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Old 06-26-2017, 02:56 PM
 
Location: On the Beach
4,139 posts, read 4,525,447 times
Reputation: 10317

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AFP View Post
OP it's quite possible some nursing homes will go out of business and then what happens to the residents of these places? Quite a few years ago I worked in that industry and I can tell you that many of those families won't take care of their elderly family members. To be quite frank many Americans are extremely selfish and heartless when dealing with their elderly parents that's my two sense, Oh but they sure like to pay lip service to make themselves look compassionate.
Easy to say until you have done it. I had my dad live with us for 2 years after his stroke. Even with in home aides coming in a few hours each day, our lives revolved around caring for my dad. He could not be left alone since he is wheelchair bound and totally dependent on others to use the bathroom or do much of anything. For 2 years either my spouse or I always had to be st home, except for the 4 hours a day we had an aide. Try living like that for a few years and see how your life and your family's life is effected. I placed my dad in assisted living rather than getting a divorce. Three years later and the money is running out. I hate the idea of a Medicaid funded nursing home but I now understand neither me or my siblings are able to provide the care he needs in our homes. My sister went through a similar ordeal with my aunt who suffers from dementia. You can only care for someone with these severe disabilities for so long. People are living much longer, with more disabilities these days. Both my dad and aunt are 93. Both have required constant supervision for 4 -5 years now and, I would not be surprised if they both live a few more years. If people are willing to provide 24 hour care in their homes for their disabled pRents, they deserve my admiration. Two yesrs was my limit. No regrets.
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Old 06-26-2017, 02:59 PM
 
2,333 posts, read 1,487,836 times
Reputation: 922
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seacove View Post
Exactly right. My friend that has a mother with dementia has a family member living her now but it's very hard and they are finding as the dementia gets worse, this member is struggling. She won't leave the house, will refuse to eat, won't let repairmen in the house, doesn't even recognize her own children. They fear a nursing home will be too hard on her but also know at some point, they may not be able to handle her. There are stairs in the house, it needs repairs, Ensure is not a meal, etc. It's not that they don't "want to" either, but as her dementia escalates, she becomes increasingly difficult, especially for an emotional and heartbroken family member. This is just one case and multiply that by millions.
I experienced this exact situation with a family member too. It's incredible how common this is (3 people already in this thread mentioned it) and also how unbelievable it is until you experience it. As baby boomers continue to age I hope this will at least open more eyes to the real issues here. This isn't some liberal fantasy... it happens to a lot of people.
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Old 06-26-2017, 03:01 PM
 
51,651 posts, read 25,790,245 times
Reputation: 37884
Quote:
Originally Posted by nurider2002 View Post
Easy to say until you have done it. I had my dad live with us for 2 years after his stroke. Even with in home aides coming in a few hours each day, our lives revolved around caring for my dad. He could not be left alone since he is wheelchair bound and totally dependent on others to use the bathroom or do much of anything. For 2 years either my spouse or I always had to be st home, except for the 4 hours a day we had an aide. Try living like that for a few years and see how your life and your family's life is effected. I placed my dad in assisted living rather than getting a divorce. Three years later and the money is running out. I hate the idea of a Medicaid funded nursing home but I now understand neither me or my siblings are able to provide the care he needs in our homes. My sister went through a similar ordeal with my aunt who suffers from dementia. You can only care for someone with these severe disabilities for so long. People are living much longer, with more disabilities these days. Both my dad and aunt are 93. Both have required constant supervision for 4 -5 years now and, I would not be surprised if they both live a few more years. If people are willing to provide 24 hour care in their homes for their disabled pRents, they deserve my admiration. Two yesrs was my limit. No regrets.
Been there. Done that. Lived to tell the tale. Barely.

It's exhausting and unrealistic to expect that the elderly can all be cared for by family. Many try it for a few years. But it is not easy.

Also, it means the elder lives an isolated life, away from peers who they can laugh with.

It's such a difficult decision to make, but impossible life to live.
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Old 06-26-2017, 03:02 PM
 
21,989 posts, read 15,702,895 times
Reputation: 12943
Quote:
Originally Posted by BicoastalAnn View Post
I experienced this exact situation with a family member too. It's incredible how common this is (3 people already in this thread mentioned it) and also how unbelievable it is until you experience it. As baby boomers continue to age I hope this will at least open more eyes to the real issues here. This isn't some liberal fantasy... it happens to a lot of people.
It's hard for me to imagine. I knew their mother, she was a nurse. I cannot even imagine what they are describing. That she wouldn't recognize me now is impossible to comprehend. She thinks her own children are intruders and will react as such.
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Old 06-26-2017, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Southern California
29,267 posts, read 16,728,168 times
Reputation: 18904
I can see it all now...parades of wheelchairs up and down the streets, some trying to cross streets and many bumping into each other.

I just spent 4.5 months in rehabs for a health mess and it was like a wheelchair traffic jam.

I didn't read this whole thread but I can't imagine taking care of someone and my daughter lives in fear of my end years and her help needed. She has enough on her
plate with her own health and we have no one else.

People are living too long or just propped up or we NEED to stop spending Mega Bucks on defense to kill and spend more to help our own right here.
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Old 06-26-2017, 03:16 PM
 
16,376 posts, read 22,473,858 times
Reputation: 14398
Quote:
Originally Posted by GotHereQuickAsICould View Post
Been there. Done that. Lived to tell the tale. Barely.

It's exhausting and unrealistic to expect that the elderly can all be cared for by family. Many try it for a few years. But it is not easy.

