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I'm a big psychology geek (I minored in it) and enjoy observing human behavior. Lately I've noticed that many of my friends tend to act a certain way when I'm having one-to-one conversations with them, but behave differently when they're in the presence of other people. This phenomenon is discussed in more detail here: Reasons Why Our Behavior Changes Based On Who We’re With
I've especially noticed this in the workplace. Some people are nice and polite when having one-to-one conversations, but become jerks when they're around others who act like jerks themselves. I feel it's because people have an innate drive to fit in, and in the end, they're looking out for themselves.
The mindset is something along these lines: "If the jerk in accounting can help me get a promotion, I'll try to mirror his personality as much as possible -- whether by telling similar jokes, acting as silly as he does, etc. That way, he'll like me more and thus do his part to get me the promotion."
It's amazing how people take on different personas when it's most convenient for them.
Well, there are the people who manage other people who are truly gifted. You will see that person stern with some employees, and comforting with others. With his or her peers you might see a different side altogether.
I don't necessarily think that different behaviors with different people is indication of being jerky or sheep like.
It is true that one or two people can sometimes lower the level of discourse in a group, or influence others to slack off or have some other bad effect. But others will have the opposite effects.
If people are influenced by bad behavior, then they are probably also influenced by good behavior.
I've worked with the public most of my life. And the more I did so, the more I became like a "mirror" to whoever I was talking to (speak their same lingo). Or like a politician who talks one way to one group of people and an entirely different way to a different group of people.
This is along the lines of "kneeling down" when talking to a small child. They are more comfortable talking with you if you are at their same height.
It's interesting to consider the 2 main motivations behind this phenomenon. One reason people adjust their persona to fit their company is to fit in and be accepted. The other reason is to appease and please others, make them feel comfortable. I see the persona shifting go on and when the object is to fit in, I view it as somewhat pathetic. However when the aim is to "people please" and make sure everyone is "happy" I feel bad for the person doing the acting because I know how taxing that can be.
I've seen that in many people. I think we humans will behave in any way that we feel will have the best results for us...at that time. We humans can be very deceiving as is evidenced by the guys who are well liked at work , but feared at home.
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Definitely, the group or pack mentality is inbuilt into all of us. That's why mobs of people can do horrendous evil that an individual wouldn't dream of doing. It diffuses the responsibility. I'm sure we've all experienced in, perhaps back in school when we all participated in bullying someone in a group.
And yes, our behaviour is definitely influenced by who we're with. That's why I'm beginning to realise it's not always snobbish to want to avoid 'bad company.'
Definitely, the group or pack mentality is inbuilt into all of us. That's why mobs of people can do horrendous evil that an individual wouldn't dream of doing. It diffuses the responsibility. I'm sure we've all experienced in, perhaps back in school when we all participated in bullying someone in a group.
And yes, our behaviour is definitely influenced by who we're with. That's why I'm beginning to realise it's not always snobbish to want to avoid 'bad company.'
This may also be linked to something I learned in Social Psychology called the "bystander effect." For example, a large group of students witnesses a kid being beat up by a bully, but not a single one of them steps in to come to the victim's aid.
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