Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My family and I are very friendly people and we moved here about a month ago from another Southern state, and I've been very surprised and disppointed at how unfriendly the general culture is around Raleigh. Noone at my new place of work says "hello" or "good morning" throughout the building.. we moved into a huge subdivision in Clayton and NO neighbors have dropped by to introduce themselves or welcome us to the neighborhood. The school nurse at my kid's school isn't even friendly. Alot of people around here come aross as WAY too reserved as well, like they are afraid of being nice or outgoing. With all of these posts and blogs and magazine articles saying how GREAT the Raleigh area is.. it's been very, very disappointing how unfriendly people are around Raleigh!
Clayton is FULL of transplants from many other areas; I would not say its population is indicative of "Raleigh" or the Triangle as a whole, and certainly not Raleigh natives.
But you've only lived here a month...give it time, and make the first move. Sometimes people need a little push? There are TONS of New Yorkers/Long Islanders in Clayton and I believe speaking to people on the street is not something done there, so it's new to them, too.
Are you living in Raleigh or Clayton? Because Clayton is not Raleigh and should not be confused as such. What about your office? I find people in Raleigh and Cary (I grew up in Raleigh, currently live in downtown Cary) to be VERY nice. On most days, I actually think how really nice people are around here and how much I enjoy the people I deal with on a daily basis whether it's the grocery store, the school or the bank.
I work in a company in which the same thing happens...people don't say hello unless you go out of your way to talk to them and even then they often only talk to the people in their own dept. It's lonely when that happens, so I feel your pain there.
As for the neighbors...the same is true of my 'hood. People will wave but I had to go out of my way to introduce myself to them and even now, almost 4 yrs later, they just wave hello when driving by and that's it.
I think you'll have to branch out from that to find friends. In the meantime, don't let other people's (lack of) friendliness stop you! Put a smile on your face and say hello first when you encounter people. If nothing else you might just brighten their day and perhaps they'll 'pay it forward' and smile at and say hello to someone else. I'm not being a Pollyanna...I know it can be hard to get established and believe me I know there are all kinds of people in the area (friendly, unfriendly and all types in between). I promise you though that if you be the friendly one and keep smiling and being pleasant things will get better over time. Maybe not in your 'hood and maybe not in the school, but as you go about your day, yes.
Yes, the company I work in is in Raleigh as well.
Thanks everyone for your views. Hopefully sooner than later we'll make some friends like we had back in our old neighborhood. I'm just saddened at how cold the reception has been thus far.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lottamoxie
I work in a company in which the same thing happens...people don't say hello unless you go out of your way to talk to them and even then they often only talk to the people in their own dept. It's lonely when that happens, so I feel your pain there.
As for the neighbors...the same is true of my 'hood. People will wave but I had to go out of my way to introduce myself to them and even now, almost 4 yrs later, they just wave hello when driving by and that's it.
I think you'll have to branch out from that to find friends. In the meantime, don't let other people's (lack of) friendliness stop you! Put a smile on your face and say hello first when you encounter people. If nothing else you might just brighten their day and perhaps they'll 'pay it forward' and smile at and say hello to someone else. I'm not being a Pollyanna...I know it can be hard to get established and believe me I know there are all kinds of people in the area (friendly, unfriendly and all types in between). I promise you though that if you be the friendly one and keep smiling and being pleasant things will get better over time. Maybe not in your 'hood and maybe not in the school, but as you go about your day, yes.
Yes, the company I work in is in Raleigh as well.
Thanks everyone for your views. Hopefully sooner than later we'll make some friends like we had back in our old neighborhood. I'm just saddened at how cold the reception has been thus far.
Hang in there! I'm friendly and fairly outgoing and it took me a couple yrs to settle in and at times it can still be a struggle. You really do have to make an effort and try not to take it all too personally, as hard as that is.
Start with some hobbies and things you like to do and then work on meeting people who share those same interests. That's a great place to find some commonality.
Don't expect your workplace to serve any social needs (cause they often don't, as sad as that is). And ditto neighbors. It's great if it does happen, but just don't expect it; look elsewhere for your social needs to be met. And be patient with yourself. It takes time.
ETA: one way to get integrated into your community is to find something in your community that you care enough about and volunteer. You don't have to make a major time commitment but it is a good way to meet people. It can be anything at all. Even just 1 hr a week.
Hang in there! I'm friendly and fairly outgoing and it took me a couple yrs to settle in and at times it can still be a struggle. You really do have to make an effort and try not to take it all too personally, as hard as that is.
Start with some hobbies and things you like to do and then work on meeting people who share those same interests. That's a great place to find some commonality.
Don't expect your workplace to serve any social needs (cause they often don't, as sad as that is). And ditto neighbors. It's great if it does happen, but just don't expect it; look elsewhere for your social needs to be met. And be patient with yourself. It takes time.
ETA: one way to get integrated into your community is to find something in your community that you care enough about and volunteer. You don't have to make a major time commitment but it is a good way to meet people. It can be anything at all. Even just 1 hr a week.
I've worked at several companies in the Triangle over the years, and I've found varying types of corporate culture.
In some, no one ever says "hello" or "good morning." At other places, everyone, no matter who they are, or whether or not you've been introduced, says hello when they pass you in the hall, and co-workers make an effort to be nice.
Usually, the larger the company, the colder the employees, but there can be pockets of happiness in departments within the larger companies.
You've been given good advice. You can't go wrong with putting on a happy face.
We moved to Clayton almost 3 years ago. All our neighbors personally introduced themselves, and we were invited to a block party within days of moving in. Everyone in our subdivision does the "NC nod and wave" anytime we see each other, or drive past. I've found it to be extremely friendly here!
My family and I are very friendly people and we moved here about a month ago from another Southern state, and I've been very surprised and disppointed at how unfriendly the general culture is around Raleigh. Noone at my new place of work says "hello" or "good morning" throughout the building.. we moved into a huge subdivision in Clayton and NO neighbors have dropped by to introduce themselves or welcome us to the neighborhood. The school nurse at my kid's school isn't even friendly. Alot of people around here come aross as WAY too reserved as well, like they are afraid of being nice or outgoing. With all of these posts and blogs and magazine articles saying how GREAT the Raleigh area is.. it's been very, very disappointing how unfriendly people are around Raleigh!
Welcome to Raleigh I hope things get better! Believe it or not...we are nice folks Just go around and ask folks where they come from...i'm sure you'll be surprised a lot aren't originally from here.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thanks Lottamoxie and Happy Holidays
