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I met this guy in a nightclub, and we texted each other alot for the first month that we knew each other, and we went on one date together, to a local pub. He wanted me to go to a comedy club with him at first in another area, but because it was only our first date, i felt more comfortable meeting up with him locally. He went to the comedy club with his friend instead, but kept texting me while he was out saying that he missed me ( even though he hardly knew me ). When we did go on the date, it seemed to go well, and we found that we liked the same music and films. However, during the second month that we were in contact, he started to text me less , until eventually, he told me that he didnt think things were going to work out between us. I was really hurt at the time, as i wanted to continue dating him. I said some things i probably shouldnt have done in my last text to him at that time, because i was hurt and angry. He blamed not seeing me on him being too busy with work at the time, but i dont think that was the reason. I've heard people use that as an excuse before. I wouldnt be surprised if he was in touch with another woman at the time, or if things just faded out because he was very young and immature. That was three years ago. I was 23 at the time we met, and he was 21.
I found him on Facebook in around March 2008. I sent him a message, asking him if he'd like to keep intouch as friends, but he never responded. In around May last year, i plucked up the courage to send him a friend request, and, to my surprise, he accepted the request. I sent him another message asking how he was, and told him what i had been up to, but he didnt respond. I hadn't checked his page before i sent the message, and when i did check, i found out that he had a girlfriend. Then, a few months later, his girlfriend became pregnant. I posted some comments on the photos of his daughter soon after she was born. Last Tuesday, i was on Facebook pretty late at night, when all of a sudden, he sent me a message on the instant messenger ! . I was really shocked !. He sent me the message the minute i logged in !. He said " hey you there ? " and i said hi and asked how he was and he said " great, how's you ? " and i said i was ok. Then he said " how's life treating you ? " and put two questions marks. I answered him and said his daughter was lovely, and he said " sounds like you'll have an eventful year !. i cant thank you enough for the kind words you said about my child's photos. it meant tons to me and even more to my girlfriend at that time ". i said " you're welcome, and yeah it will be an eventful year ! ". then he said " it was lovely speaking to you, take care and have fun !!! " , and then he added " and keep in touch too ". I said i would then he put five kisses !.
I'm wondering what his intentions are for getting in touch with me again, especially as we hadn't spoken to, or seen each other, for three years, and he hadn't contacted me on Facebook before. . Somehow, i dont think he wants a friendship with me, because why would he want to be friends with someone he was once attracted to, and someone he only knew briefly ?. Then again, maybe he feels bad about what he did now, and maybe he is more mature than he used to be ?. I'm not sure if i still have feelings for him, or if i'm just wondering " what if ? " , you know, what would it have been like if we had continued dating a few years ago . I'm curious as to why he wants to keep in touch though. I feel bad because he has a girlfriend and a baby, in case he is trying to start something with me, but i cant help what i think about him too. I'm going to keep myself busy though, and see my friends, and try not to let it get to me too much. I have also dated a couple of other guys since i last saw him, so its not like i put my life on hold for him. I think he seemed really eager with everything he wrote, especially with putting two question marks, three exclamation marks, five kisses, messaging me straight away, e.t.c. Also, his girlfriend is 8 years older than him , and she lives closer to him, and i think they worked together, if that helps. I must admit, i was surprised that he got into a relationship and was expected a child so soon after i met him, i mean it hadnt been that long really. And especially with his girlfriend being older than him. I once saw a comment from another girl on his page and she said she was shocked that he had become a father, so i guess that says something too. What do you think about it ?.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 19,999,259 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by BethfromEngland
I met this guy in a nightclub, and we texted each other alot for the first month that we knew each other, and we went on one date together, to a local pub. He wanted me to go to a comedy club with him at first in another area, but because it was only our first date, i felt more comfortable meeting up with him locally. He went to the comedy club with his friend instead, but kept texting me while he was out saying that he missed me ( even though he hardly knew me ). When we did go on the date, it seemed to go well, and we found that we liked the same music and films. However, during the second month that we were in contact, he started to text me less , until eventually, he told me that he didnt think things were going to work out between us. I was really hurt at the time, as i wanted to continue dating him. I said some things i probably shouldnt have done in my last text to him at that time, because i was hurt and angry. He blamed not seeing me on him being too busy with work at the time, but i dont think that was the reason. I've heard people use that as an excuse before. I wouldnt be surprised if he was in touch with another woman at the time, or if things just faded out because he was very young and immature. That was three years ago. I was 23 at the time we met, and he was 21.
