to predict future behavior, look to past behavior (men, abusive, marriage)
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I find this to be true. Anyone want to share stories of the truth of this idea (to predict future behavior , look to past behavior) or on the other hand, stories of the falseness of this, maybe someone changed thier behavior. What's on my mind is infidelity. thank-you for your responses.
Generally, I think this is true. Once you cross the line, it's easier the second time around. There's not as much guilt or angst. You've already established the fact that you CAN do it.
Once had 2 good friends who met each other at work. They were both cheating on their partners. They got divorced and married each other. They never could trust each other because of the way they got together. Eventually it broke up their marriage even though, to the best of my knowledge, they never cheated on each other.
But I also believe people can change. I pretty much take you at face value and believe your words and actions. I can't be judge and jury. I can't rush to convict you because of your past. I never walked in your shoes and don't know what you went through. This leaves me vulnerable to being hurt and sometimes, it happens. That's life and I would rather be open to the possibilities than closed off in my own little prison.
I'm a big believer in "don't listen to what he (or she) says, watch what he (or she) does". People say a lot of things to cover their @sses, but it's just lip service unless they follow through with their actions.
The past can and does set the tone for the future. But some people evolve with age and experience. I won't stoop to generalizing or condemning someone for their entire lives for their past mistakes.
I have known men who were total ****-dogs who have become amazing family men.
I have, technically, cheated. "Technically" meaning I didn't resist the opportunity, but I did leave my relationship as soon as it happened. I know my reasons and I have no regrets, nor do I feel any shame. I consider myself to be an exceptionally good woman. You'll rarely find someone as honorable and devoted as I am. But I place value in what actually has value. If it has none, I have no loyalty to it.
A relative of mine married an abusive man and he eventually found God. They aren't together anymore because the damage was done, but he is completely changed and they remain friends. He is the exception; this doesn't happen often. And this relative could probably make Satan change his ways, so she is also an exception in many ways.
I know good men and women who have turned into total pigs. Again, experiences, good and bad, can change a person for the better, or worse.
Thats why its a good idea to know the person a couple years before getting married. You can hide a lot of flaws for several months after you start sleeping together.
I'm a big believer in "don't listen to what he (or she) says, watch what he (or she) does". People say a lot of things to cover their @sses, but it's just lip service unless they follow through with their actions.
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