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But this is a thread about child support for a child a man did not create. When you say "keep it zipped if you're not ready to pay for a child" in that context it looks like your saying a man should keep it zipped if he doesn't want to pay for another man's child.
Actually, she was saying that if he'd never had sex with this woman, he would not have thought he was the father and would never have agreed to child support.
Which is true.
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And every single divorced father I know religiously pays their child support fees but have to struggle to get the "visitation" they are supposedly allowed to have.
We've all got our anecdotes, and they often contradict each other.
Maybe in a split 50/50 custody situation these fathers you know of might feel more invested in their children's' futures?
"You'll never see your children again...now send me my money!" might not be the best incentive.
My ex has never paid a dime in child support except for the first 2 months we were separated before he got a lawyer who convinced him that I should pay him (I don't pay him, he only has the kids every other weekend).
He was really bummed out to find out that I wasn't going to give him every cent he needed to spend weekends with the kids. Which is hilarious because, while he's not a high earner, he lives completely free of any sort of rent, mortgage, or utility bills.
I have never denied him the right to see the kids, though. It's not their fault he's a slackass.
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"I do not disagree. I mentioned men specifically because there's a man in this story that doesn't want to pay child support for a child that isn't his."
Yes I've seen the arguments for both sides but without the bolded you are not giving an accurate summary of the situation. Start with your sentence but with the bolded included and then give your reason why he should or shouldn't have to pay it after that.
I don't think men should have to pay child support for kids that aren't theirs, but if she thought the child was his and he agreed to pay child support, whose fault is it?
I'm big on personal responsibility and this guy missed the mark.
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Ahh yes my ex use to tell all our mutual friends that he was "up to date" on his child support payments as well. I use to post his arrears account monthly on social media. Our friends were shocked when it reached the level of money that one could purchase a brand new car. The proof was right there.
And my friends' exes all claimed they gave access to the children whenever the fathers wanted, but it was never the case. Funny how that works.
I don't think men should have to pay child support for kids that aren't theirs, but if she thought the child was his and he agreed to pay child support, whose fault is it?
I'm big on personal responsibility and this guy missed the mark.
And that sums this issue up. He should have questioned paternity on day one. Not years later.
This particular gentleman should not have agreed to pay child support for x amount of year, then decide to question paternity. He had already established responsibility in the courts eyes.
I don't see any evidence that he agreed to pay child support.
I don't think men should have to pay child support for kids that aren't theirs, but if she thought the child was his and he agreed to pay child support, whose fault is it?
I'm big on personal responsibility and this guy missed the mark.
If she told him the child was his, it's absolutely her fault and not his.
Not to mention that any contract entered into under false pretenses is automatically null and void.
It is now possible for a man who has doubts to find out for sure whether he's a child's father. Something should exist in law to allow such a deceived man to continue a relationship with the child while not having any financial responsibility for a kid that isn't his. I think the bold does not contradict the idea of "best interest of a child." I think the law should give a deceived man some options.
I would also support some kind of penalty for a woman who does this terrible thing. It seems like malicious fraud to me.
And that sums this issue up. He should have questioned paternity on day one. Not years later.
Did they ever live together? He said he first saw his daughter when she was 16. There apparently is no return of service for the subpoena the court said they served. The only evidence they have that he failed to contest three $31 support payments, and I'm not sure if he knew what the deductions were for.
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