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I have a grandson who is 2 years old, and his parents don't plan on having any other kids. He doesn't even have cousins anywhere near his age, just a couple who are much older. Neither families have many relatives, and none who are close, distance wise or emotionally. I was wondering if someone else is in this situation? If so, were you lonely as a child, not having any siblings to share your lives joys, ups and downs, holidays, with, or were you OK with it? What about as you got older, in your teens and older? I worry that he won't have any contact with anyone related to him when he's older, no family to speak of.
Until recently, I practically pleaded with my daughter to have another child because I am so worried about this, and because both of us grandmothers would love for them to have another one. Hopefully, a girl, but it really wouldn't matter, I would rest easier knowing my grandson had family close to him later. I know, something could happen to one of them, and the other would still be alone. Anyway, I quit talking to her about it because I'm more concerned now about the state of our country. From what I read and hear on the news, the future doesn't look good for our young children. I'm concerned about the world they will be growing up in.
So, if you are an adult only child, with hardly any relatives, are you happy or sad about your familial situation?
I was an only child my entire life on my mother's side, and had a younger brother at 8 on my dad's but didn't see him much, and when I was 15 the first of my three youngest siblings were born. I lived with everyday.
So I have the somewhat unique perspective of having had both siblings and none in the same family.
Really, it made no difference. I was always told as a child that I was more mature than most kids and spoke like an adult. I suspect that is from the fact I didn't have any siblings and most spoke to adults. I was never lonely, or bored, or whatever. It was a none issue. That being said, my younger brother and I are very close, and having a close sibling relationship is a unique one in the world. But just having a sibling does not guarantee that relationship at all. His full sister (my half) is only a year and a half older than him. They experienced everything together, but they cannot stand each other and almost never speak except at family functions. So just having another child does nothing to guarantee that sibling relationship will happen anyway.
BTW, the most telling thing of all, if probably that I chose, deliberately, to have only one child myself. She has close family relatives her own age, but has never bemoaned the lack of siblings. Quite the opposite, by the time she was 4 she was telling us how much she didn't want any siblings.
I taught English at a Chinese university in 2011 where most of my students had no siblings. Although a number of them expressed that they would have preferred a siblings, there were quite a few others that were quite happy to be only children and not to have share their parents with other siblings as they got all of their parents' attention. So I think it really depends on the character of the child/person whether or not they would benefit from having a sibling or not.
I was an only child my entire life on my mother's side, and had a younger brother at 8 on my dad's but didn't see him much, and when I was 15 the first of my three youngest siblings were born. I lived with everyday.
So I have the somewhat unique perspective of having had both siblings and none in the same family.
Really, it made no difference. I was always told as a child that I was more mature than most kids and spoke like an adult. I suspect that is from the fact I didn't have any siblings and most spoke to adults. I was never lonely, or bored, or whatever. It was a none issue. That being said, my younger brother and I are very close, and having a close sibling relationship is a unique one in the world. But just having a sibling does not guarantee that relationship at all. His full sister (my half) is only a year and a half older than him. They experienced everything together, but they cannot stand each other and almost never speak except at family functions. So just having another child does nothing to guarantee that sibling relationship will happen anyway.
BTW, the most telling thing of all, if probably that I chose, deliberately, to have only one child myself. She has close family relatives her own age, but has never bemoaned the lack of siblings. Quite the opposite, by the time she was 4 she was telling us how much she didn't want any siblings.
Sounds like son-in-law cant get the job done. Daugher should have married an Orthodox, African American or an Irish Man. Those guys can knock out dozens of kids.
Sounds like son-in-law cant get the job done. Daugher should have married an Orthodox, African American or an Irish Man. Those guys can knock out dozens of kids.
Sounds like son-in-law cant get the job done. Daugher should have married an Orthodox, African American or an Irish Man. Those guys can knock out dozens of kids.
I am not sure why you quoted me as your drivel has ZERO to do with my post.
I had one younger brother, and we never bonded or became friends. We're just very different. I never even bonded with my parents, so most of my adult life I've lived far from family and my parents very rarely contact me as an adult. So in some ways, I've almost felt "orphaned" as an adult.
We have twins and I'm glad they have each other. Especially since they have no family outside of us and will never be close to any biological family, other than us. At age 6, they've never even met their grandparents on the other side of the family. So I sort of feel bad that they'll never really have that extended family experience, but then I really didn't get much of that either. My hope is that they marry into great families. And so far, they get along fairly well and are friends, so that's positive.
For the love of all that's holy, BUTT OUT. Seriously.
I'm an only child who grew up in a fairly isolated part of NJ (until it got developed). I was very socially awkward, but more because of a learning disability than anything else. I also had nothing to do but study and read, and graduated at the top of my high school class and then graduated from an Ivy League college.
I'm an only child who at nearly 40 has a life full of rewarding relationships, a decent career and many interests. My mother and my auntie both wanted to adopt children after their daughters were born. They made the mistake of asking me and my cousin how we felt about it. We emphatically said no. I don't think they should have gone by our say-so, but it still worked out ok for me and my cousin.
OP, you need to relax and find something else to worry about. Your grandchild will be fine. But it's probably best if you don't project your irrational fears onto him or damage your relationship with his parents.
I have a grandson who is 2 years old, and his parents don't plan on having any other kids................So, if you are an adult only child, with hardly any relatives, are you happy or sad about your familial situation?
Neither happy nor sad; that's just the way my life is, and has always been. The only relative I ever knew was my mother. Your grandson may even (as I did) find himself at an advantage over his contemporaries in that he may be far more mobile and therefore able to move where emloyment opportunities arise.
FWIW, you are describing life in China for nearly everyone under 30. The one-child program will result in massive amounts of orphan adults with a huge number of never-married men. If you are a Chinese under 30, there are 120 men for 100 women.
When you think about it, the one-child program creates a population of people with no aunts or uncles; no cousins; no siblings.
I know you're worried about it, but only children usually thrive as long as their parents let them interact with other kids. In fact, he will probably be more mature and do better in school because he is an only child.
I have a grandson who is 2 years old, and his parents don't plan on having any other kids. He doesn't even have cousins anywhere near his age, just a couple who are much older. Neither families have many relatives, and none who are close, distance wise or emotionally. I was wondering if someone else is in this situation? If so, were you lonely as a child, not having any siblings to share your lives joys, ups and downs, holidays, with, or were you OK with it? What about as you got older, in your teens and older? I worry that he won't have any contact with anyone related to him when he's older, no family to speak of.
Until recently, I practically pleaded with my daughter to have another child because I am so worried about this, and because both of us grandmothers would love for them to have another one. Hopefully, a girl, but it really wouldn't matter, I would rest easier knowing my grandson had family close to him later. I know, something could happen to one of them, and the other would still be alone. Anyway, I quit talking to her about it because I'm more concerned now about the state of our country. From what I read and hear on the news, the future doesn't look good for our young children. I'm concerned about the world they will be growing up in.
So, if you are an adult only child, with hardly any relatives, are you happy or sad about your familial situation?
Wow, you certainly worry a lot about stuff you have zero control over.
I am an adult only child, with hardly any relatives. I find it completely futile to be sad about it. To the contrary, after gaining inlaws, I count my sparse familial blessings.
(JK..... mostly.)
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