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You have started 345 threads, and many of them concern the same issues, over and over. You've pretty much ignored all the advice you've been given about teaching, starting your own business, dealing with ASD, etc, etc. Why not join a support group and learn something about how you come across to others IRL?
It's pretty frustrating. People don't think I even have a problem until they have me do work for them. Then, they feel like I'm a lazy entitled good-for-nothing (add insulting language here) person who CHOOSES not to communicate properly with people. They usually don't spend enough time on me to know what my real strengths even are. The only way out of this, I thought, was more education to make myself a more valuable employee. Unfortunately, the college degrees aren't worth what they once were. Our teachers just didn't know how to educate us, and the standards were inevitably lowered so that the colleges could get more federal student loan and financial aid money. Someone even explained to me that a bachelor's degree today is worth what a high school diploma was worth once upon a time, so I guess that means a master's is worth what a bachelor's degree is, and maybe I need to get a PhD to convince anyone that I actually know something. I'm ashamed of the state of education in this country from my perspective as a student. I guess you may think I'm just whining, but when you give someone an online open book test where they can easily Google the answers, I think you don't really care what the students know. That might be okay for some, but I think it really hurt me, especially since they didn't really cover how to apply what you know to the real world. Well, they did, sort of, but they didn't help me put all of the pieces together. It took me years to figure out you learned how to teach, or do any job, by watching others and asking questions, not by just reading books and writing lesson plans; I still don't think I get it.
^Why did you highlight the poster's question and then proceed to NOT answer it? I found that curious. Is that part of what you mean by your inability to communicate? You went off on a completely unrelated tangent about your education, which had nothing to do with the subject of the question.
I have a question. You complain that people think this and that of you and don't understand how you are. OF COURSE they are going to think that you are behaving that way deliberately. Nothing in their experience would prepare them for someone with your communication behaviors. So, prepare them.
Have you ever tried to start off the relationship with an honest, straightforward conversation about your communication behaviors and how you might appear socially inappropriate? A WRITTEN explanation, prepared in advance, reviewed and edited by a neurotypical friend or colleague, could go a long way to setting the stage for acceptance.
If I knew from the start that a new coworker or business contact might appear anti-social or hostile because of a disorder beyond their control, I would expect it and we could start the relationship from a place of knowledge and understanding.
I worked for a while with a man who had Tourette's Syndrome. He would yell the same repetitive phrases out while sitting at his desk, and he often walked through the office with a handkerchief hanging out of his mouth because that ameliorated the symptoms somewhat. We got used to it.
^Why did you highlight the poster's question and then proceed to NOT answer it? I found that curious. Is that part of what you mean by your inability to communicate? You went off on a completely unrelated tangent about your education, which had nothing to do with the subject of the question. Well, maybe I didn't provide enough background information for it to make sense, but I think I did answer it by saying that I don't think anything will do any good. I then went on to explain how I felt social anxiety affected me during school and how if anyone would have been paying any attention, they would have tried something else with me, but I've learned that for the most part people don't care; they don't care about you as a person, just what they get out of you, in the college's case, money.
I have a question. You complain that people think this and that of you and don't understand how you are. OF COURSE they are going to think that you are behaving that way deliberately. Nothing in their experience would prepare them for someone with your communication behaviors. So, prepare them. Some people are just willfully ignorant of certain things. Preparing a person for my issues would be difficult seeing as I don't even understand how they affect me. I had to listen to a seminar on ASD just to catch myself in some of the behaviors. It's just "normal" to me.
Have you ever tried to start off the relationship with an honest, straightforward conversation about your communication behaviors and how you might appear socially inappropriate? A WRITTEN explanation, prepared in advance, reviewed and edited by a neurotypical friend or colleague, could go a long way to setting the stage for acceptance. I imagine in a place where perhaps some people would rather use tradition as an excuse to uphold and reinforce centuries' old unfair practices that that wouldn't particularly be a good idea. Me sharing information about my ASD could get back to teachers, parents, and administrators in the twisted form of, "she doesn't have any empathy; how is she going to care for our students?" or "did you know that girl is mentally handicapped? She won't be teaching MY children." I've refused the "LD" label people nearly tried to stick on me all of my life, and why would I think openly embracing it now would help people better understand when I knew it was my destruction as a child? Had I been put on the special education track, I would have had lower self-esteem and even fewer job prospects.
If I knew from the start that a new coworker or business contact might appear anti-social or hostile because of a disorder beyond their control, I would expect it and we could start the relationship from a place of knowledge and understanding.
I worked for a while with a man who had Tourette's Syndrome. He would yell the same repetitive phrases out while sitting at his desk, and he often walked through the office with a handkerchief hanging out of his mouth because that ameliorated the symptoms somewhat. We got used to it. I'm happy to know such progressive workplaces exist in the world, but I don't think I've encountered any of them. It's really hard for me to imagine that anyone would take this seriously unless maybe they had it themselves or had a family member with it. Think about it. Would you accept that someone simply "forgot" to not wear the same dirty sweater or turn in an important assignment? Would you accept that a person who "stares at you menacingly" or refuses to make eye contact "didn't mean to?" Plus, from what I've heard, there are a lot of politics in public school teaching, and anything can be used against you if it's convenient.
Try the proactive approach and see if that helps.
That said, though, I did get my doctor to write my boss a letter explaining that I had it. It might be one explanation why I've actually managed to keep this job, but even though my coworkers may understand, the kids I work with don't understand and can't understand. I'm either the competent adult or I'm not, and if I'm not they notice.