Also, it means the elder lives an isolated life, away from peers who they can laugh with.

It's such a difficult decision to make, but impossible life to live.
There is an active thread here, on the caregiving C-D forum. A poster's husband was an attorney and got a traumatic brain injury was was no longer able to work due to the brain injury. This impacted their household finances since he could no longer work. He then got dementia. She cared for him and and eventually had to stop working too because he required a full time caregiver and the spouse was the caregiver, 24x7.

Fast forward and she was diagnosed with cancer and had to have surgery and chemo and could no longer care for him 24x7 because of her illness and her need to be hospitalized. She had to place him into assisted living type of facility or maybe nursing home (I don't recall which). Regardless, they used up all their life savings caring for him(and cut their life earnings short due to having to stop working due to the illness) and they had to go on Medicaid to cover the remaining cost for his nursing home after their life savings was spent on care.

She wanted to continue to care for him at home but was unable due so due to her own cancer treatment.

Last edited by sware2cod; 06-26-2017 at 03:27 PM..
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Old 06-26-2017, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Living rent free in your head
42,838 posts, read 26,236,305 times
Reputation: 34038
Quote:
Originally Posted by personne View Post
I hope it is a joke, and a bad one. That I can understand. We all make bad jokes and misunderstood ones. Otherwise, and if not, how do you DARE, sir, how do you?
Do you have millions in the bank to ensure that if you live till 120, you'll take care of yourself? 100.000$ a year, without inflation?
One of my Great Aunts went into a nursing home at 90, before she was hospitalized she had sold her home for 600k and she had another 250-300k in the bank. She had a private room in a very nice nursing home for the first 8 or 9 years, it provided all kinds of extras, field trips, wine with dinner etc. Then she ran out of money and had to go on medicaid, the next day she was moved into a 4 bed ward with three ladies who screamed day and night, she was lucky if they would bring her water to drink forget the wine. If you think this can't happen to you, you are a fool.

And all this BS about having to 'reform medicaid' is just conservative speak for screw the poor and the elderly. Paul Ryan admitted he's been dreaming about this since he was in college
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Old 06-26-2017, 03:29 PM
AFP
 
7,412 posts, read 6,889,678 times
Reputation: 6632
Quote:
Originally Posted by nurider2002;48637063[B
]Easy to say until you have done it. I had my dad live with us for 2 years after his stroke.[/b] Even with in home aides coming in a few hours each day, our lives revolved around caring for my dad. He could not be left alone since he is wheelchair bound and totally dependent on others to use the bathroom or do much of anything. For 2 years either my spouse or I always had to be st home, except for the 4 hours a day we had an aide. Try living like that for a few years and see how your life and your family's life is effected. I placed my dad in assisted living rather than getting a divorce. Three years later and the money is running out. I hate the idea of a Medicaid funded nursing home but I now understand neither me or my siblings are able to provide the care he needs in our homes. My sister went through a similar ordeal with my aunt who suffers from dementia. You can only care for someone with these severe disabilities for so long. People are living much longer, with more disabilities these days. Both my dad and aunt are 93. Both have required constant supervision for 4 -5 years now and, I would not be surprised if they both live a few more years. If people are willing to provide 24 hour care in their homes for their disabled pRents, they deserve my admiration. Two yesrs was my limit. No regrets.
No it isn't easy I had a grandmother that had a stroke when I was 21 I moved home with my parents and we took turns around the clock taking care of her after she had a stroke at age 93 we did it three years taking shifts every two hours during the night to turn her to prevent bed sores. It isn't easy changing your loved one's diapers and providing total care. No vacations no days off and I did it while attending college and working a full time job. I wouldn't trade those three years for anything but many people just can't do it. We never considered placing her in a home but I can understand why some individuals just can't do it.
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Old 06-26-2017, 03:41 PM
 
2,630 posts, read 1,454,160 times
Reputation: 3595
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
Due to Obama care my insurance costs have gone from $450 to $1080 a month in just 4 years. It's killing us self employed and many can no longer afford it. It was designed to fail and Dems also have had 8 years to fix it.

What plan have they come up with to rescue their program? Zilch. They just figured Hillary would win and we'd all be forced to single payer.

ACA was designed to fail and it's failing. If anyone does nothing it will fail within the next 2 years.
Premiums will increase under Trumpcare. You can't keep all the nice things from ACA and allow the young and healthy to opt out.
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Old 06-26-2017, 03:56 PM
 
11,523 posts, read 14,646,108 times
Reputation: 16821
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2sleepy View Post
One of my Great Aunts went into a nursing home at 90, before she was hospitalized she had sold her home for 600k and she had another 250-300k in the bank. She had a private room in a very nice nursing home for the first 8 or 9 years, it provided all kinds of extras, field trips, wine with dinner etc. Then she ran out of money and had to go on medicaid, the next day she was moved into a 4 bed ward with three ladies who screamed day and night, she was lucky if they would bring her water to drink forget the wine. If you think this can't happen to you, you are a fool.

And all this BS about having to 'reform medicaid' is just conservative speak for screw the poor and the elderly. Paul Ryan admitted he's been dreaming about this since he was in college
Right. Reforming Medicaid. What a joke. And, anyone can end up on it for sure! I love how Mitch McConnell said that Obama Care was "a direct 'attack' on the Middle Class." Ha. That's a good one. Most bankruptcies, forget the percentage, result from Medical bills. Wake up People, it can happen to anyone, even Republicans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBY_P0qGA0I
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