white American men about African American, and vice versa. At least that's how I understand the reticence from both races, as far as not feeling 100% comfortable with being seeing with each other.
Though that's a shame. My little nieces are the cutest!
Also, I'm sure both races are attracted to each other, but white men will usually never admit it or even approach black women because of the country's history and stereotypes- I think?
But what do I know?
Just my 0.02 cents.
I agree with you. Many people say, "Oh it's 2013 now, who cares what others think!" But unfortunately, many people do STILL care what others think & how they look towards others. Many white & other non-Black men may never admit it, but they don't want to be seen holding hands with a Black woman for everyone to see. Maybe if they were on vacation &/or no one knew them &/or they were in a living situation that was just temporary, they might try dating a Black woman. But then, when they're back to their "real world", it's back to normal with no one knowing what they did.
I cannot answer for the status obsessed but if I met a woman and loved her enough to share our lives, her race, ethnicity and background would be completely irrelevant. I would do as we wanted and friends, family and, most especially, society would be ignored. Fortunately my friends would be happy for us, my family, as racest a bunch as imaginable, is dead and society is still irrelevant.
A man that would give up his beloved because he is afraid of what other people think is not worth the woman's consideration.
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I feel sad for people who are fearful of bringing over a loved one from a different race because their family voiced certain opinions in the past... and even more for people who actually hold those kind of opinions. The world already has enough problems, why add to it?
I personally can't see myself sitting here and saying I'm not attracted to Indian men or Black men, for example. There are just way too many people (and differences within those people) in this world to make that kind of blanket assertion. But people have a right to their preferences. Though I do sometimes wonder if people really understand what a 'preference' means, compared to just complete outright exclusion. A preference would be more along the lines of me saying that I like apples and oranges, but I prefer apples - meaning that I'm not totally opposed and will eat oranges if the opportunity arises. On the opposite end, a true preference is not so much that I like apples and absolutely won't eat oranges (no matter what kind) at all. Bit of a difference. 