It would be nice to just open up to my coworkers and explain how I feel like it affects my job performance, but it's actually a pretty subtle disorder, or I've developed enough coping mechanisms over the years to make it seem like it's not "that big of a deal." They usually just write it off as "lack of confidence." I've tried explaining to my cooperating teachers during student teaching, "I don't understand how you are interacting with the kids," but I was just told, "they should have covered that with you already." Simple implied rules that I should have already understood, like "your cooperating teacher expects you to learn by doing and ask questions as you work through the task of teaching rather than sitting in the corner, asking random questions, and taking notes," went right over my head. I was extremely intimidated and afraid to take any kind of lead. I instead hung out in the background and waited for my cooperating teacher to lead me, like she would one of her students. I know now that it was the wrong thing to do, but I didn't know what to do then.
Kmb, the point of the support group is that there would be other people who are ALSO looking for feedback. They are not there to judge you, but to give and receive constructive advice on how your behavior comes across to them. And you are there to do the same. It's not like a group of coworkers (or neighbors, or family members, or girlfriends) who have a completely different goal in mind.
Kmb, the point of the support group is that there would be other people who are ALSO looking for feedback. They are not there to judge you, but to give and receive constructive advice on how your behavior comes across to them. And you are there to do the same. It's not like a group of coworkers (or neighbors, or family members, or girlfriends) who have a completely different goal in mind.
I don't know where to find anything like that around here. I usually just end up feeling out of place. Plus, it's a small world around here. What if a parent taking her child to one of those things sees me and wonders what a disabled person is doing working as a teacher?
I don't know where to find anything like that around here. I usually just end up feeling out of place. Plus, it's a small world around here. What if a parent taking her child to one of those things sees me and wonders what a disabled person is doing working as a teacher?
You would get a recommendation from a therapist in your area. A therapist runs the group therapy. No one would know you were going except the people in the group, and there is a confidentiality agreement within the group.
You would get a recommendation from a therapist in your area. A therapist runs the group therapy. No one would know you were going except the people in the group, and there is a confidentiality agreement within the group.
^Why did you highlight the poster's question and then proceed to NOT answer it? I found that curious. Is that part of what you mean by your inability to communicate? You went off on a completely unrelated tangent about your education, which had nothing to do with the subject of the question.
This may be down to obsessions and perseveration. My sons do this...if they have worry they literally can not let go of it even in the face of a reply that could help.
...by not understanding that I think differently than most people, and it's serious enough to be considered a legitimate disorder!
It is your responsibility to learn how other people function, ASD or not. Nobody else is to blame for your problems.
Honestly, based on your OP and others you have posted on C-D, it sounds like your biggest problem is not ASD, but expecting the rest of the world to adapt to YOU. It is the other way around.
It's pretty frustrating. People don't think I even have a problem until they have me do work for them. Then, they feel like I'm a lazy entitled good-for-nothing (add insulting language here) person who CHOOSES not to communicate properly with people. They usually don't spend enough time on me to know what my real strengths even are. The only way out of this, I thought, was more education to make myself a more valuable employee. Unfortunately, the college degrees aren't worth what they once were. Our teachers just didn't know how to educate us, and the standards were inevitably lowered so that the colleges could get more federal student loan and financial aid money. Someone even explained to me that a bachelor's degree today is worth what a high school diploma was worth once upon a time, so I guess that means a master's is worth what a bachelor's degree is, and maybe I need to get a PhD to convince anyone that I actually know something. I'm ashamed of the state of education in this country from my perspective as a student.I guess you may think I'm just whining, but when you give someone an online open book test where they can easily Google the answers, I think you don't really care what the students know. That might be okay for some, but I think it really hurt me, especially since they didn't really cover how to apply what you know to the real world. Well, they did, sort of, but they didn't help me put all of the pieces together. It took me years to figure out you learned how to teach, or do any job, by watching others and asking questions, not by just reading books and writing lesson plans; I still don't think I get it.
Sorry, not spending time with an employee to "learn what their real strengths are" is nothing unusual. You are paid to do the work, not to talk about what your strengths are. AFTER you consistently do a competent job at what you were hired to do, you will gain a more receptive audience when talking about your strengths. Failing at basic requirements and then using the excuse that they don't play up your strengths doesn't cut it.
If college degrees aren't worth what they used to be worth, that applies to everybody, not just you. Why you do demand special treatment for a universal situation?
I do think you are whining, both here and in your other threads.
"Putting all the pieces together" is a kind of common sense that college classes do NOT teach you. Neither do high school classes, for that matter.
Children not being allowed access to your computer does not equal children being unable to access your computer. Logging off and shutting down is such an obvious and simple preventive measure that your lack of doing so sounds more like complacency (or laziness) than any psychological disorder.
If you expect those around you to hold your hand for every little decision, no wonder coworkers write you off. Yes, this is harsh. It is also one of the things that should be registering in your mind as something for you to inprove, since apparently it is a chronic problem.
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It's pretty frustrating. People don't think I even have a problem until they have me do work for them. Then, they feel like I'm a lazy entitled good-for-nothing (add insulting language here) person who CHOOSES not to communicate properly with people. 
They usually don't spend enough time on me to know what my real strengths even are. The only way out of this, I thought, was more education to make myself a more valuable employee. Unfortunately, the college degrees aren't worth what they once were. Our teachers just didn't know how to educate us, and the standards were inevitably lowered so that the colleges could get more federal student loan and financial aid money. Someone even explained to me that a bachelor's degree today is worth what a high school diploma was worth once upon a time, so I guess that means a master's is worth what a bachelor's degree is, and maybe I need to get a PhD to convince anyone that I actually know something. I'm ashamed of the state of education in this country from my perspective as a student. I guess you may think I'm just whining, but when you give someone an online open book test where they can easily Google the answers, I think you don't really care what the students know. That might be okay for some, but I think it really hurt me, especially since they didn't really cover how to apply what you know to the real world. Well, they did, sort of, but they didn't help me put all of the pieces together. 
