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Yeah that's way too much. I was going to say, if it's just getting vaccinated and tested, or wearing a mask indoors even, maybe okay, but the other conditions are pretty ridiculous. Dictating what types of things, and which people, you can talk about, and what you're allowed to eat and drink at your own expense is way too far. If you really want to visit, I would stay at a hotel where you can eat and drink what you please, and just visit her for limited hours in her home or backyard, avoiding meal times if necessary. She seems sad and neurotic. She has probably isolated herself so much that she's spiraling into more and more fears, judgements, limitations, etc, and will only exacerbate her own isolation. That's really sad. Think about staying in a hotel so maybe you can see her, without her controlling you so much. I know she doesn't want you going to public places, but maybe you need to push back a bit for some concessions, and make it a condition of your visit that you can stay in a hotel each night, otherwise no visit.
What I want to know is how the O.P.'s friend would know whether or not the O.P. had gone to say, the grocery store or a gas station twenty-four hours before a visit.
There's no way that I'd be honest with someone who tried to control my behaviors to that degree. Masking? Fine. Testing daily? Only if my host paid for any tests beyond day one. Vaccinated? Done, although if the O.P.'s friend is like the person who I referenced in my earlier post, the vaccine chosen by the O.P. might not be the "right" one (according to them)
Heck, I'd even avoid consuming meat and dairy while visiting--especially if the friend who's hosting is providing meals. As for the rest, I'd do my best to avoid forbidden topics, although I wonder if there are more topics that, if they're brought up, will also become verboten.
My brother won't fly anymore, if he ever did other than the once I saw him do it. He had to fly to our dad's funeral, it would've been a 4 day drive each way. He had to get his doctor to prescribe him some Valium or something in order to calm his anxieties over flying, and claustrophobic tendencies. In his case, it's an extreme case of a control-freak personality. He won't even ride in the car if someone else drives. He must be in control at all times, so letting the pilot fly the plane scared him to death. He said he was afraid he'd need to get out of the plane mid-fight! We had to get him the exit row seat so he would have more room, and some weird sense of control in a crash, which was a bit tricky on SouthWest. We had to be one of the very first to check-in online and claim a low boarding pass number in order to board first and get him an exit row seat. He has gotten weirder as he aged. He was always this way, but it has gotten worse lately. He just won't travel now. His wife passed away last year, so I don't know what's in his future. His annoying, and always unemployed, step-son lives mostly with him, and he's alienated at least one of his own kids. I've been talking to him about downsizing from his 5 acre, 3200 sq ft giant Tuscan style 2-story home on a steep hill, as he has some mobility issues, and it's getting too much to take care of, but I think he won't move as long as the 40 year-old ne'er-do-well stays in the picture. He's financially okay, but the expense of supporting another adult (and that person's teen-age, partial custody daughter) will break his bank. He seems to be unable to draw boundaries for this "young man". Don't get me wrong, my brother has a high IQ and functions exceptionally well, but has a total blind spot where his deceased wife's son is concerned.
I think self-preservation is strongly correlated with age. The older you get, the more fussy you are around making sure that you continue living and sustaining your lifestyle. Some people obviously take it to the next level by barricading themselves up in their house. I don't take nearly as many risks as I used to. Maybe it's just that I had a lot less to lose back then.
I know people like that and those who went opposite, doing risky things because they feel they have LESS to lose than when they were younger. Some people I've come to realize mostly just did what was trendy at the time (which seemed cool then) and catch trends now that may be affecting them negatively. They may have always been followers waiting for cues, so they are scared with all the bad things always coming through the current media.
Right now we are dealing with a family member who is paranoid about any change, but change is happening around them and it's coming. You can only control so much. As we age we have to adapt and know we can't do all of the things we used to, there will be losses and things we didn't expect to ever happen. If we freak out about the changes we can lose it.
We live in strange and uncertain times, but it's important to keep some kind of center. Aging itself is a challenge, not for wimps as they say, and becoming too stubborn, weird or extreme can make it more difficult to age gracefully and contentedly, imo.
I guess I agree. Although my mom (who is in her 50s now) has always been a worrisome person, she seems to have gotten stranger in the past few years...especially after COVID. She never goes out to restaurants anymore and is always taking about viruses. If she and my step-dad decide to sell their home, she said she doesn't want to move into a condo building because all of the different viruses going around...lol I just don't think like that. I'm more carefree and hope I don't get that way when I'm older.
Ishe said she doesn't want to move into a condo building because all of the different viruses going around...lol I just don't think like that. I'm more carefree and hope I don't get that way when I'm older.
I don't think it's mandatory! I am old and when I see myself getting twitchy and touchy I tell myself Just Stop It!
My husband was always a bit of a worrier but it's gotten way more that way. Just yesterday I said to him when he got all freaked out because I didn't answer my phone (it was in the other room plugged in and charging and I didn't check it for about 3 hours), I said "Not you too! Just stop it!" LOL.
I don't think it's mandatory! I am old and when I see myself getting twitchy and touchy I tell myself Just Stop It!
My husband was always a bit of a worrier but it's gotten way more that way. Just yesterday I said to him when he got all freaked out because I didn't answer my phone (it was in the other room plugged in and charging and I didn't check it for about 3 hours), I said "Not you too! Just stop it!" LOL.
Yeah, I just couldn't imagine living my life that way... Life is too short to be worrying about small things like these... Your husband may need a drink to relax haha.
Some people just get too caught up with all the so-called "news" and junk these days. Garbage in, garbage out.
I admit to noticing that too, and being surprised. People I grew up with and used to be so grounded and rooted like me, now bear no resemblance to them then / me still. Plus, they're way to addicted and vocal about stupid politics, which they never would have given a d@mn for before, as I continue not to.
Maybe shows how important it is to have positive influences and stay focused on healthy matters. The odds seems to be against us, so it takes continuous care and attention.
It doesn't seem to be based on age though, as there are plenty of young and middle-aged people equally scared / angry / unbalanced.
Yeah, I just couldn't imagine living my life that way... Life is too short to be worrying about small things like these... Your husband may need a drink to relax haha.
Some people just get too caught up with all the so-called "news" and junk these days. Garbage in, garbage out.
I admit to noticing that too, and being surprised. People I grew up with and used to be so grounded and rooted like me, now bear no resemblance to them then / me still. Plus, they're way to addicted and vocal about stupid politics, which they never would have given a d@mn for before, as I continue not to.
Maybe shows how important it is to have positive influences and stay focused on healthy matters. The odds seems to be against us, so it takes continuous care and attention.
It doesn't seem to be based on age though, as there are plenty of young and middle-aged people equally scared / angry / unbalanced.
But an older person should be wiser and more stable based on years of life experience and personal growth, with some kind of resilience?
I'm shocked how easily influenced and pliable grown adults have been in recent years. I expected more from the people I have been through so much with and who I thought I knew and could depend on for mutual support and friendship. It really feels weird and disappointing. Maybe that makes me weirder now because I cannot trust what I always thought I could trust and that has to change a person.
I'm shocked how easily influenced and pliable grown adults have been in recent years.
I'm not sure it's a recent thing, to be honest. It's like grade school all over again, except with money and weapons. Very scary.
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I am old and when I see myself getting twitchy and touchy I tell myself Just Stop It!
haha.
