Dear Red States... (county, socialism, President, liberal)
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Funny. I live in one country called The United States of America. My views may differ from my neighbor's, but I won't make comments full of venom and biting insults at them nor they to me. In my country, The United States of America, there's a word in there: United. If we disagree we vote on the issues. We campaign for the view we hold and give arguments based on logic without slinging insults.
Many would do well to remember that.
I think it is nice when Red and Blue can come together and joke w/ one another vs. fighting.
Great job SuSuSushi!!!! I can't understand why they call them conservatives. Conservative when it comes to denieing healthcare, jobs and helping others here in the US. But yet loving spending tons of money to help Iraq and yet Iraq doesn't give us anything in return. What are they doing the oil $$. At least liberals try to spread it around. Yes, California is a great place. A little too expensive, I tried it. But the divesity alone is a lesson in itself. If more people were exposed to that, maybe we would have less prejudice......
Some political humor for you, just to lighten the mood! A friend sent this to me today, and it gave me a good laugh:
Dear Red States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,
that includes:
California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin,
Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will
be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new
country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of
Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get
WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of
America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get
two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay
their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be
pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens
back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your
evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to
their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show
pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you
success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not
willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the
high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools
plus Stanford, Berkeley, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the
other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese
Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all
U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of
the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100
percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite,
thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44
percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam
was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you
are people with higher morals then we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States
Dear "Blue States",
Hold your horses there. We COUNTIES, which let you states even exist, need to add our 2 cents worth. Most counties in California vote Republican, but some of the counties in California do indeed vote Democrat. That being said, San Luis Opisbo, Orange, Del Norte, Ventura, and San Diego counties (among the majority of others) will be part of the "Red State" Country. We are really excited about this because we get Disneyland back, all those beautiful beaches in La Jolla, San Diego, Newport Beach, etc., the Ducks, the Angels, and a lot of those sequoias you mentioned. Good to see we both can share in those beautiful trees.
You can have Alameda and Los Angeles counties. Crime rate is way to high for our tastes.
No doubt you have a lot of tech businesses headquartered in your new country. We do have AOL and Dell though . Perhaps we can persuade some of those companies to relocate to our vast areas in the Midwest by giving them tons of tax incentives since we feel cutting taxes on corporations is imperative for innovation and employment growth. Who knows?
9 of the 21 counties will also joins us Red-Staters and they include Somerset, Morris, Hunterdon, Monmouth, and Sussex. Luckily for us, these counties include 4 of the top 5 in New Jersey in GDP. Along with these counties, we get more coastline as well.
Speaking of coastline, we get all of Maryland's as well. Oh, and Annapolis is in a Red county as well, so we have the Naval academy. We also have Marine Corps Base Quantico in Virginia, Fort Meade, Vandenburg (CA), NORAD. etc.
As for Washington, I guess we'll have to share the coastline since most counties are "Red". You can thank Seattle for winning the state for you. Anyway, most of the land mass in the contiguous United States is "red", so we will be able to absorb many of your businesses in the blue counties by offering them very big tax incentives. And good luck trying to fly from California to New York. You'll have to go through international airspace and we will have to charge you for this.
I think you get my drift. A more accurate assessment is on the county level and you will see most of the counties in the "blue" states are actually "Red". What helps the dems is the cities (New York, LA, Baltimore, Chicago, Philly, Newark, etc.) vote Democrat. I love most big cities such as New York, but only to visit. You can have the crime and high taxes though.
Nah, it's just random internet humor that got emailed to me. As you can see there's a "Dear Blue States" one too. I think they're funny.
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MMmMMm purple...Now I'm thirsty for grape juice.
. Perhaps we can persuade some of those companies to relocate to our vast areas in the Midwest by giving them tons of tax incentives since we feel cutting taxes on corporations is imperative for innovation and employment growth. Who knows?
