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As you know from my topic I am dating a younger woman, and got a lot of negative reactions, I have also gotten some in real life, though I have noticed a pattern with it being women around my age group; 40 and up mostly. I can only guess it's the same for on here. Does it really bother you? Surely there are plenty men in your age group so why the negativity?
I look down on men who do this not out of jealousy but pity. I see them as men who are either insecure about aging, or worse; they don't want a woman who knows who she is and is comfortable with herself; that also means not putting up with immature shenanigans that we all put up with when we are younger.
Thankfully, the men I know around my age feel like dating significant younger women is a sign of not wanting a serious relationship. And for that, I still look down on them because they are toying with the young women's emotions.
I have been hit on by men 15 years my junior and 15 years my senior. In both cases, I'm like, What would we ever talk about? To be actually compatible with someone that different in age is a rarity. I'm not attracted to either.
'got many negative reactions' - like how many ? 2? Maybe 3? How did you know it was a negative reaction? Did they ALL tell you that or you just 'assumed'?
Here is the thing about women over 40 you may want to know: they already know what they want and won't put up with BS like younger women do. They are more selective and less desperate 'to be in a relationship'. When they see a man dating a woman (any woman) they just do not care. They probably mind their own business and think of their own stuff.
Why would they care who you date? I am over 40 and i do not care who you date. Your dating a woman 20 years younger won't put a dent in my day. Like i have said -we do not care.
If anything, so many men in my age group are really out of shape and are far from swooning over.
That's why I visit my gym 3-4 times a week. You can't change how beautiful or hansom you are, but you can surely get a good body if you work out. I'm amazed there are fat people who want dates but don't understand this.
I'm planning on heading over shortly, making it 5 days out of the last 6. (I missed yesterday.)
Working out is the simplest thing you can do to increase your attractiveness to the other gender. (I'm assuming they don't get their clothing out of the Goodwill donations dumpster, and that they bathe daily and brush their teeth.)
That's why I visit my gym 3-4 times a week. You can't change how beautiful or hansom you are, but you can surely get a good body if you work out. I'm amazed there are fat people who want dates but don't understand this.
I'm planning on heading over shortly, making it 5 days out of the last 6. (I missed yesterday.)
Working out is the simplest thing you can do to increase your attractiveness to the other gender. (I'm assuming they don't get their clothing out of the Goodwill donations dumpster, and that they bathe daily and brush their teeth.)
Yes!! And it's just as critical for women, not just for "looks" but def from the health perspective. Let's be real, people are sicker than ever even though we're living longer...Gen Y is expected to be the first generation in many centuries in the West where we're not expected to outlive our parents, because we're that sick. And a lot of it is lifestyle...it just is.
As a woman I do cardio but also weight-bearing because of the osteoporosis risk if you don't do weight-bearing. But guys, don't think your bones can't be impacted too. We all feel invincible in our 30s, sometimes way into our 40s, then...boom. Unless we do something about it.
ALL of these things age you beyond what's expected (because it is after all natural to age, it's not a crime)...being out of shape means being tired and being sick for many of us...it's way more of a reality the older we get.
Healthy and energetic is sexy. For those who take a more shallow view, LOL. (Don't think my mind doesn't go there too when I'm sweating like I'm wearing a bear suit in the summer during a workout.)
Honestly, it was my understanding Gen Y is more health conscious than previous generations, foregoing fast food and eating healthier. Fortunately I have a 6'6 Marine who's in excellent shape and works out, lifts and eats good...Better than me even lol! Though I do try to keep myself in shape, I do lots of cardio and run quite a bit and try to limit what I eat as far as unhealthy things go. Oh, and he's a great cook and makes healthy meals for me which is nice
They were supposed to be, but current obesity and fast food/non home-cooked stats show otherwise. People are getting obese at younger and younger ages than in the past and this doesn't bode well for the long term.
The knowledge is there, yes, but do people implement it...not so much. There's a faction who do but obviously we're not as healthy.
But really my point was that it's not just how people "look" that makes us not want to choose or not choose partners. It's the implications of what we believe that shows us. IOW, it's not just "eew, yuck, s/he's chubby" that's the issue...that may not even be the issue, actually...but the realization in the age group we're talking about, of what that implies. (If that makes sense.)
At 19 when I'd first had my baby and had gained a lot of weight, I could still run all around the place, sure. (I lost the weight in 6 months but I'm talking about before that.) At 35 after a pregnancy weight gain I sure felt it. Oh my gosh did I feel it. I'm just one person but I don't think I'm any sort of phenomenon in feeling health issues more as an older v. younger person...so in my age group, yes, if the guy were obese it would be a serious consideration for me in dating and wanting a relationship.
