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Old 05-13-2013, 08:49 AM
 
2,612 posts, read 4,587,648 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_fox13 View Post
My kid is 11 and lives with his dad. I don't have to do a lot of work. What upsets me is being forced into motherhood and observation of how mothers are treated. How quality of your life sinks as soon as you have a kid. How opportunities and doors close. How I missed out on getting my PhD and travels... Etc.... I don't think it is worth it.
That is not the case for many people. I traveled all over and got a PhD and was basically unhappy until I finally got married and had a child. Now I can't really go anywhere, but I am still much happier than before. Of course, nothing was forced on me. If your son is already 11 and doesn't even live with you, then you need to stop using that as an excuse and move on with your life. Nothing is stopping you now.

 
Old 05-13-2013, 08:52 AM
 
2,612 posts, read 4,587,648 times
Reputation: 3937
Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_fox13 View Post
Yeah, that is the WAY to do it. I wanted everything to be sort of natural, not forced and with the right man. You are lucky!
I do adore my kid, he is the coolest 11 y.o. out there. Not needy, he is already learning the work ethic. It is just the fact that men these days view women who had kids as they have less value and normally the mothers have to take most of the crap. Just the obervation itself make me hate the idea of giving life. Let alone giving is so unapreciated these days...
This is weird and makes no sense. Your perception is in your head, no one else's. I think you need some counseling or medication - see a professional.
 
Old 05-13-2013, 09:16 AM
 
Location: USA
7,778 posts, read 9,608,567 times
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Postpartum depression can last indefinitely, so lasting for years can happen, especially untreated.
 
Old 05-13-2013, 11:05 AM
 
9,863 posts, read 8,981,318 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_fox13 View Post
My kid is 11 and lives with his dad.

You never replied regarding the custody and child support of your son. Does the father have full custody and are you paying child support?
 
Old 05-13-2013, 11:08 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 37,802,296 times
Reputation: 61840
Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_fox13 View Post
My kid is 11 and lives with his dad. I don't have to do a lot of work. What upsets me is being forced into motherhood and observation of how mothers are treated. How quality of your life sinks as soon as you have a kid. How opportunities and doors close. How I missed out on getting my PhD and travels... Etc.... I don't think it is worth it.

It isn't your child's fault you did not get the PhD or Travel. My Son in law got his PhD and had two babies born during that time and one with a medical condition that involved major surgery to correct and he still got his PhD in the timeframe he was supposed to without delay.

So, do NOT BLAME a CHILD for YOUR CHOICES to not pursue what you wanted to, it is YOUR FAULT not theirs.
 
Old 05-13-2013, 11:37 AM
 
25,455 posts, read 23,273,196 times
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I'm sorry and don't mean to hurt your feeling, however, being a mother to me was the greatest gift...from birth right up until this very day. It is not always easy being a mother, but you learn pretty quick, that that child, that precious bundle of joy, comes first from the day he/she is born....but, honestly motherhood was a gift...and my son was such a joy to raise...? I just find it difficult relating to your feelings....what kind of abuse did you have to take raising a child?
 
Old 05-13-2013, 11:38 AM
 
449 posts, read 703,525 times
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If you google "I hate being a mom" you'll get many articles , blogs and comments that discuss exactly what you're feeling.
 
Old 05-13-2013, 11:48 AM
 
1,783 posts, read 2,529,253 times
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If you have one baby, wait one month, have another baby -- they can be 10 months apart.

I had a baby, waited 7 months, got pregnant again. No problems. My first two are 16 months apart.

No problems with pregnancies at all. No post-partum depression. No supplements (other than the vitamins and minerals the MD prescribed).
 
Old 05-13-2013, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Montreal, Quebec
15,087 posts, read 11,519,930 times
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The New Vogue of Hating Motherhood

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ing-motherhood
 
Old 05-13-2013, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,062,995 times
Reputation: 18141
I don't think it is normal to hate motherhood. Gosh, I hope the OP never states that to others who might pass that on to the child. Imagine hearing that your mother hated motherhood. I am guessing that the husband left the wife for whatever reason and took the son out of the house, good thing considering the mother's feelings about being a mother. Now, the mother is alone and filled with regrets about how she has ended up and now playing "what if" which really gets one nothing at all. Obviously, OP needs counseling to deal with the divorce and her personal feelings of inadequacy which is being blamed on a forced marriage and forced pregnancy. Seriously, what is hating motherhood if not hating being a mother?
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