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It sucks. My mom (my best friend) died when I was 17, shortly thereafter I was forced to move out and I ended up losing about 95% of my belongings. So, yeah... basically a total catastrophe as if a tornado came into my life and sucked everything of value out of it. Very strange feeling. Like I was suddenly a completely different person with no roots, like just nothing to reflect back to me who I was, where I belonged in this world, where "home" was located. It wasn't a "freeing" feeling, at all. At least for me. As a teen trying to transition into an adult... to have this happen to you.... it made the "transition" extremely tumultuous because it was not a smooth transition, a gentle transition. It was a very violent one. Hope that makes sense.
(I know that my case is a little different because there was a death involved, not just losing belongings, but just wanted to share my point of view.)
It wasn't violent, but it was devistating when Mom died. Dad just fell apart. He was having early mental aging problems, but more it was that Mom was everything to him and I think if he'd had the choice to die with her he'd have taken it. I was in college and just starting my first professional job. I came by as much as I could but could not be there all the time. My aunt and uncle visited but they lived in Los Angeles, a hefty drive to Huntington Beach. Dad finally started filling the memories which had disspaeared with his own fantasy about them.
I also had a serious boyfriend, and he couldn't stand that I wasn't just paying attention to Dad. He came with me, helped out and I wouldn't let Dad go at him when he was there. But then suddenly Dad sold the house, and packed. I got a truck full of stuff from Mom, Dad taking his, and I tried to save them. But as things continued to fall apart, and we broke up, and Dad didn't remember who I was anymore, that 'stuff' became very important. I can remember the picture with Grandma and mom and her cousins when they were teens....how much I looked like Mom but then looked at from a different light, how much I also look like Dad. And all those boxes of family who had survived moves but dissapeared.
That's the sort of things I miss. Or just simple ordinary things which were grandmas. Or Mom's. I adored my mother but was really my dad, so maybe that is why I got along much more peacefully with her. Dad and I were firecrackers ready to spark each other.
And what's really sad to me is my son doesn't appear interested about that part of the family. Maybe for his mormon stuff, but if that's all I wouldn't get involved.
My stuff, I miss my early stories. It was before the net, just from email based groups, but most have been found. But some haven't.That email net was sooo much more fun than it is now. We had a room at the star trek con we put on for just writers so you had a face with a name.
It's funny but while I loved my mom absolutely and adored her, as a younger kid, I felt closer. But when I got older, Dad and I came one to one. I have his temper, and his stubborness and his determination to get my way. I feel bad now about some of our arguments, but then I think it was just always going to be
Dad and I.... just like my son. Runs in the family.
We all have these great ideas about how it should be and I think most of the time they are born of the idea that if it was just possible to keep the good and leave the bad parts along the road...... but then I wonder if Dad wouldn't come back and argue some more just because........
There are highs, lows, and one highest peak in quantity of possession. Our early bipedal hominid ancestors were able to carry more than their quadruped ancestors. Toolmaking and agriculture made the next highs, as people stored extra tools and food for the winter. There are periodic lows with crop failures, wars, and collapsing empires and civilizations. Now we're at the peak, with the industrial age reducing the cost of replication, and larger suburban homes with enough space for vast piles of unused stuff. The suburban tradeoff is community. Distance and isolation from our neighbors and relatives makes us more dependent on stuff and in-home entertainment.
OP. And this is why you should inventory all your possessions, even if the inventory is simply a video of you going through each room. You can rest assured your insurance company is not going to rely on your memory.
I've thought about this. Actually, this past week, since hurricane Michael, I took a bunch of photos of items my closet. I don't own a huge amount of clothing, but I have quite a few unique items that I've slowly collected over the years that would be impossible to replace. I think I will continue with this and take photos throughout my home. It would provide a feeling of comfort knowing I have the documentation should anything happen.
its not materialistic to have memorable tokens ....a ring passed from generation to generation...a family heirloom or a trinket that carried such fond moments...to lose such is an emotional shock.
At 13 when I was being RE- programed to understand the cruelty of state run programs - The Foster program. I would learn that NOTHING...absolutely NOTHING that was on my being was mine. It belonged to the Foster parents or to the state. At 16 when I got re-assigned to another family I recall being given one pair of jeans a tshirt and my undergarments. Then every three months these lovely folks would get a check from the state to provide me with clothing....But alas It went to their own kids warddrobe.
So by the time I had kids of my own I had learned to value those "things"...and respect THEIR property. It broke my heart into a million pieces when at my poorest...My sons and I got evicted. We had no van to load our stuff. My son of 9 begged me...to take his encyclopedias ( yes this was in the 1980's when kids actually utilized such. ). And I had to say No to him....
