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Yes, I am a three-time breast cancer survivor, I am married to the love of my life and wouldn't want to be on this planet without him, I have achieved a lot in my career and I have an amazing daughter and new son-in-law and I am about to be a grandma next year at the age of 43. I have a very good life now and I'm thankful.
I would lay claim to having had an amazing life so far. The grounds for use of that word, is...if I imagine, my young self at certain points, I've done more fun, cool stuff than I'd have ever hoped for. When my kids were little, I thought, "Well...this is it I guess. I will never be more than mediocre. Just another Mom in Iowa (lived there at the time)... I'll never do anything worth being remembered for, I can no longer have, afford, or enjoy adventures, I'll just keep on working and if I'm lucky get us out of poverty. Best I could do, if not what I'd hoped. Maybe my kids will do better one day."
Then I quit taking Depo Provera and the will to enjoy life came back, and I started doing so. I have befriended people I admire and gained their respect. I've enjoyed the colorful company and brilliant minds of so many lovely, creative people. I've been some places and seen some stuff. I've loved and lost and loved again. I have stories...hilarious stories, sad stories, outrageous stories. I've been lit on fire and conducted electricity, dined with monsters and slept with angels. From being the belle of the ball, to slumming with the gutter-punks. I've had a wealth of opportunities to accumulate wisdom, knowledge and experience, and a pretty good sense of humor. Of course I've had some hardships, but I've learned from those, too, and gained strength knowing what I can survive. I'm grateful for it all.
I have no regrets. I sometimes, though, have curiosity. I wish there were an omnipotent machine that had all the knowledge of human history and all the data and a real picture of our real world, and I could upload the contents of my mind and then in the program, change some detail or choice, and have it simulate and show me, where (by statistical probability) my life would have gone from there. I wonder how things could have been different sometimes. But not enough to actually wish for it.
If you were to die this month would you consider your life to have been amazing,interesting or good? When you reflect back? Or do you feel it hasn't been great or reached its peak yet?
I think 'D) All of the Above'
I think my life has been absolutely amazing, interesting...and good.
It has also had some not-so-good (as may be the case in some lives) that although unexpected and heartbreaking, we've gotten through the tough times and I'm sure there may be more in the future.
My life got better when I had children. Before that, life was so boring. It's amazing how much more meaningful life gets when you HAVE to do something, even when you don't want to do it.
And I'm making a difference in my job. Before I took over invoicing and receiving payments, the company was losing money because the lady in charge was very disorganized and had terrible follow-up. I heard about that and started my own A/P and A/R position and started new rules.
It's my family biz, so the company is important to me, and it will outlast that lady who's about to retire in a few years, so I had to keep it going for my future, not hers. Sadly, she felt like I was attacking her and has stopped speaking to me socially (she's a very talkative person), which hurts me on the inside terribly and I feel very self-conscious and awkward every day around her.
Amazing and not at all what I expected. I grew up Middle class, fell into poverty when my parents divorced-it was long and deep and I didn't escape it til I went to college. Through college I was very poor, and worked 2 jobs but thru studying hard I have had amazing experience in life. I never imagined traveling the world, having a great job, starting a business, having another business, marrying and having kids would be so great. I think one of the reasons I am so happy is that I married in my thirties so I was able to do what I wanted and travel before committing to another person and having kids. I also think one reason I am happy is that I am really grateful for what I have. I have never been a jealous person. I just work hard for what I want. I married someone with the same morals and values so raising kids is the usual but a little easier because we are on the same page. If I died tomorrow, I would miss my family.
I also don't shy away from helping people in need. I have always volunteered. I have lots of different connections and I think as I grow older these are important too. The only thing that is not amazing is I don't look like I did when I was 25.
No. Due to being gay with fundamentalist parents living in the rural homophobic South, I have never really been able to be myself. I got one year out of the closet, but that year was tainted by constant harassment and manipulation by my parents. Eventually they won. I went back into the closet, moved back to Oklahoma, and did ex-gay conversion therapy.
I've thought about this a lot recently due to the fact that we are about to have a nuclear war and I will be shocked if most of us are still here in 2020. This isn't the life I wanted.
Oh please do find out how to be yourself. I hope that you will find a beautiful friend to help you along the way. Everyone has something beautiful to share.
I've had a great time. Done and seen things I never even dreamed of doing. Some really bad things happened along the way, but those don't define me or my life.
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