Are Loners Really Discriminated Against? (introvert, college, problems, relationship)
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Location: West Los Angeles and Rancho Palos Verdes
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In a previous thread somebody stated that loners are discriminated against. I was wondering if anybody has examples of this occurring and with a fair amount of detail would describe what exactly occurred?
I'll bite. I am because as I have gotten older, mid 40's I am less of an extrovert, and that hurts me in outside sales. I am good at my job, but not interested in happy hour and gaming parties after work. I actually got crap from my boss for not wanting to go to happy hour for a team building event. I don't drink but a handful of times per year, and am not interested in hanging out and binge drinking after working and then driving home drunk. Great idea, for a job which requires a clean driving record.
I'm a loner, albeit not a recluse. I do get out and meet up with various people; however my 'circle of friends' is just a few gals. I have always preferred to be in a small group setting vs. large group settings.
When I was working, it was a very strange situation because when I interviewed for a position (it was to transfer to a different dept within the company), the hiring manager asked if I were friendly with other secretaries (did I go to lunch with them, or meet up with them after work). When I replied that I did not, she was glad to hear it and said my position would involve handling highly confidential material and she preferred to hire someone who pretty much kept to themselves.
Now, here's is the kicker: she did hire me, but after a few years she began to berate me for not being more social and for not being a joiner! Talk about a no-win situation! I reminded her of our conversation during the interview and she just gave me the deer-in-the-headlight.
Now that I'm retired (THANKFULLY!!), I can truly be myself!
Yes. People who have never been in relationships, never had sex, don't have friends, etc. are often discriminated against by people who wonder what's wrong with them. Also every time I hear about another mass murderer, the media goes out of the way to highlight their social problems and make genuinely introverted, shy, or loners all look bad. Websites like Facebook don't help either with their friending, unfriending, friend-count, invitations, games geared toward those with a lot of friends, etc.
Yes. People who have never been in relationships, never had sex, don't have friends, etc. are often discriminated against by people who wonder what's wrong with them. Also every time I hear about another mass murderer, the media goes out of the way to highlight their social problems and make genuinely introverted, shy, or loners all look bad. Websites like Facebook don't help either with their friending, unfriending, friend-count, invitations, games geared toward those with a lot of friends, etc.
I hate this! Especially being a guy. I think in overall society the attitude toward genuinely introverted, shy, and loner-type people must be having a very negative effect. It sucks to be shy or whatever, but then you could have people thinking you're some creep or like one of the lunatics who do the mass murders...just because you're shy, nervous, seem aloof, or whatever. I feel sorry for shy people, especially guys, on college campuses, especially if they have a nervous disposition.
As a loner, I'm the one discriminating against society. I think it's mostly dysfunctional and I won't stand for it. Society would like to get with me but it's not good enough for this person. Society wishes it could be as intellectually perceptive and content as me but it just refuses to listen. So I'm not surprised society is a very unhappy place for people in proportion to their participation in it.
Last edited by Shankapotomus; 05-27-2013 at 09:22 AM..
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