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In another thread I posted that I'm going through intense therapy. Many of you here on CD (and a few of my offline friends) have addressed my issues with my temper.
On a one-on-one session, my therapist brought up that in many cases, anger and fear are "one and the same"; that is, in my case, much of my anger is masqueraded by fear. I'm asked "What are you afraid of?"
I guess my main fear is failure! I'm generally tougher on myself than on others, but that's beside the point. Each day, I make a concerted effort to do my personal best, on or off the job. I absolutely hate my abilities questioned - or my veracity, for that matter! I believe in consistency. However, when I feel that I'm overlooked - strike that, my actions and determination are questioned and criticized, I automatically go into defense mechanism. This is NOT to make it "all about me", per se, but to show that I'm just as competent as Joe Shmoe (or Jane Shmoe).
Someone posted a thread on "Repressed Memories". I have several, which I will not post here. However, to be questioned, or "second-guessed" when you know you've done what's right can become damaging to your inner psyche. Many a time in my past, I've been excoriated for one thing or another despite my best efforts, and over time, fear/anger builds up inside. The fear factor being that others may not think you're good enough, or smart enough, to resolve matters or whatever the case may be.
So, as I continue my sessions, I learn that those with the negative attitudes are the most insecure. We've all got skeletons in our closets. Show me a person with lots of negativity and I'll show you an insecure, immature individual.
It's like my dad used to tell me: WALK AWAY! Even if it's a boss at work being difficult...Go outside, take a walk around the block, calm down, call a friend or think of something that makes me happy.
I've battled high blood pressure for years. I'm not a youngster anymore. It just ain't worth getting all riled up. As Clint Eastwood said in one of his old movies: "A man's gotta know his limitations!"
the road to wisdom is being humble not arrogance,,,in humility,,,,you give no one else the power over your emotions..
prize peace over victory.....meaning don't be competitive....once you start being competitive you want to "win"
let go of the fears/angers of the past,,,,including put downs,,,,,anger,,,,forgive and let go.. fear infects other emotions... don't feed the fear,,,,,let the monster go ,,,you can do this at any time...
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