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North Raleigh does not have a lot of true southerners. North Raleigh's existence can be attributed to massive transplant growth. Not just from the "Yankee North" but from other parts of the country as well. If you're looking for the South in the northern part of Raleigh you are in for a surprise.
If you think the "Housewives of Atlanta" tv show is representative of the South, you need a reality check.
The further you go out from the core cities (Raleigh, Cary, Chapel Hill, etc), the more people with "southern hospitality" you'll find. Yes you can find a bunch of us within the cities that grew up in the country, went to college, and stayed around.
We will treat you like we would want to be treated and try to abide by the "if you can't say something nice" rules. In general I was raised to help others when I can and live within my means. I love talking to people I don't know, even if it's a short "hello" with a smile.
In all seriousness, "southern hospitality" is a state of mind. It's here and there. You can find it sporadically in the cities. If you can't, try instituting it yourself. Bake some cookies and take some to the neighbors, offer to help someone on the side of the road change a tire, hold a door, or just say a beaming smiley hello to everyone you see. It's the little things that make a difference. Something small can influence someones entire day and in general cause a ripple effect where they in turn do it to someone else or even back to you.
I agree that the area is unfriendly -only some country Southern types have been friendly . The nouveau riche are way too into their new status. It is lonely here and i have lived in many cities.
I thought the Atlanta Housewives was a reference to back stabbers, not an example of true southern hospitality.
I have lived in North and South and I find in general people in the north seem more pessimistic. Might just be my current town, but when I moved here people seemed to preach a lot of doom and gloom.
However, I have found many friendly people here, people who bake a cake when you move in, give you a ride when your car is in the shop, and watch your kids in an emergency. My conclusion: People in the north are just as friendly, we just don't see each other much from Jan-March when the weather is bad so we feel a bit isolated. Come May, we are hanging over the fence to chat, and if you have a cookout in July, folks will come and bring something. What more do you want?
Wow.....Im quite surprised at this thread. You want rude? Go to California! I lived there all my life and everyone was always in a hurry and not willing to smile and say hi as they hurried by. We are thrilled with how friendly everyone is here! No...they wont be happy every day but the difference here is amazing. We walk through our neighborhood in North Raleigh and most people we pass by say hi and wave. The only place I have run into rude people was on the freeway!
Wow.....Im quite surprised at this thread. You want rude? Go to California! I lived there all my life and everyone was always in a hurry and not willing to smile and say hi as they hurried by. We are thrilled with how friendly everyone is here! No...they wont be happy every day but the difference here is amazing. We walk through our neighborhood in North Raleigh and most people we pass by say hi and wave. The only place I have run into rude people was on the freeway!
We always hear more from the complainers than those that are happy. Think about it. How often do people complain when a cashier is rude to them but when someone is really nice, do they pay a compliment? Nope. Same here.
Every night we walk our neighborhood. It's about 1.5 miles around, currently. All we see are people walking or gathered in groups on the streets in front of each others homes. Everyone is smiling, saying hi and just happy to be talking to each other. It couldn't get any more pleasant.
If someone thinks the people here are rude, they may just be living in the wrong neighborhood. Each neighborhood is different.
Last edited by Green Irish Eyes; 09-05-2009 at 07:18 PM..
Reason: Deleted off-topic comments
I've always found that you get what you give. I grew up in the upper midwest, was raised with 'yes, ma'am', 'no, ma'am' and a wave at the neighbors as you drive by as an expectation.
I've been in NC 2 years now, and my new NC friends (since the day I moved here) have commented that I've become 'southern' because of my manners - and I'm always quick to point out that my behaviors have been the same for my lifetime!
To the OP - challenge yourself one day to be the initiator - the first to wave, to smile, to say hello - and see how many people respond in kind. And on top of that, see what a bit of a mood elevator it can be.
I'm far from "Miss Susie Sunshine" and those in my 'real' life would be quick to attest to the same. But on the street, among strangers - well, you just never know who you might meet. Give it a shot.
Now granted maybe it's because of all the stinkin Yanks moving down here (oops wait I'm one of em )......but I am not seeing this southern friendliness/charm which allegedly exists here. Not saying people are terrible or anything, but hardly so friendly, at least not in N Raleigh areas that I frequent (or other areas that I can tell, although I am there less often). This has been driven home to me as i have taken up walking around various neighborhoods......I pass many people walking along, and almost never will someone give me so much as a hello or smile. And if I do so first, usually I get back - at most - a barely polite (and rather terse) response/acknowledgement.
Again don't get me wrong, I have certainly met nice people, but generally I have always heard this thing about people in the South being so friendy ie much more than "up North" and I'm not seeing it at all.
Anyone else experience similar, or something very different?
Why don't you tell them you want to meet a person native to the area and see what they say. Doesn't sound to me like you are meeting North Carolina natives.
The only other thing I can think of is, "Did you take a bath, put on clean clothes and groom yourself before going on the walk.
There is always a reason why people behave like they do, you just have to figure it out.
One more idea: Are these men or women you are meeting along the way. It is just not safe out there anymore and I tend not to talk so much to men on the street. I might say a polite hello, but I would not be stopping and talking to a complete stranger. It is just not proper behavior.
Wow.....Im quite surprised at this thread. You want rude? Go to California! I lived there all my life and everyone was always in a hurry and not willing to smile and say hi as they hurried by. We are thrilled with how friendly everyone is here! No...they wont be happy every day but the difference here is amazing. We walk through our neighborhood in North Raleigh and most people we pass by say hi and wave. The only place I have run into rude people was on the freeway!
Where in California did you live? I went to Venice in '06 and made instant friends everywhere I went without even trying. People actually came up and initiated conversations in bars and other public places, which never happens when I go out in Raleigh, at least not anymore. And I don't mean that people were hitting on me, either. Just friendly chitchat. One morning about halfway through my stay I ran into a woman my age walking her dog and she spontaneously took me to a French cafe a few blocks away from the beach. It's rare to see that level of openness in NC.
Around here, everybody seems to go out with their friends and only talk to people they know. It's hard to meet new people and break the ice unless you have someone to introduce you. But then again, I've seen this in a lot of places, so it's definitely not exclusive to NC or even the South.
Wow.....Im quite surprised at this thread. You want rude? Go to California! I lived there all my life and everyone was always in a hurry and not willing to smile and say hi as they hurried by. We are thrilled with how friendly everyone is here! No...they wont be happy every day but the difference here is amazing. We walk through our neighborhood in North Raleigh and most people we pass by say hi and wave. The only place I have run into rude people was on the freeway!
Hummmmmm, when I returned back home (N.C.) after my year in W. Africa, I gave myself a 3 mo. vacation in California, Northern California, a few miles north of San Francisco, above Muir Woods (a fabulous place by the way) in the little town of Sebastapol. The people there were very friendly, at least half the town stopped by in my first two weeks, just to say hello and drop off a housewarming gift. It was one of the best three months I ever had.
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)......but I am not seeing this southern friendliness/charm which allegedly exists here. Not saying people are terrible or anything, but hardly so friendly, at least not in N Raleigh areas that I frequent (or other areas that I can tell, although I am there less often). This has been driven home to me as i have taken up walking around various neighborhoods......I pass many people walking along, and almost never will someone give me so much as a hello or smile. And if I do so first, usually I get back - at most - a barely polite (and rather terse) response/acknowledgement.
