Why do some posters seem to enjoy attacking "nice" people? (dating, issues)
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We were all raised with our very own set of rules, our own personal cultures.
We were taught by our mothers and grand mothers how to act, how to think and be.
So someone comes along and has a whole different personal culture and a lot of people think and believe, if it doesn't mesh with their beliefs it's wrong, and it's not...it just simply is how people think and feel about issues.
Here's an example. You meet a boy, fall in love, and get married. Then all of a sudden, the real you comes out...maybe you believe it's ok to have girlfriends on the side, but your wife is so totally against it. You grew up believing that it was ok to do that, b/c your mother did it for your father, and your uncle also did it to his wife. Matter of fact your uncle told you, give your wife everything, treat her like a queen, give her anything she wants...but never ever admit to her you've had girlfriends on the side.
Now the wife gets all up in air, b/c on several occassions, she's almost caught him or suspects something is wrong. He denies it...and she thinks he is the kind of person she thought he was, but he is not.
He wasn't mentally or morally compatible.
So so many people today are unaware of this fact, that just b/c you believe one way and I believe another, doesn't make you right and me wrong. It is however, simply how we were raised to believe, our own personal cultures.
Well, when you post your culture online, and let people know how you feel about an issue...and they don't agree with you, they "think" it's a personal attack against their culture and are afraid, to allow you your thoughts and feelings, and walk away from the conversation angrier than a hornet, talking about what a dope you are, or how wrong you are for feeling that way? Why? Because they do not have the ability to allow others their thoughts and feelings.
I don't know many of these posters here, and I don't give a darn what they think and believe, and it's ok to express your feelings but it's not ok to out right put someone else down for their feelings...but when you express what you think, they think your attacking them personally, b/c they don't have the ability to understand anything beyond their own culture, when there is no right or wrong answer.
Does that make any sense.
I know people in this forum who absolutely hate me, b/c I have disagreed with them? And that is why a lot of times, most marriages are unhappy. Because one or both of them, do not understand, that we may not always agree, doesn't mean your right and I'm wrong, it is simply how we were raised to believe about a thing. Some men get angry b/c their wives want to go away on a girls weekend together...some wives get angry b/c their husbands don't always agree with them on every subject...they don't understand and worse, won't allow others their beliefs.
then as the lady above suggested, they could be internet trolls or flamers, and then some people love to create disarray, and actually feed off of it...and you begin to be able to identify each catagory...
Some enjoy trying to embarrass others by stating they've spelled something wrong, or they don't use proper words when writing...it's a high for them, to feel more empowerment, by trying to make others feel smaller than them for their feelings.
Then you have that one person, that really dislikes you and lays in waiting, until others start coming in to disagree with you, and that person, then jumps on-board, agreeing with everyone else, why? Because that person wants and lives to put you down, and now joins in, which is like a gang mentality. You can pick em out with a fine tooth comb.
I'm not speaking for everyone...just myself, but sometimes, people post their opinions as if they're facts. I'll challenge sometimes, when I see that happen.
Also, sometimes, it seems to me, that people want to be able to say what they want to say, even if it's outrageous, or wrong, or controversial, and consider anyone who challenges them as being mean and bullies.
Just my observation.
there is a huge difference in how you speak to others with your words, (meaning "your" in general.
I don't mind at all if someone disagrees with me and gives me their views...we can all learn that way...I might consider it, and I might not, depending...but there have been many times when people become very cruel and mean with their words.....not just to me, but to a lot of people, especially if we disagree, and it isn't necessary.
there is a huge difference in how you speak to others with your words, (meaning "your" in general.
I don't mind at all if someone disagrees with me and gives me their views...we can all learn that way...I might consider it, and I might not, depending...but there have been many times when people become very cruel and mean with their words.....not just to me, but to a lot of people, especially if we disagree, and it isn't necessary.
Totally agree, but some like to go on and on and on and debate the "H" out of a post. That is going on now in POCS with a topic I posted.
Everyone has their life experiences and they are all UNIQUE. I am one who does NOT follow the flock and it comes out in my posts. And so many don't get that. We should all march in step with everyone?
Totally agree, but some like to go on and on and on and debate the "H" out of a post. That is going on now in POCS with a topic I posted.
Everyone has their life experiences and they are all UNIQUE. I am one who does NOT follow the flock and it comes out in my posts. And so many don't get that. We should all march in step with everyone?
never been a follower and not starting now...some people cannot understand that or conceive of it....and when they don't get it, it intimidates them...so they call you names...or get nasty...
never been a follower and not starting now...some people cannot understand that or conceive of it....and when they don't get it, it intimidates them...so they call you names...or get nasty...