Bottom line: yes, stay healthy...but not just to "look hot." It really does make a difference ultimately. Alone or with someone, at some point in your life you're going to start feeling it if you don't. Just my observation, I'm sure some 65-year-old 250-pound 5'1" woman is going to come along at any point now to tell me she can run a marathon and finish before her Instagram model granddaughter. Or some guy whose fat smoking dad lived to be 110 and never needed Viagra...I get it...but just...take it under advisement.
Healthy and energetic is sexy. For those who take a more shallow view, LOL. (Don't think my mind doesn't go there too when I'm sweating like I'm wearing a bear suit in the summer during a workout.)
With your every post I gain more respect for what a smart person you are!
My dad died in his late 50s of a heart attack, the only heart attack ever seen in my family history, and absolutely no warning. He was in fine shape too. One day he was fine, that night he just died. Didn't even make it to the hospital.
That was a wake-up call for me. I was in my early 30s then, and after I got over the shock I started working out and taking an aspirin a day. I've done that ever since and today I'm healthy beyond belief. My only problem is somewhere I gained some excess weight and I've been working on it all year. As i said, my friends tell me I look fine. Well, um... not. I'm not gonna stop until I can look at myself in the mirror and I feel good about it. I was my perfect weight several years ago and I'm determined to get back. I've recently adjusted my diet and workouts (sometimes 5 days a week) and when I'm done no woman will be critical of my weight. Also, I am planning to live to be 100 years old, and maybe more, and I'll be in good shape then, no walker for me!
This is very important in dating too. About 2/3 of my dates work out at a gym, many of them my LA Fitness too, and the other 1/3 have some activity (like the horse owning woman I date) that keeps them in good physical fitness. My profile makes the point I am into health and fitness, and I reject matches that do not mention any physical activity. I sometimes accept matches where I can tell they are in good shape, probably they just didn't mention their preferred fitness method in the profile.
Actually I don't understand why everybody isn't into physical fitness. Do you know that the hours you spend in your gym do not count against your total life span that God has planned for you? Maybe He decided that if you wanna live that bad he'll give you a leniency.
BTW hours spent fishing don't count either! Dancing and skiing also don't count. Anybody who does either knows why.
This is very important in dating too. About 2/3 of my dates work out at a gym, many of them my LA Fitness too, and the other 1/3 have some activity (like the horse owning woman I date) that keeps them in good physical fitness. My profile makes the point I am into health and fitness, and I reject matches that do not mention any physical activity. I sometimes accept matches where I can tell they are in good shape, probably they just didn't mention their preferred fitness method in the profile.
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Some people are naturally lean or muscular, even if they are not into fitness or working out. You should ask if it is really important to you. I would find it annoying if someone assumed something about me and it was a deal breaker.
As you know from my topic I am dating a younger woman, and got a lot of negative reactions, I have also gotten some in real life, though I have noticed a pattern with it being women around my age group; 40 and up mostly. I can only guess it's the same for on here. Does it really bother you? Surely there are plenty men in your age group so why the negativity?
You can date younger women if you want to. If it makes other women mad, that's their problem. Not your's.
Some people are naturally lean or muscular, even if they are not into fitness or working out. You should ask if it is really important to you. I would find it annoying if someone assumed something about me and it was a deal breaker.
This can happen, but being in the middle-aged age group, I know several naturally very lean women who as we get into our 40s and 50s are (this sounds mean, I'm not a movie star either) looking just really bad bodily. I know some people who stay naturally lean all their lives but as you get older, if you don't move it...you do lose that naturally muscular part.
Just an observation. I mean being gorgeous isn't the be-all and end-all and we all only have so many hours in the day to spend preening and working out, I get that...but...we're talking 40+, that's the point of the thread. In this age group on up, things DO start to change...and health really does need to take a front seat. And at a certain point, unless you're a freak of nature, you don't have an amazing body naturally even if you do no moving around at all or healthy eating, no matter how thin you may be.
Fair not, unhealthy (so to speak, everyone's definition varies on this) habits "show" more later in life...even if they never did before. And yes, in many cases, they do become a clue to lifestyle. Not EVERY but many. When I was 20, I could eat Ramen noodles, never work out, sleep a couple hours a night, smoke, and look not only skinny but firm, sexy and with nice definition in my arms (for some reason). If I tried this at 50...well...never mind. Don't nobody need that visual.
JMO.
As for people assuming, nobody is a mind-reader. We all have to go off various clues and what we can learn fairly early on from a person. I mean that just is what it is. And if that assumption is a deal-breaker then it is. Nobody is perfect - not the person being judged (that's all of us at times) nor the judger (that's also all of us at times). That's simply reality.
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For those who take a more shallow view, LOL. (Don't think my mind doesn't go there too when I'm sweating like I'm wearing a bear suit in the summer during a workout.)
People are getting obese at younger and younger ages than in the past and this doesn't bode well for the long term. 
Or some guy whose fat smoking dad lived to be 110 and never needed Viagra...I get it...but just...take it under advisement. 
Dancing and skiing also don't count. Anybody who does either knows why.
