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Old 05-23-2012, 10:49 PM
 
900 posts, read 853,539 times
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Default why do people cry when others are nice to them?

Hope I've got this in the right forum.
I cry (thank God this happened over text) when Im having a hard time and someone is nice or understanding to me. Also , Im not great with compliments , but I do the right thing and just say "thank you" when given one. Though my natural inclination is to not want to do what ever I was complimented on well anymore. Anyone explain this?
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Old 05-23-2012, 11:44 PM
 
Location: under a rock
1,496 posts, read 737,365 times
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We're emotional beings. I cry quite religiously(it's healthy, to a point). Sometimes, it's hard for me to take complements from others, because of my self esteem(not believing in myself). Or I think that the person has ulterior motives(i've been slighted by a few folks in my life, making me question niceties pertaining to me). We sometimes don't want the pressure of what the person is complimenting us on(thinking that we're gonna have to perform to this expectation, each and every time!), so we recede to a more passive role(psychologically shirking it off). Being too self-conscious can also reek havoc on our feelings of self worth(which coincides with self-esteem....do you see yourself as this person complimenting you does?). You should look into 'The Three Principles' by Sydney Banks....it has to do with Mind, Consciousness, and Thought. He says that we create our own realities and it starts with our mind, which creates the phenomena of consciousness, and this consciousness in turn creates thoughts. We're like the movie directors of these thoughts and we have the power to either grasp on to them and project them onto the screen of life; or we can let them pass by and send them to the cutting room floor(vanquishing them from the script). Cheers!
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Old 05-24-2012, 12:02 AM
 
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it sounds like something a person would do who is not used to niceness or compassion, who expects to be treated badly and for things to be hard.
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Old 05-25-2012, 05:18 AM
 
Location: FL
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You're overhwelmed and uncomfortable with the attention. The challenge (without knowing you) is to figure out why.

I think negative experiences from the past and/or some low self esteem that makes you think you aren't deserving of praise.

We all deserve praise for good deeds. I hope you can learn to feel proud when somebody acknowledges your good deeds instead of what you are feeling now.
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Old 05-25-2012, 07:03 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,693 posts, read 18,024,668 times
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I find acts of kindness often more moving than sadness, especially in movies or stories, because sorrow is so cliched.

Case in point, the three times I truly cried during a movie, not just got a bit teary, were during the Disney movie the Fox and the Hound when friendship prevailed in the end, Toy Story 3 when Andy is giving away his toys to the little girl, and City Lights with the scene between the tramp and the blind flower girl at the end. I hear ya, OP, I sometimes feel really touched when someone is nice to me or I make someone really happy. It's normal .

Compliments sometimes make me feel awkward too. They make me feel like I should be modest.
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Old 05-25-2012, 07:24 AM
 
Location: Kenmore, WA
6,837 posts, read 3,401,745 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maddog1 View Post
Hope I've got this in the right forum.
I cry (thank God this happened over text) when Im having a hard time and someone is nice or understanding to me. Also , Im not great with compliments , but I do the right thing and just say "thank you" when given one. Though my natural inclination is to not want to do what ever I was complimented on well anymore. Anyone explain this?
Probably psychology has your scientific answers, but from my experience with difficult times, I hold my feelings in when I am hurting and surrounded by adversity because I don't want to show weakness. When someone shows a kindness, my heart knows it is in the presence of compassion and sheds the held-back tears, to my embarrassment. (BTW: there is nothing wrong with honest tears, from men or women.)

As for no longer wanting to do what you've been complimented upon, I don't have experience with it, but wonder if your opinion of yourself might be lower than is healthy, and you feel like you're positive attributes others have noticed are not really true. If this is the case, I have to think you need to start letting others positive opinions about you sink in to your own self-image.

You are probably much better in many ways than you might think you are, really.
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Old 05-25-2012, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
12,949 posts, read 10,243,359 times
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Quote:
Probably psychology has your scientific answers, but from my experience with difficult times, I hold my feelings in when I am hurting and surrounded by adversity because I don't want to show weakness. When someone shows a kindness, my heart knows it is in the presence of compassion and sheds the held-back tears, to my embarrassment.
I do this, too. A lot of times if I'm having a bad/stressful time and I'm holding it together, if I call my mom to talk about it as soon as I hear her voice the floodgates open. It's like deep down I know it's safe.
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Old 05-25-2012, 09:00 AM
 
14,755 posts, read 14,505,265 times
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Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
I do this, too. A lot of times if I'm having a bad/stressful time and I'm holding it together, if I call my mom to talk about it as soon as I hear her voice the floodgates open. It's like deep down I know it's safe.
Do you cry when a cop pulls you over to issue you a ticket? Just wondering.
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Old 05-25-2012, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
12,949 posts, read 10,243,359 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Do you cry when a cop pulls you over to issue you a ticket? Just wondering.
I've never actually gotten a ticket, but I don't cry in front of other people, especially strangers to be manipulative.
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Old 05-25-2012, 06:08 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,693 posts, read 18,024,668 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Do you cry when a cop pulls you over to issue you a ticket? Just wondering.
Any adult like that, I would treat like a child, because that's something children do, not grown men OR women.
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