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Definitions of great, amazing & good come into play, as well as our perception of each. For example, some people consider their lives to be amazing because they've married & raised children. Others feel having kids has held them back in some ways. Some feel a bitter relationship has ruined their lives, 20-50 yrs later. And, that list goes on & on.
I've found that the few I've spoken to about my life find it amazing & interesting, filled with adventure. That's one way to view it... to me, it's just "normal". It's also been exhausting, not having roots & staying in 1 place. To the latter, I've also seen that many remain in 1 place as they're bored, boring & scared. Not all... it takes all kinds. I don't judge my past decisions. I made the best decision I could at that time with the info I had available... therefore, there was no mistake, even if I failed miserably & I'd do it differently today. At least I tried.
I suppose every life can be amazing. But, I have a lofty idea of the definition of amazing. People who found cures for diseases lead amazing lives. If you've ever saved a life, or perhaps given life, that's an amazing event. Only cartoon superheros are amazing 24/7. I also have practical ideals... any parent who has supported a spouse & children & provided a loving, secure, safe home is amazing... I suppose because I've seen so few of those.
In my view, of my own life... was it amazing? It's amazing I survived it all & I've done some amazing things... although, I don't congratulate myself & live off the glow of such events.
Interesting? Always. But, we make our own interesting circumstances, don't we? My belief is, if you're bored, you're probably a boring person and/or stuck in a rut & only we can pull ourselves out of it.
Good? I put many others before me, which benefited them, so it was good for them.
Regrets? I don't live in the past/regret of what I should have done or pat myself on the back for what I did do & spend no time mulling it over. It doesn't make me feel good to critique each decision. Had I the opportunity to do it all again, I'd have put myself first & made decisions that were of maximum benefit to me. Does that sound like regret? It doesn't to me, as I give it no attention... can't change the past & we can only do so much to move forward despite intentions... obstacles appear. It happens. Try anyway & take detours as necessary.
Was it a success? I have no idea... I'm still kicking & breathing, healthy, optimistic, ambitious, motivated & have a great sense of humor. I'm smart, I'm fun, I'm funny, I do the best I can. In-between, there are lots of snarls & glitches... such is every amazing, interesting or good life. If your life is bad, in any regard... how wonderful that we have the power to change it, today. Do it. Don't wait for others to do so, cuz it's not their job.
In my 20s and 30s I thought I'd had a happy childhood. Came to find out I was bullied and depressed. As a kid, you think whatever you've got is normal.
I think my life has been a bit lackluster. I've had happy times, and been mostly pretty lucky, but no big shining moment.
Regrets? I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention...
Compared to a lot of people my life has been decent, and I have had the chance and ability to experience many memorable events. I have a partner who loves me and treats me very well and we have been together over 19 years. We have done numerous trips to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness. and while I gave up my childhood dream of being a ballet dancer in my twenties, now in my mid forties I am enjoying dancing and ballet classes profoundly, though I will likely never perform for more than small scale local audiences. I live in an age of free information, food stores around every corner, modern medicine. It has allowed me the freedom to travel and do leisurely activities and pursue hobbies. I have seen and interacted with wildlife I never dreamed I would see in person as a child...moose, bear, wolves, fox, coyotes, bald eagles. I have the ability to thrive as a vegetarian.
In terms of success, compared to others my life is boring. Though I went to school for three years as an English major, dance major, and journalism major in my twenties, I did not finish those programs and dropped out of school for 17 years. In my forties I finally earned an associates degree in Health Information Technology and a few coding certifications...CPC and RHIT, and landed a good coding job at a large organization, but no bachelors or beyond. My mother has a PhD and is a brilliant writer, getting her first book published right now. My Dad retired making double what I make right now as a medical coder. But I enjoy my work, have good benefits, flexibility. I pay my bills and live independently without assistance.
I wasted a good bit of my life struggling with alcohol abuse and then anorexia nervosa. But they also taught me valuable information about myself and coping with life. I met my current partner as a result of recovery from the alcohol abuse.
I haven't done anything truly special that no one else has done. I haven't accomplished huge feats. I had a rough childhood growing up amidst severe mental illness among my immediate family (paronoid schizophrenia and PTSD among other things). I struggle with mental illness myself and don't have the greatest coping skills. I struggle with skills and issues that most people take for granted. I have very little family support and never had kids. I have a very small almost nonexistent circle of friends.
Life could be better or worse. Sometimes I try to imagine living 200 years ago, or a thousand, or 50, and wonder what that would have been like. I wonder what life will be like in thirty years if I am still here. It scares me. I have health problems (osteoporosis since age 34). I just try to focus on the present and do what I can now to be healthy and prepare for the future, and leave it at that. I don't see myself accomplishing much more than I have, but you never know. Miracles do happen lol.
Everyone should have a rotten childhood (mine ha) because everything that comes after is way better.
I could die today with no regrets except not being able to continue painting which is my life's focus, so many ideas in my "future paintings" binder. If my spouse died that would profoundly affect my happiness but every day we love each other. Carpe diem.
Having no regrets is something I actively think about and make sure the "to do" list is checked off. Did 90% of the travel desired and the remaining 10% is low priority. Retired early due to hard work and luck. Health is something you can't totally control, my crappy genes are coming into play even though I don't smoke, don't drink, do exercise and eat healthily for many years.
Everyone has some ability to create/improve their life in the US although those of another race or color or mentally or physically handicapped have more challenges than I did. That's why refugees want to live here, we have freedoms not available in many countries. I'm very glad I was born female in the US and not Asia or the near or far east or Africa.
Glad I was born white (not a racist just saying being of another race is harder) but those same WASP genes are causing problems, too little intermixing in the old country.
From a socioeconomic point of view, my silver spoon has never had even a hint of tarnish.
From a career point of view, I'm a product developer. I've developed things that millions of people have used. I've paid lots of taxes that help people in need. At an individual level, I've stepped in and helped out people in need. I'm not going to win a Nobel Prize but I think I've had a net positive contribution to the planet.
If you're ranking based on hedonism, I haven't been shy about enjoying the fruits of my labor.
Do I have regrets? Could I have made some better decisions? Sure. Everybody can say that.
If you were to die this month would you consider your life to have been amazing,interesting or good? When you reflect back?
Or do you feel it hasn't been great or reached its peak yet?
No. Due to being gay with fundamentalist parents living in the rural homophobic South, I have never really been able to be myself. I got one year out of the closet, but that year was tainted by constant harassment and manipulation by my parents. Eventually they won. I went back into the closet, moved back to Oklahoma, and did ex-gay conversion therapy.
I've thought about this a lot recently due to the fact that we are about to have a nuclear war and I will be shocked if most of us are still here in 2020. This isn't the life I wanted.
No. Due to being gay with fundamentalist parents living in the rural homophobic South, I have never really been able to be myself. I got one year out of the closet, but that year was tainted by constant harassment and manipulation by my parents. Eventually they won. I went back into the closet, moved back to Oklahoma, and did ex-gay conversion therapy.
I've thought about this a lot recently due to the fact that we are about to have a nuclear war and I will be shocked if most of us are still here in 2020. This isn't the life I wanted.
I'm sorry they did that to you. I grew up much like you and I can't even imagine what being gay in that world would have done to me. You made it this far and that says a lot about your abilities. There is support for you out there if you haven't found it yet.
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