Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Frankly, I’ve never noticed East Asians being anymore domineering than any other group.
That said, I think the best way to handle people like that is to give them a taste of their own medicine. Don’t shrink when confronted by such people. I for one, don’t mind dealing with domineering types. I just raise my voice at them when speaking and act similarly aggressive. Works every time.
In my experience, just calling them right out works for me. There's a guy at work in marketing who is notorious for being really domineering and borderline abusive with my department, to the point that my co-workers warned me the first time he requested to speak to me about something.
Well, I had a meeting with him, and the very second he started to raise his voice, I stopped him right there and told him that I would get up and leave right then and there if he didn't get a grip and communicate calmly. He immediately looked stunned and sheepishly apologized, saying something about his marital issues or whatnot. Then he resumed with the discussion in a much more appropriate manner.
I've never had an issue with him since, though he still carries those tendencies with my co-workers, because they're too afraid to take the reins when need be.
Sometimes bullies don't even see themselves that way, and just need to be put into check. Race or gender wasn't relevant in this case, as I think my male mostly South Asian colleagues would have similar results, but he was a burly middle aged white guy, and I'm a multiracial 20something woman.
Last edited by ohhwanderlust; 12-29-2017 at 06:18 PM..
Frankly, I’ve never noticed East Asians being anymore domineering than any other group.
That said, I think the best way to handle people like that is to give them a taste of their own medicine. Don’t shrink when confronted by such people. I for one, don’t mind dealing with domineering types. I just raise my voice at them when speaking and act similarly aggressive. Works every time.
you don't even have to raise your voice. just prove that you are right or it is not within your pay grade or just stand your ground whenever you are right.
sometimes, being dominant is just a ruse for insecurities or incompetence
doesn't hurt to pay politics too.
or be talkative. that's the American strength. talk your way out (be it incompetence or whatever)
Yet they come from nations that are a dump. What role does IQ play in Cambodia, Myanmar, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, or Syria? They’re all Asians.
Explain, since you planted your foot in your mouth?
Those nations are dumps because of politics and mainstream cultural attitude, not the lack of talents.
Before the communists took over our home country, my father was a college professor and my mom was a school teacher. After they took over, my father was "assigned" as a manual laborer and my mom was "assigned" as a sweat shop worker. My brother had to remove shells off of cocktail shrimps and my sister worked in a clothing sweat shop.
My family applied to legally come to this country. It took 10 years for the application to go through. Over here, my brother is a project manager leading projects worth hundreds of millions of dollars. My sister is also a project manager leading a team of electronic engineers designing microchips. I am nowadays a team lead engineer. I also own a business and rental properties. Had my family not been able to immigrate here, I'm sure my fate was going to be another laborer.
So, believe me, those countries absolutely do not lack talents. They just lack the political and societal attitude to value talents.
Those nations are dumps because of politics and mainstream cultural attitude, not the lack of talents.
Before the communists took over our home country, my father was a college professor and my mom was a school teacher. After they took over, my father was "assigned" as a manual laborer and my mom was "assigned" as a sweat shop worker. My brother had to remove shells off of cocktail shrimps and my sister worked in a clothing sweat shop.
My family applied to legally come to this country. It took 10 years for the application to go through. Over here, my brother is a project manager leading projects worth hundreds of millions of dollars. My sister is also a project manager leading a team of electronic engineers designing microchips. I am nowadays a team lead engineer. I also own a business and rental properties. Had my family not been able to immigrate here, I'm sure my fate was going to be another laborer.
So, believe me, those countries absolutely do not lack talents. They just lack the political and societal attitude to value talents.
I get it, but at the same time, I’m told that their cultures and IQ’a are why they succeed here. Well, assuming that everyone in the old country had that culture and IQ, why aren’t those nations indicative of that? If they’re smarter than whites, why is Norway far more successful as a nation than India or Bangladesh?
Moreover, when Africa is brought up, these same alt right types that exalt Asians don’t blame African nation’s failures on corruption...they say that the people have no talents and low IQ’s.
In any case, I find it admirable when anyone comes here and succeeds. I don’t care what group they belong to.
I get it, but at the same time, I’m told that their cultures and IQ’a are why they succeed here. Well, assuming that everyone in the old country had that culture and IQ, why aren’t those nations indicative of that? If they’re smarter than whites, why is Norway far more successful as a nation than India or Bangladesh?
Moreover, when Africa is brought up, these same alt right types that exalt Asians don’t blame African nation’s failures on corruption...they say that the people have no talents and low IQ’s.
In any case, I find it admirable when anyone comes here and succeeds. I don’t care what group they belong to.
I'm going to say something that will make both conservatives and liberals hate me.
The immigration process from East Asia for many years essentially made itself a merit-based system without actually calling it a merit-based system.
My parents tell me the application itself had hundreds of questions that were essentially knowledge-based. Since my parents were both educated and were willing to do what it took to get the hell out of that hell-hole, they jumped through all the appropriate loops.
When I was young, I remember going with my entire family to these "interviews". I don't know what they asked my siblings and parents, but they made me do math and asked me lots of questions.
We also had to take physical exams by doctors to make sure we were healthy individuals who did not carry any disease.
After 10 years of waiting, our application finally went through. We were flown to a camp in Thailand. There, we had more exams, tests, and shots. We were living in that camp for months before we finally boarded a plain and headed for Japan where we boarded another plane and headed for the US.
In other words, East Asians tend to be successful over here because they were selected to be successful among their own population. Trust me, I have seen plenty of dumb Asians in my life. Most of them are dumber than rocks. But the way the immigration process was set up made it possible to filter in a lot of those that were prone to be successful.
One of the first things my family did when we first came to the US was sign up for English and other classes at the local community college. My parents, for example, worked full time jobs and took classes such as injecting molding, computers, etc. When my brother said he wanted to go to college for computer programming, my parents saved and saved and saved to buy him a computer. Back then, a computer cost an arm and a leg, by the way. He is now a project manager for projects worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
After having read all of that, can you understand why someone like me would be irked by people who complain a 2-page application for a job is too long?
Also, the immigration process from other parts of the world, say Mexico, is not anywhere near as selective. Hence, we get high teenage pregnancy rates and food stamps recipients in those communities. It is not a coincidence that birth rate out of wedlock for East Asians is the lowest among all groups in the US. My parents had 1 simple rule for all of us. Be anything we want as long as we have a career, our own house (not rent, actually own), and a savings of at least x-amount before we can have any kid. We all followed that rule to the letter.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