I love to hear from strong people but that doesn't mean to attack others. I like we just disagree.
'
To have controversy in a forum with the word "Controversies" in the title should be expected.
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To have controversy in a forum with the word "Controversies" in the title should be expected.
true, and most people welcome a discussion, especially it's of interest to them....however, we are unable to live up to the expectations of others....but that doesn't give one a license to be snarky or respond with personal attacks, just b/c the subject matter or answers doesn't meet with ones own beliefs and moral standards. A lesson we can all learn from each other...patience and courtesy.
true, and most people welcome a discussion, especially it's of interest to them....however, we are unable to live up to the expectations of others....but that doesn't give one a license to be snarky or respond with personal attacks, just b/c the subject matter or answers doesn't meet with ones own beliefs and moral standards. A lesson we can all learn from each other...patience and courtesy.
Something occurred to me today, a good handful of those who attack just about everything I say/post, always have something negative to say about my info, NEVER offer anything of interest for others to chew on. I'm not clear on the definition of troll, but that word comes to mind when I see them print something.
This post...is simply perfect. Great summary of what occurs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
I'll tell you what the problem is, point blank.
We were all raised with our very own set of rules, our own personal cultures.
We were taught by our mothers and grand mothers how to act, how to think and be.
So someone comes along and has a whole different personal culture and a lot of people think and believe, if it doesn't mesh with their beliefs it's wrong, and it's not...it just simply is how people think and feel about issues.
Here's an example. You meet a boy, fall in love, and get married. Then all of a sudden, the real you comes out...maybe you believe it's ok to have girlfriends on the side, but your wife is so totally against it. You grew up believing that it was ok to do that, b/c your mother did it for your father, and your uncle also did it to his wife. Matter of fact your uncle told you, give your wife everything, treat her like a queen, give her anything she wants...but never ever admit to her you've had girlfriends on the side.
Now the wife gets all up in air, b/c on several occassions, she's almost caught him or suspects something is wrong. He denies it...and she thinks he is the kind of person she thought he was, but he is not.
He wasn't mentally or morally compatible.
So so many people today are unaware of this fact, that just b/c you believe one way and I believe another, doesn't make you right and me wrong. It is however, simply how we were raised to believe, our own personal cultures.
Well, when you post your culture online, and let people know how you feel about an issue...and they don't agree with you, they "think" it's a personal attack against their culture and are afraid, to allow you your thoughts and feelings, and walk away from the conversation angrier than a hornet, talking about what a dope you are, or how wrong you are for feeling that way? Why? Because they do not have the ability to allow others their thoughts and feelings.
I don't know many of these posters here, and I don't give a darn what they think and believe, and it's ok to express your feelings but it's not ok to out right put someone else down for their feelings...but when you express what you think, they think your attacking them personally, b/c they don't have the ability to understand anything beyond their own culture, when there is no right or wrong answer.
Does that make any sense.
I know people in this forum who absolutely hate me, b/c I have disagreed with them? And that is why a lot of times, most marriages are unhappy. Because one or both of them, do not understand, that we may not always agree, doesn't mean your right and I'm wrong, it is simply how we were raised to believe about a thing. Some men get angry b/c their wives want to go away on a girls weekend together...some wives get angry b/c their husbands don't always agree with them on every subject...they don't understand and worse, won't allow others their beliefs.
then as the lady above suggested, they could be internet trolls or flamers, and then some people love to create disarray, and actually feed off of it...and you begin to be able to identify each catagory...
Some enjoy trying to embarrass others by stating they've spelled something wrong, or they don't use proper words when writing...it's a high for them, to feel more empowerment, by trying to make others feel smaller than them for their feelings.
Then you have that one person, that really dislikes you and lays in waiting, until others start coming in to disagree with you, and that person, then jumps on-board, agreeing with everyone else, why? Because that person wants and lives to put you down, and now joins in, which is like a gang mentality. You can pick em out with a fine tooth comb.
true, and most people welcome a discussion, especially it's of interest to them....however, we are unable to live up to the expectations of others....but that doesn't give one a license to be snarky or respond with personal attacks, just b/c the subject matter or answers doesn't meet with ones own beliefs and moral standards. A lesson we can all learn from each other...patience and courtesy.
How can you learn patience and courtesy from a person who has none?
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