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typicals will never understand unless they spend a lot of time studying about ASD or working with an ASD person. otherwise it is completely useless trying to get them to understand. as you can see here many typicals don't get it, they lay it down to either complaining or excuses.
don't let that upset you though, because the people who can help you are just like you and me. try befriend an aspie.. someone who you can connect with. i am the sort of person to need someone to lead me by the hand too. if you can find someone else like that, you can both do things together and support each other. i don't just mean dating i mean a friendship. because lets face it dating isn't really stable in 2016 lol
That's mostly the way we are. Thanks for sharing this. I guess I shouldn't try to live in that dark place. It's just that it seems like most people have this odd way of just getting along with each other. I'm a bit like the proverbial "bull in a China shop," though. Isolation is painful, but it's a way I've lived a lot of my life. I'm just an observer. As a child, I wished not to exist. I don't understand how other people do it. This is a deeply depressing place. We live to be ignored and die unfulfilled. I've been told to "just enjoy life," but I have to have these extreme "highs" to do it. Then, I usually get those lows.
If I knew, maybe I wouldn't be so frustrated. Apparently, the things I struggle with are so basic for other people that they get confused when I ask about them or maybe I don't know what to ask.
That really was not a logical response to my post. But, lol, I am thinking maybe you can't see that.
(Smiley face means I am attempting to understand that you responded that way from your point of view.)
That's mostly the way we are. Thanks for sharing this. I guess I shouldn't try to live in that dark place. It's just that it seems like most people have this odd way of just getting along with each other. I'm a bit like the proverbial "bull in a China shop," though. Isolation is painful, but it's a way I've lived a lot of my life. I'm just an observer. As a child, I wished not to exist. I don't understand how other people do it. This is a deeply depressing place. We live to be ignored and die unfulfilled. I've been told to "just enjoy life," but I have to have these extreme "highs" to do it. Then, I usually get those lows.
I have Asperger Syndrome. I can relate to a lot of what you describe.
Strangely though, I have developed some social skills. I'm told by some that I have very good social skills (but not everyone would agree). My son suffered during his youth but in early adulthood he learned social skills that made him a socialite and he was a master at charming the ladies. It is him in my profile picture (I joined CD soon after his suicide and because of it). He suffered because of his Asperger's (otherwise called ASD).
I'm sorry. I guess it looks like I'm whining and making excuses, but I'm not looking at it like that. I mean, if I were to post complaining about an aching foot and how it hurts my job performance, if I mentioned that I've already gone to the doctor and I just wanted relief, wouldn't people assume I genuinely wanted to relieve my symptoms and get back to work instead of continuing to live in misery? Wouldn't they offer some concrete suggestions rather than, "I think you need to go to another doctor and get a second opinion," "go to the pharmacy and look for foot cream," "if you have a hurt foot, you shouldn't be around people without hurt feet; you should look for another job that's more accepting of people with your handicap," or "why don't you try climbing to the top of Mount Everest? That might make you feel better." I hope it's clear why I've seemingly "ignored" some of these "suggestions" that don't keep my end goal in mind.
I'm frustrated. I can't explain what I want. I can't find it by searching on the internet, and my attempts at starting and running my own business have inevitably led to failure, even though I have a decent bit of education and experience in my field. I know why I'm not doing well; I don't know the "steps," but no one will explain the steps to me, and when I ask for a concrete plan, or where I can find a concrete plan, I'm taken back to vague general suggestions like the ones above. Read through my posts if you don't believe me. Almost every time I ask for specific information, I'm mostly given vague general suggestions that don't really help and amount to "ask someone else." I've gotten page after page of unhelpful nonspecific information with just a little bit of helpful step-by-step information sprinkled in.
FYI, even if I find a terrific doctor, this need to have things spelled out isn't going to magically go away. I'm more comfortable in school because they do attempt to spell things out. Assignments aren't vague, and, if they are, I won't do very well in the class and can give the professor a poor review so that other students don't have to go through that nightmare. I seriously don't understand why very few people on this forum seem to be willing to give me what I'm asking for. I have started thread after thread basically asking, in many different ways, the same question. How (what are the specific steps) can I start my own successful tutoring business so that I can get out of my current situation (the situation I'm in with being not well-liked or respected by the students and some of the other adults) and start paying my student loans? I've gotten so little useful advice out of all of these threads, I could probably post it on one page!
I have Asperger Syndrome. I can relate to a lot of what you describe.
Strangely though, I have developed some social skills. I'm told by some that I have very good social skills (but not everyone would agree). My son suffered during his youth but in early adulthood he learned social skills that made him a socialite and he was a master at charming the ladies. It is him in my profile picture (I joined CD soon after his suicide and because of it). He suffered because of his Asperger's (otherwise called ASD).
Thanks for the encouragement. It is easy to feel that way when you feel the world is against you. Thankfully, though, it gets somewhat better after high school, as long as you don't go into a competitive career.
For those of you who actually want to provide concrete advice and not just vague general nonspecific information that I've probably heard before, here's a list of my previous questions. To those of you who empathize with me because you've had similar situations in your own life, I appreciate your concern and hope the world has grown less frustrating for you as you've learned to communicate with and accommodate the "normal" world's unwavering foolishness.
