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Is it right to stay put somewhere you're unhappy with, knowing there's something better simply because you've done it before and things didn't work out the first time? No second chances?
If you can't identify specifically WHY you moved the first time, then identify specifically WHY things are different now and HOW you will be able to absolutely positively guarantee they won't change back again and map out the reasoning, then it's better to stay right where you are, and work on it.
With anything less than that as a solution in place, you are destined to repeat your misery regardless of how many chances you are given, at a financial and emotional cost to all involved.
You cited the job you had as the reason you were miserable, yet something inside you decided that it was easier to leave the state than to just search for another job while you were already here. What has changed inside you that guarantees you won't hate the next job even more, decide it's a case of home sickness again, and decide you want to move again?
promise I'm not a stalker, but reading your post history, when you were looking to move 5 years ago you were throwing darts all over the map. There has to be something about an area that appeals to who you intrinsically are. You can't just say "I'm not happy here so somewhere else will be better". You already tried that, and blamed the place. Then moved again, and again blame the place. Friend, it ain't the place. Trust me.
promise I'm not a stalker, but reading your post history, when you were looking to move 5 years ago you were throwing darts all over the map. There has to be something about an area that appeals to who you intrinsically are. You can't just say "I'm not happy here so somewhere else will be better". You already tried that, and blamed the place. Then moved again, and again blame the place. Friend, it ain't the place. Trust me.
Egads. Just move. I can barely believe the advice you're getting.
The kids will be fine.
I moved mine here when they were 5 and 12. The 12-year-old claimed a bedroom, and that was that. She was going to stay back home with a relative for three months to finish out the school year, but she had no interest in that. She just wanted to be in NC.
what does your family think about moving back? Did your kids like it here? Was there an area that your family might like better than where you originally were? Kids are resilient, they'll be fine.
This area is now turning into the piece of junk you said you were escaping when you last came here.
The rotten state legislature is ruining schools and their bribing companies to relocate to already overstressed areas has created a mess in education, taxes, roads, etc.
If you didn't like this area before, not much chance of liking it now. The 2016 elections may flush out the losers now running NC. Reconsider then if you still want to rerun here.
Moving kids back and forth isn't a great thing to do IMHO and I wouldn't do it at all again unless you are 100% sure you will stay in NC and not uproot kids again. Your children are at the ages where friendship and fitting in are important to their well being.
Totally agree. You must consider a lot of things when deciding to move out or not. You have to rethink all over and over again. Bear in mind that your family is moving out because it is better for all of you - not just for you or your wife alone, but most of all, it is for the betterment of your kids.
I can relate to your plight. I moved my poor family around the country chasing a dream. My wife and kids were very gracious at first, but our last experience hurt us all. My wife and kids were constantly having to make new friends and the frequent moves created stresses I was unaware of. I didn't realize how much my family was affected until we moved back to where we left and my wanderlust started to kick in again. At that point they all said I could move, but it would be without them! In talking with them now (that they are older and past high school) the thing they wanted/needed most was stability, especially during those teen years. I didn't give them a choice, often presenting each move as a new "opportunity." My advice to you would be to really have the talk with your family about the possibility of moving back to NC. Let everyone express their honest feelings about the matter and then decide. I nearly destroyed my family through my selfishness and wouldn't wish that on anyone! I do understand wanting to put your family in the best position for the future, though. Good luck!
^^^i think this is the key. Moving is one thing and yes kids will recover. Constantly moving because one person is another. The kids are probably always going to be on edge. And it is not one move. This would be the 3rd move in 3 years for really no good reason.
Just wanted to add in my two cents of agreement with what some of the posters are saying. Ask your family what they want to do. Kids will adjust as will you and your wife. If she and the kids want to move back to NC, then there's your answer. If you are miserable in FL for more reasons than homesick, then it's worth it. You were homesick in NC and you moved back without giving NC more of a chance. You moved back to where you felt miserable in FL. Now you know why. That was an impulsive move, but now you have had time to think. So, don't second guess yourself. You made a mistake, you can correct it. Make sure this time your family is involved in the decision making and compromise where disagreements occur.
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