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I think self-reliance is an admirable thing, but in the US at least we make too much of self-made men and rugged individualism. The flip side of the concept is that you're not your brother's keeper and you leave everyone else to fend for themselves just because you had to / were able to. Making it alone is not inherently a virtue; sometimes it's just a sad necessity.
So do not neglect learning to trust people who are actually trustworthy, or how to reach out to others or allow them to reach out to you.
Pretty much but it does go deeper. You generally have what I was referring to though.
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Originally Posted by anifani821
I was raised with "sink or swim." Don't know if that is pretty much the same thing you are talking about? Parents made sure kids had a roof over their heads, healthcare, food to eat, religious training . . . but you turn 18 and good luck, figure it out. The folks I grew up around pretty much all had this attitude. You don't "do things" for your kids - they have to learn on their own. It builds character. Pay your way through school, figure out how to live on your own, join the military, get married, but no more help from mom and dad, even in a crisis. If you can't pull it together, you don't move back home, parents don't give kids money, and parents don't "bail the kids out." And you are forever the black sheep if you embarrass or disappoint the family.
I generally agree, but I would never willfully use someone to pull myself up by the bootstraps. That goes against my fundamental sense of ethics. I am sure I did not due that willfully. The most that I ever said was please hire me, please hire me now!
If that falls into this category, then you are by definition correct.
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Originally Posted by jtur88
Any person who believes that he has pulled himself up by the bootstraps has actually prospered by taking advantage of people who were unwilling or unaware that they were helping him. But he was still gaining rungs on the ladder by stepping on other people or holding onto their coat-tails or hiding behind their skirts.
I'm getting better at pulling myself up by my bootstraps. While no man is an island, I do feel that we have to a lot of the work of recovery for ourselves and I'm learning to do that in certain areas of my life.
I think self-reliance is an admirable thing, but in the US at least we make too much of self-made men and rugged individualism. The flip side of the concept is that you're not your brother's keeper and you leave everyone else to fend for themselves just because you had to / were able to. Making it alone is not inherently a virtue; sometimes it's just a sad necessity.
So do not neglect learning to trust people who are actually trustworthy, or how to reach out to others or allow them to reach out to you.
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