How can I start a successful tutoring business and get out of my current job? I want to know how to advertise for clients, what kinds of incentives I should offer, how should I accept payment (how many sessions should I charge for in advance?), should I charge for an initial consultation (I thought this was unfair, but I found out recently from trying to hire a math tutor that, indeed, some tutors do charge for the initial trial), what's a good way to get and retain clients? Should I have my own teaching materials? If so, please suggest which ones I should buy. This is something I've wanted to do for years.
How can I start any kind of successful business? I've thought about cleaning houses. I'm actually not bad at it if I know what steps to take. I'm not comfortable making a lot of my own decisions, though, and I get impatient with indecisive nonspecific clients. A person who is overly specific is the kind of client I think I would be comfortable working for. (For example, he or she tells me not only to wash the dishes, but which soaps to use, which tools to use on which dish, and how and where to stack each dish. To make up for nonspecific instructions, though, I guess I could get that information from a YouTube video and just use the suggested style as my default if a client isn't clear on what they want. ) There are a lot of things to take into consideration, such as which kinds of oils to use on hardwoods, what kind of soap to use on synthetic fabrics, and which dusting and carpet cleaning vacuum systems work best. I still think I could do it. Most of these things are about creating systems, and I thrive off of routines. If you suggest that I perhaps try to buy a franchise, how do I go about applying for a small business loan? Can you do it with bad credit? I would prefer to hear this from the perspective of someone who has tried A,B,C, or D and failed or succeeded and feels like he or she knows what works and what doesn't.
In general, how can I become a better teacher and be more appealing to students? Sometimes, my personality is a hindrance. That's why I like having lessons and games that help me interact with the kids. I also want to properly pace their learning. I guess what I should ask is, "if you were me, what systems would you have in place to help you productively interact with and teach your students?" In their current environment, it's very easy for them to get bored. I've relaxed my teaching style and expectations a lot since I've been working in this environment, but I still try to sneak in some morsels of learning here and there.
How can I start making a reliable income from writing blogs and publishing articles on the internet? There must be a way. I've read articles that weren't even very well written; they were still published on the blog, and I'm assuming the author was compensated, because why would you write for another website if they weren't going to pay you?
Where and how can I find people in real life who will help me meet these goals because they have similar issues getting started but might be further along than me?
For those of you who actually want to provide concrete advice and not just vague general nonspecific information that I've probably heard before, here's a list of my previous questions. To those of you who empathize with me because you've had similar situations in your own life, I appreciate your concern and hope the world has grown less frustrating for you as you've learned to communicate with and accommodate the "normal" world's unwavering foolishness.
How can I start a successful tutoring business and get out of my current job? I want to know how to advertise for clients, what kinds of incentives I should offer, how should I accept payment (how many sessions should I charge for in advance?), should I charge for an initial consultation (I thought this was unfair, but I found out recently from trying to hire a math tutor that, indeed, some tutors do charge for the initial trial), what's a good way to get and retain clients? Should I have my own teaching materials? If so, please suggest which ones I should buy. This is something I've wanted to do for years.
How can I start any kind of successful business? I've thought about cleaning houses. I'm actually not bad at it if I know what steps to take. I'm not comfortable making a lot of my own decisions, though, and I get impatient with indecisive nonspecific clients. A person who is overly specific is the kind of client I think I would be comfortable working for. (For example, he or she tells me not only to wash the dishes, but which soaps to use, which tools to use on which dish, and how and where to stack each dish. To make up for nonspecific instructions, though, I guess I could get that information from a YouTube video and just use the suggested style as my default if a client isn't clear on what they want. ) There are a lot of things to take into consideration, such as which kinds of oils to use on hardwoods, what kind of soap to use on synthetic fabrics, and which dusting and carpet cleaning vacuum systems work best. I still think I could do it. Most of these things are about creating systems, and I thrive off of routines. If you suggest that I perhaps try to buy a franchise, how do I go about applying for a small business loan? Can you do it with bad credit? I would prefer to hear this from the perspective of someone who has tried A,B,C, or D and failed or succeeded and feels like he or she knows what works and what doesn't.
In general, how can I become a better teacher and be more appealing to students? Sometimes, my personality is a hindrance. That's why I like having lessons and games that help me interact with the kids. I also want to properly pace their learning. I guess what I should ask is, "if you were me, what systems would you have in place to help you productively interact with and teach your students?" In their current environment, it's very easy for them to get bored. I've relaxed my teaching style and expectations a lot since I've been working in this environment, but I still try to sneak in some morsels of learning here and there.
How can I start making a reliable income from writing blogs and publishing articles on the internet? There must be a way. I've read articles that weren't even very well written; they were still published on the blog, and I'm assuming the author was compensated, because why would you write for another website if they weren't going to pay you?
Where and how can I find people in real life who will help me meet these goals because they have similar issues getting started but might be further along than me?
Look at the bolded above!??! You've been provided tons of helpful advice which you ignore month after month after month. You're wasting everyone's time and goodwill here, your time too.
Look at the bolded above!??! You've been provided tons of helpful advice which you ignore month after month after month. You're wasting everyone's time and goodwill here, your time too.
I don't really know why that's your opinion, but if that is your opinion, don't waste your time. I only want advice from people who care about helping anyway.
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I think you get it. Thanks for the encouragement.
I've been told to "just enjoy life," but I have to have these extreme "highs" to do it. Then, I usually get those lows.
