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I only hate them if there's no one at the event who I'm close to.
Halloween at my company is an introvert's nightmare. It's the one day of the year that my company goes all out, with everything from costume contests to handing out candies in the cafeteria. And since many of the head honchos don't come in for work, people get super foolish, as is happening today.
I'm at the awkward age where I'm finding it hard to connect with people in my life. At work, most of the people in my department are in their 50s and 60s. (Thus the reason I am starting to search for a new job.) At family gatherings, everyone has kids except my wife and I.
I'm also an introvert, which doesn't make matters any easier. I think I come off as serious, self-contained, and introspective at work, which is why my coworkers seem to gravitate toward those who are more outspoken. It's always been this way at every company I have worked for.
I'm not complaining. I understand that, in social relationships, you get from others what you put in. If you're to yourself all the time, people aren't going to show much interest in you.
To be honest with you, I wouldn't change how I am one bit. I realize that my taciturn ways put me in the minority, but I like being different. The herd mentality that people at work have is ridiculous. People literally go to the bathroom together here. It seems many people have such a hard time doing stuff on their own.
Do you feel the same way at work? How do you feel about social gatherings, especially those where you hardly know anyone?
I can't say I hate them, but I don't entirely enjoy them, either. I have always been a very introverted/deep-thinking, very aware type of person, so I often feel more comfortable just sitting down, observing, watching the goings on around me rather than actively participating. But having said that, I do have some fairly strong extroverted tendencies in certain situations and on certain days. I am not a hermetical type of introvert, so I do crave a fair amount of social interaction. But I do best around more moderate extroverts (i.e, not the loud, boisterous, life-of-the-party types).
But in terms of socializing in general: I often feel as if many of our day-to-day social interactions require us to be insincere, phony, and artificial, so much so that I find myself not really enjoying socializing. It's probably a bigger issue for an introvert like me than it would be for a more extroverted person, presumably because extroverts focus more on others and on the actual situation itself rather than on over thinking the mechanics or underlying meaning of a social situation. I hate having to be phony and artificial, yet much of our social success is predicated on our ability to engage in somewhat deceptive behaviors: feigning interest in a boring conversation; asking about someone's day/weekend when you really don't care; making conversation or trying to force conversation because it's expected (even though you may not feel like talking or saying anything); smiling when you are upset or sad about something; keeping your true opinions/beliefs hidden and instead showing socially appropriate opinions/beliefs, etc. I mean, the list goes on and on.
As an introvert, I think about these things often, yet wish I could be more unaware and more focused just on people and socializing rather than focusing on how phony or artificial it can feel to socialize.
You really don't have to be an extrovert to be interested in people. All you need to do is ask a couple of polite questions. Many people will be relieved if you do.
I guess I prefer human interaction on my terms. If you call that misanthropy, then so be it.
I'm not disagreeing with you about the kind of interaction that appeals to introverts. I was responding to some posters who were talking about how they they can't stand people because they're all mediocre reality-tv watching morons. That's not introversion.
I'm not disagreeing with you about the kind of interaction that appeals to introverts. I was responding to some posters who were talking about how they they can't stand people because they're all mediocre reality-tv watching morons. That's not introversion.
you can be both a misanthrope and an introvert. I like to think that I am a healthy blend of both.
a misanthropovert
Last edited by StAcKhOuSe; 11-13-2015 at 09:23 AM..
you can be both a misanthrope and an introvert. I like to think that I am a healthy blend of both.
a misanthopovert
I feel like misanthropy is too harsh a word..to me it means you hate the majority of people. At the very least, you would be Dr. House but I would say I'm a less abrasive version of him. I do think that you can be annoyed by humanity and be introverted at the same time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnthonyJ34
I hate having to be phony and artificial, yet much of our social success is predicated on our ability to engage in somewhat deceptive behaviors: feigning interest in a boring conversation; asking about someone's day/weekend when you really don't care; making conversation or trying to force conversation because it's expected (even though you may not feel like talking or saying anything); smiling when you are upset or sad about something; keeping your true opinions/beliefs hidden and instead showing socially appropriate opinions/beliefs, etc. I mean, the list goes on and on.
As an introvert, I think about these things often, yet wish I could be more unaware and more focused just on people and socializing rather than focusing on how phony or artificial it can feel to socialize.
I still don't even know how to fake it so instead I just stay quiet. It is the worst when your depression is at it's lowest too and you're going out somewhere. The minute I feel tears coming on and I'm in public, it's basically a physical effort. Somehow the more I fight them the more they pour out.
I don't know if that's introversion or being reserved but I'm not really concerned about political correctness and they're similar traits.
I feel like misanthropy is too harsh a word..to me it means you hate the majority of people. At the very least, you would be Dr. House but I would say I'm a less abrasive version of him. I do think that you can be annoyed by humanity and be introverted at the same time.
misanthrope or not, I don't even care what people think anyway.
ill admit I despise most people. and I am not ashamed of it.
I did went to occasional parties when I was younger, then I decided they're not really that fun. The host of one party got so drunk that his friends had to carry him to his bedroom.
I don't enjoy nightclubs or big crowds. I can't stand having to jump up and down with one or both hands up in the air toward a rock band.
I only hate them if there's no one at the event who I'm close to.
Halloween at my company is an introvert's nightmare. It's the one day of the year that my company goes all out, with everything from costume contests to handing out candies in the cafeteria. And since many of the head honchos don't come in for work, people get super foolish, as is happening today.
I'm at the awkward age where I'm finding it hard to connect with people in my life. At work, most of the people in my department are in their 50s and 60s. (Thus the reason I am starting to search for a new job.) At family gatherings, everyone has kids except my wife and I.
I'm also an introvert, which doesn't make matters any easier. I think I come off as serious, self-contained, and introspective at work, which is why my coworkers seem to gravitate toward those who are more outspoken. It's always been this way at every company I have worked for.
I'm not complaining. I understand that, in social relationships, you get from others what you put in. If you're to yourself all the time, people aren't going to show much interest in you.
To be honest with you, I wouldn't change how I am one bit. I realize that my taciturn ways put me in the minority, but I like being different. The herd mentality that people at work have is ridiculous. People literally go to the bathroom together here. It seems many people have such a hard time doing stuff on their own.
Do you feel the same way at work? How do you feel about social gatherings, especially those where you hardly know anyone?
can definitely relate to your bolded statements.. i like the fact how if i don't show a smile and keep a happy go lucky expression on my face, my coworkers would assume im angry or im bothered in some way.. which is not true for the most part.. im either focused on my work or i have a lot on my mind.. 'extroverts' lack this awareness and tend to think negatively when confronted with such 'unusual' behavior.. this can happen anywhere, not just work.. i may seem aloof and detached.. until people start to get to know me and they will find im a rather warm-hearted, loving and kind person.. also, can relate to the herd mentality which doesn't just happen at work but life in general as well.. im the type of person who is in love with my 'differentness'.. have no desire to be swept up and get lost in this fractal and artificially induced matrix reality.. where human beings appear to be without a soul, individual consciousness..
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