Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That kind of describes me. I, of course, go through problems like anyone else and am not always happy. But most of the time, I try to be positive and smiley around others. Someone I met a couple of months ago even said that I have a permanent smile on my face...lol I think she meant it as a compliment.
I'm not someone who is going to air out all my dirty laundry and complain how bad things are for me... I'm not one of those dramatic types. Life is too short to be sad and complaining all the time. My mom is one of those types.. She's a good person, but I don't think she's ever been truly happy. She grew up in the former Soviet Union, so I think it kind of shaped her mentality about life. Basically, life is supposed to suck, and happy people aren't normal.
[quote=tijlover;64246514]When I meet up with very cheerful religious people, like my neighbor, I recall Karl Marx's line: Religion is the opium of the masses. So if you're using "opium", why shouldn't you be cheerful.
There's a razor thin line between cries and laughter, and many who never cry, laugh a lot instead.[/QUOTE]
Your post made me realize that, while I've laughed so hard I started crying, I don't think I've ever cried myself into laughter ...
It's great to be positive and cheerful within your own little world if that's how you approach life. Good for you. But it's not right to be a Pollyanna to those who are struggling with real problems. Just because YOU make lemonade out of lemons or think life's a bowl of cherries and that tomorrow will be a better day and things will work out, doesn't help an elderly lady who's living on $1300 a month of SS and has a $500 car repair and whose roof just started leaking or someone whose son just died from an overdose or someone who just got a cancer diagnosis.
If there's anything "not normal" about being cheerful all the time, maybe it's that these people do not have the courage to really hear and understand those who are struggling. Maybe they feel better sticking their heads in the sand like ostriches and they can't bear facing reality?
On the other hand, I hear from friends who seem to have issues much worse than my own from being stuck in hospitals for days to about to begin bone marrow replacement and when we see them, via posting, they are always so cheerful, so positive. Granted, we are seeing them only in a moment.....but it is that moment that sticks with us. Why should I be sad when they are facing such hurdles with a smile?
Today as I was out shopping for supplies to ease but not solve the well crisis, there were inconveniences along the way, from misleading websites that made me look like a fool in reality to having to wait around and then not getting the answers I needed, but each time I came face to face with a person, I was all full of energy and cheer and rather naturally at that.
Does that cheer affect others? Maybe for when I accidently cut line infront of others, they said go ahead....or it just might be that since I always dress like a ranger, even with my mod bandana accents, they decided to err on caution.
And then when I stepped with bare feet on that very stinky kitten land mine when I got home..........
Sitting here now, I wish the house did have running water but it does have power so be thankful for what one does have because.....it could always be worse. Further, today out in town (and tomorrow back in town to do laundry), I was rather in my self made Cowgirl environment which, I would like to believe, can absorb such a many days mishap. That is, take the bad with the good for this is part of being a Cowgirl, too!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Native Transplant
I hate "smiling at the camera", because for me, it's always so forced. Usually I'm in an adequate mood, but I do have a history of depression. It's all part of me. s far as camera photos, I have to force a smile. I usually otherwise would have resting bitchface, and if I am tired or annoyed, I wind up looking like I want to kill someone even if I really don't.
I get along best with those who are real. Sometime happy, sometimes not. But always real with themselves. We all owe ourselves that, imho.
For me, that is something of a trained response. I tell myself, "And....SMILE for the camera!" and in an instant, it all falls into place for that response.
Similarly, at first, my teaching approach was to become someone else, a character that I liked seeing on TV, such as "Adderly" as he was in "Class of '87" (wounded spy Adderly has to take over teaching a class of new spies) as in energetic, encouraging, full of life....and eventually, that just became me.
Be who you want to be.
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 10-08-2022 at 07:41 PM..
I think it’s possible to be cheerful but also realistic and empathetic. As a former social worker I have seen some horrible things but it didn’t change my basic personality. I have had many close friends but I have also lost 8 mostly due to cancer.
A friend of mine is dying now and I spend every afternoon with him even though he mostly sleeps to make sure he is getting decent care and his pain medications on time. He has no children and none of his relatives are local. His care wasn’t great when he first declined but I raised a fuss and now it’s good because they know we will be there daily. Our other friend comes in the morning.
Loss ends up being the cost of friendship. I get depressed like everyone at times and my last divorce painful although my decision. I know people that have suffered much bigger losses than me and try to be grateful for what I have. Tallymom I love how you honored your husband and his collections.
Sure, it’s part of the spectrum of normal. There’s even a clinical term for it — euthymic (as opposed to dysthymic, or chronically down). It’s a blessing of balanced neurochemistry.
I’ve gone for several weeks at a time in that state. It feels wonderful. I wish I could always stay that way, because it really does make for resilience. Euthymia frees a person up to be generous, kind, and creative. One is not bogged down by internal struggles, so there’s more available energy for positive self expression.
Sure, it’s part of the spectrum of normal. There’s even a clinical term for it — euthymic (as opposed to dysthymic, or chronically down). It’s a blessing of balanced neurochemistry.
I’ve gone for several weeks at a time in that state. It feels wonderful. I wish I could always stay that way, because it really does make for resilience. Euthymia frees a person up to be generous, kind, and creative. One is not bogged down by internal struggles, so there’s more available energy for positive self expression.
One thing I think is that when things aren't so...oh, how did Martina McBride put it? "… When there's dark clouds in my eyes
He just sits back and lets 'em roll on by....", it does drag me down but as oppose to worry about what will I do, what will I do, the mind is busy working on approaches, a plan........like my well potentially going dry.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