If you ask how does one cope? I simply denied that they meant anything....even though they did.
I have ppl that mean more then things.... But I carry with me a rosary that was held by my mom during her dying days. I treasure it ....and should I lose that...it would be a loss that would shatter my faith.yet ironically be that reminder that nothing I have or am given is really for keeps...it can and often is taken away whether I consent to it or not.
In Buddhism, the loss of one's possessions equates with freedom.
And thankfully, younger generations are becoming less materialistic, more interested in experiences. Plus they probably have a lot of their best stuff on the Cloud.
I feel stress accumulating more possessions (especially of value). When I'm ready to move for retirement I will happily eliminate 80-90% of my stuff.
I'm retired now, and I've moved a couple times in the past 10 years. Every time, I donate or sell any items (especially books) that I don't use on a regular basis. I really don't own anything anymore that would seriously upset me to lose. I have a beautiful violin that an old friend made for and gave to me, which I play nearly every day, and a custom acoustic guitar which I should play more, and it would upset me to lose those, but they're replaceable. Maybe not with the exact same thing, but close enough.
It is true - the less "stuff" you have, the freer you are. Free from worry, from burdening others after you depart this life, free from having money tied up in things you don't need or use...and when I move, it costs me very little because there's not much to haul to a new place.
If I lost everything, it would be a hassle, but not unbearable.
I voluntarily gave up almost everything when we moved and sold the house after my husband got sick. We were going to be moving into furnished rentals after that so we just kept what fit in the van, mostly clothes. I didn't feel bad about losing anything, I just wanted my husband to be with me. Nothing else mattered. I did get to keep some small mementos but all the furniture and my mom's piano that I had kept all these years were gone.
In Buddhism, the loss of one's possessions equates with freedom.
And thankfully, younger generations are becoming less materialistic, more interested in experiences. Plus they probably have a lot of their best stuff on the Cloud.
I feel stress accumulating more possessions (especially of value). When I'm ready to move for retirement I will happily eliminate 80-90% of my stuff.
Arguably the more important factor for those whose homes have been destroyed is financial and the busy need to put their lives back together.
One time just out of college everything I had was moved into a new house, and stolen. One time I lost everything in a fire. One time it was lost storage I wasn't able to get back to. Yes, Buddha is right.
Since in all cases a move was forced, I met my new wife, got a new career, started a delayed goal. And my family photos are all in the cloud. All good.
I had a large storage building out back and it was stacked full of many things important to me. That included numerous items I'd designed and built and a lot of books and personal papers. Then the neighborhood serial arsonist torched it, and most of the contents was lost. The previous resident had left 4 magnesium rims inside and I had 8 of the small propane bottles for a camp stove. When they burned or detonated, the fire was made much worse. For years now, whenever I can't find something I know I should have, I can only conclude that it was among the countless things that got burned.
Too many people, to avoid the time and energy it takes to feel compassionate towards those who were victims of a natural catastrophe, go the opposite way and attack these people instead!
"That serves them right, living so close to the ocean! How stupid of them, sitting in the path of a potential hurricane!"
"There's the potential for earthquakes along the entire Pacific ocean from Alaska to Chile, so why did they move there, they should have known better!"
"That city sits in a deep valley, how stupid of them, just waiting for a flood to wash them away!"
"Why would someone stupidly move within the parameters of Tornado Alley, no sympathy whatsoever!"
When Houston was flooded out last year, it pained me to even think of what those poor people were facing, and Hurricane Katrina. Being suicide prone, and not having flood insurance, I would have left the planet!
As I watched the news about Hurricane Michael and all of the destruction, I found myself thinking about how would I cope if my home was obliterated, or nearly completely destroyed. Thankfully I have not personally lived through a major natural disaster (knock wood), but each time one happens, I find myself feeling unnerved by the thought of losing everything.
Probably, for me, the part of it that bothers me the most is - how would I be able to even remember all the items I had lost? Years ago my laptop crashed and I lost everything on it because I hadn't backed it up. I got a new one and had to start trying to remember all the stuff on there that had been lost.
Thankfully, I was just dealing with a laptop, and so I just lost pictures and documents. My entire life wasn't turned upside down, but it felt very strange to realize I couldn't remember all that I had stored on there.
Have you or someone you've known gone through something like this? How did you/they cope? How many of your current possessions do you think you'd be able to remember if your home went through a major storm, hurricane, flood, etc..?
While things like a TV can be replaced, personal items like photos and family memories are irreplaceable. I can not imagine the pain a lot of people in the path of that hurricane must be feeling right now.
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