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When I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer at age 23, I created a living will where I stipulated DNR and my strong, though as yet not legal, desires for death with dignity if my treatment went south and the pain was too much. Along with my doctor and social worker, I stipulated clearly what would be grounds for pulling the plug, as well as - in an ideal world - when and what would be the criteria for physician-assisted suicide. The closest state to me that allows this option is Vermont. It bothers me to no end that if I ended my suffering even a day before my body chose to let go, my life insurance would be void and I'd leave my friends and family with even more suffering. That's cruel.
I've lived through pain like you would not believe as a result of my cancer - things that no medication could even touch. But for me, I knew all along that those bouts of pain were temporary. It never got to the point where I had to even consider that living will because treatment was effective. I could *not* have lived for any length of time in that pain. That doesn't make me a coward, and anyone who thinks otherwise is projecting.
If you want to stay alive, even if you are in pain, nonresponsive, or no longer the person you once were - that's fine and you are welcome to it. That's not what I or millions of other people want. I don't want to cause that burden on myself, my loved ones, or society - especially a society that could barely offer me any help when I was going through my own life threatening illness because there was no money available. Personally, I would never be OK with heroics that would only prolong my life and suffering by a few months knowing how many people could use those resources. But that's just me and I'd never force that opinion or choice on anyone else.
Everyone should have a living will. Everyone. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow whether you're 23 or 93. Many of your concerns could be addressed in a modified living will.
Right you are, thank you, and way to hang in there...
I really don't know who is arguing that anyone has the right to decide these things for anyone else, except as may be necessary and with power-of-attorney and all that. Hard to understand these comments and/or those questions when obviously we don't want anyone making these decisions for us anymore than we want someone telling us how many kids to have (or not have), or who we can marry.
The laws that apply in these very personal cases, all of them, should be such that we are free to decide as we see fit within the obvious parameters of sound reason, logic and ability.
To that end, I'm not sure how sound the reason or logic may be that prevents the end of my father's life now that his life is essentially hardly anything more than breathing, eating, sleeping and drooling, maybe the law(s) help him and us get to the end of his life as natural forces will dictate rather than any of the rest of us having to decide. Thing is, however, my father would be long gone by now if he were living in a different era when medicine and care and treatments were far less prolonging. So even nature isn't really allowed to take its natural course anymore...
This comment?.............(which is not a comment.. or comments. They are all questions) questions one would have to be thought through, before deciding who kills you, if your not going to do it yourself.
..............., but who decides it is time to go?
Or this comment?
You? Doctor? Medicare? Insurance company?
Or this comment?
What if I decided in an hour for you, it was your time to go?
Or this comment?
How about your kid, who is a drug addict deciding and sees dollar signs from your assets?
Again, "best I can make of the question, there is no one answer..."
As usual, I am confused by this comment, and when no argument is followed by a "but," there is typically argument after all. However, best I can make of the question, there is no one answer...
Since each case is likely to have its own unique set of circumstances, like those I am dealing with right now concerning my father, who decides what is something of a complicated process, involving his wife, his daughters, care-takers, doctors, the facility rules and regulations, local, state and federal laws, and me.
Bottom line, I just wish there were a way my father could be formally assessed with Alzheimer's so as to confirm his quality of life is no longer of any real quality at all, not worth living, and have a manner to allow him to pass along with doctor's assistance, legally and painlessly. Unfortunately, that's not even close to possible under the circumstances.
The worst person in the world does not deserve dementia. It's a terrible, terrible thing.
And you're right. All the Death With Dignity laws that have been enacted deal only with people who are still legally competent and are looking at their last few months.
I don't think that the general public is ready yet for someone else to make the decision that a patient has no quality of life left and should be actively administered a lethal dose. Witness the outcry about "death panels". So we make do with living wills and Advance Directives and hope for pneumonia, which is still the old person's best friend.
Again, "best I can make of the question, there is no one answer..."
Maybe I should have written "questions."
No answer? You perfectly described a death panel as your wishes.
I would only hope it would be my choice when to prematurely die.
Give me medical power of attorney over you and I can be sure we are planting you next week.
The worst person in the world does not deserve dementia. It's a terrible, terrible thing.
And you're right. All the Death With Dignity laws that have been enacted deal only with people who are still legally competent and are looking at their last few months.
I don't think that the general public is ready yet for someone else to make the decision that a patient has no quality of life left and should be actively administered a lethal dose. Witness the outcry about "death panels". So we make do with living wills and Advance Directives and hope for pneumonia, which is still the old person's best friend.
I hope your family finds peace soon.
Thanks. Never really thought of pneumonia in that light before, but no doubt you are right...
No answer? You perfectly described a death panel as your wishes.
I would only hope it would be my choice when to prematurely die.
Give me medical power of attorney over you and I can be sure we are planting you next week.
Thanks for your offer as well, but when it comes to assigning power-of-attorney in the case of my welfare, I would want it assigned to someone who can think their way out of a paper bag and isn't trigger happy.
Thanks for your offer as well, but when it comes to assigning power-of-attorney in the case of my welfare, I would want it assigned to someone who can think their way out of a paper bag and isn't trigger happy.
You better pray to what ever god or not god you believe in, that even if you have a DNR, they ask you if you want to live and not take it upon themselves to get the burden off them.
While this thread was heading into extinction; I just read this article: Elderly Floridian cannot afford medicine, kills suffering wife | Reuters. It points out one little byproduct of not havening realistic euthanasia laws for out elderly. William J. Hager, 86, shot his wife in the head as she slept. He claimed that they could not afford the expensive medication to keep his wife pain comfortable. He did state that his wife said that she wanted to die; but had not asked him to kill her.
So this is the dilemma that we place on our elderly; watch your loved ones suffer or throw your life away doing the right thing. No one should be in this position.
BentBow, I am happy you were able to rescue your dad, and I am grateful for his service.
It's not possible to be awarded the Medal of Honor more than once, though. Before 1917, yes. Since then, no.
I was getting emotional.... and typing too fast.
That was to be "or" instead of "and" when I typed it, or I meant he was in both conflicts and got a MoH....
I had no clue he was awarded it, until I was having his headstone made and got out his DD-214.
He served in both Korea and Vietnam. MoH No one is left alive to tell me how he got it.
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