Should my family move to raleigh, NC?

[ljd1010]

Originally Posted by aldamon

If we made $250K+ a year we would be moving to NYC.

My son and daughter-in-law make that much combined and it's still not a cakewalk. They want to buy a condo - nice 2 BR/2 BA condos in Manhattan are well over a million dollars. They're now looking for property in Hoboken!

[CrysD724]

I come from a family who also made a huge move from where most of their family lived to much farther away (Cali to Florida, try that!) and three years ago I made the choice to move from FL away from ALL of my family (everyone) to NYC for schooling and to start a new life.

So this is what I want to say - in this day in age your kids are very very lucky - why? Because there are so MANY tools available to them to allow for communication to their family. I'm sure you've heard of the internet, yes? I do video calls with my family all the time, e-mail them all the time, talk to them on instant messengers, share websites and pictures with them. My cousins and I are connected through websites like myspace, flickr, and other things that we participate in together. Outside of that, I take whatever amount I can save and try to visit once to twice a year. I've even now made more of an attempt to get in touch with my long-lost family in Cali on the other coast.

Yes, it isn't the same - but it does make a difference. If you think moving is the right choice outside of missing your family, then make the decision to make sure your children and you and your family stay connected in other ways.

Honestly, I appreciate my family 10x more now that I am further away from them, and it's wonderful to have all these keepsakes from the times we do get to spend together, all these artifacts that are easily saved because they're digital. When I first started college I lived only 30 minutes away and I spoke with my family less than I do now, being over a thousand miles away from them. They were lucky if I called them once monthly or visited on holidays!

I live here with my boyfriends family in NYC and they have been here for decades, always got together for every holiday - they all live within about 10-20 minutes of each other. But, they are not close at all! They're all miserable and are now fighting constantly. I know this isn't every family, but it just goes to show that distance does not always dictate how close you are to your family. The best relationship he actually has is with his brother's family, his nieces (3 and almost 1 year old) who moved to the Triangle a year ago. We do video calls with them, with grandpa too, and they love it.

Also, through my research of the NC, I've always read that the schooling is great there? Don't know too much about LI's in comparison though.

[yoda_jives]

Originally Posted by mwhickey

we currently live on long island and up to now, this is the bigest decision we have had to make. below are our positives and negatives. Let us know what your opinion is?

Positives

1. Lower our expenses ( would have 100k less in mortgage)
2. No Traffic (husbanad commutes 3 hours a day).
3. we would make the same money as in NY (upwards of 250k.)
4. friendlier people
5. better social life
6. husband went to nc state university.
7. love the lakes and outdoor activities.
8. lower taxes. Paying 14k in real estate taxes on long island.
9. community oriented (club house, sub divisions, etc.)
10. better local colleges (husband and i would take clases)
11. We feel a bit out of place in NY. We're country music fans, love the small town feel, etc.
12. If we stayed in NY, we'd have to move closer to NYC because of my husband's job. He absolutley hates working in the New york city.

Negatives.

1. This is the bigest and most important. FAMILY. our extended family lives in NY and are very close. Husband has 4 brothers he's sees every couple weeks. we are able to attend every family function. out children are extemely close to their couzins. our parents stop bye weekly and are retired. our extended families lives are highly impacted by our family.
2. we have a great house that we love.
3. better schools. ( this is a guess).
4. we would have to get a bunch of permits (pool, etc.) before moving.
5. bad real estate market.
6. better job market in NY.

FYI we moved from the SF bay area. I can subsitute your point on family with long time friends in our case. But then NY is only a 2hr flight away.

Our income did not take a hit - less than yours but in the similar ballpark . My wife has plenty of opportunities if and when she decides to work We are able to afford a house which we couldn't dream off back there. Schools are much better here than the bay area on the average (though there are some selected excellent schools there). Job market doesn't affect us too much - having the luxury of working remote for a silicon valley company, not to mention lots of good local choices. Real estate market here is much more saner in my opinion.


Gone are our nightmares of 3 hr commutes, obscene real estate prices, bad to avg schools.

Again it has to be a completely personal decision. Good luck !

[James Taylor]

Here's something that OhNoMongo left out:

11. We feel a bit out of place in NY. We're country music fans, love the small town feel, etc.
in NY. The "small town feel" is long gone and country music is not at all popular in Raleigh (or anywhere else in The Triangle, for that matter).

[joey2000]

Originally Posted by OhNoMongo

Positives

1. Lower our expenses ( would have 100k less in mortgage)
2. No Traffic (husbanad commutes 3 hours a day).There is plenty of traffic here but not to NYC standards
3. we would make the same money as in NY (upwards of 250k.)I don't know what kind of job you guys have but tha't a very high salary here and would be very unusual
4. friendlier peopleI would say it's a mixed bag. The people I'm around are very nice but they are not natives so do they count in this category?
5. better social life Depends on what you do. I think it's harder to have a social life in a smaller city without public transit
6. husband went to nc state university.
7. love the lakes and outdoor activities.
8. lower taxes. Paying 14k in real estate taxes on long island.
9. community oriented (club house, sub divisions, etc.)I hate the suburbs and would argue that they are isolating so I don't consider them community oriented
10. better local colleges (husband and i would take clases)
11. We feel a bit out of place in NY. We're country music fans, love the small town feel, etc.
12. If we stayed in NY, we'd have to move closer to NYC because of my husband's job. He absolutley hates working in the New york city.

Negatives.

1. This is the bigest and most important. FAMILY. our extended family lives in NY and are very close. Husband has 4 brothers he's sees every couple weeks. we are able to attend every family function. out children are extemely close to their couzins. our parents stop bye weekly and are retired. our extended families lives are highly impacted by our family.My parents moved us from Chicago (in the city, not Naperville, etc.) and I wish I could undo it. I am no longer close to extended family and if this is important, I would tend to tell you to stay where you are. This WILL rip the kids away, especially if they're young.
2. we have a great house that we love.
3. better schools. ( this is a guess).
4. we would have to get a bunch of permits (pool, etc.) before moving.
5. bad real estate market.
6. better job market in NY.

I also agree that this is an excellent post. lol @ "no traffic" in Raleigh - not NYC bad, but it's bad.

I think the "nicer people" thing is an overblown stereotype as well. There are plenty of both nice and not-so-nice people in both areas.

Basically to me it sounds like you're weighing expenses vs being close to family. For me that would be an easy choice if I wasn't in dire financial crisis, but to each their own. NC is very nice generally but it's not some answer to everyone's prayers like a lot of people (mostly from the northeast) seem to be thinking.

[chapelhillian]

Raleigh is kinda neat but can be elitest at times. If your hubby attended NCSU, he's probably familiar with Raleigh and would be surprised at the many changes, some of them good some not so good as the tax base has changed radically. I'd say give it a try and give yourself time to adjust. Sure the folks will visit but that makes for lotsa fun too. Raleigh's a good place to live.

[North_Raleigh_Guy]

Originally Posted by chapelhillian

Raleigh is kinda neat but can be elitest at times.

That is funny! Thanks for a good laugh.