I found him on Facebook in around March 2008. I sent him a message, asking him if he'd like to keep intouch as friends, but he never responded. In around May last year, i plucked up the courage to send him a friend request, and, to my surprise, he accepted the request. I sent him another message asking how he was, and told him what i had been up to, but he didnt respond. I hadn't checked his page before i sent the message, and when i did check, i found out that he had a girlfriend. Then, a few months later, his girlfriend became pregnant. I posted some comments on the photos of his daughter soon after she was born. Last Tuesday, i was on Facebook pretty late at night, when all of a sudden, he sent me a message on the instant messenger ! . I was really shocked !. He sent me the message the minute i logged in !. He said " hey you there ? " and i said hi and asked how he was and he said " great, how's you ? " and i said i was ok. Then he said " how's life treating you ? " and put two questions marks. I answered him and said his daughter was lovely, and he said " sounds like you'll have an eventful year !. i cant thank you enough for the kind words you said about my child's photos. it meant tons to me and even more to my girlfriend at that time ". i said " you're welcome, and yeah it will be an eventful year ! ". then he said " it was lovely speaking to you, take care and have fun !!! " , and then he added " and keep in touch too ". I said i would then he put five kisses !.
I'm wondering what his intentions are for getting in touch with me again, especially as we hadn't spoken to, or seen each other, for three years, and he hadn't contacted me on Facebook before. . Somehow, i dont think he wants a friendship with me, because why would he want to be friends with someone he was once attracted to, and someone he only knew briefly ?. Then again, maybe he feels bad about what he did now, and maybe he is more mature than he used to be ?. I'm not sure if i still have feelings for him, or if i'm just wondering " what if ? " , you know, what would it have been like if we had continued dating a few years ago . I'm curious as to why he wants to keep in touch though. I feel bad because he has a girlfriend and a baby, in case he is trying to start something with me, but i cant help what i think about him too. I'm going to keep myself busy though, and see my friends, and try not to let it get to me too much. I have also dated a couple of other guys since i last saw him, so its not like i put my life on hold for him. I think he seemed really eager with everything he wrote, especially with putting two question marks, three exclamation marks, five kisses, messaging me straight away, e.t.c. Also, his girlfriend is 8 years older than him , and she lives closer to him, and i think they worked together, if that helps. I must admit, i was surprised that he got into a relationship and was expected a child so soon after i met him, i mean it hadnt been that long really. And especially with his girlfriend being older than him. I once saw a comment from another girl on his page and she said she was shocked that he had become a father, so i guess that says something too. What do you think about it ?.
I don't say this to be mean but you sound like you're reading way too much into his speaking to you. In fact, it sounds like borderline dilusional. And I'm not sure what to make of the bolded. I'd say let it go, move on and find someone who really does return the interest. I don't see it from what you posted here.
No offense, but it sounds like he was bored at the computer one night, you popped online, and chatting was better than sitting there being bored.
And I agree with Whyte Byrd. You're reading way too much into this. If I had a dollar for every time someone I once dated popped up on my computer screen, I could take you to lunch at a four-star restaurant. Sometimes they were curious to see if I was seeing someone. Sometimes they were drunk-keyboarding (I know--NICE). But most of the time, they just caught me online and felt like saying hi, and then boom, I don't hear from them for another year.
Not every interaction deserves analysis.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sophialee
Sounds like him and the old bag broke up, I wouldn't expect anything more than sex if I were you. If anything.
Well, crikey, if 34 is an "old bag," just put me out to pasture now, because 43 must be barely breathing.
Hi, i'm not sure if this means anything but we were on the computer at 3.00am. I had some time off work, so i was just checking messages before i went to sleep, but i dont know why he was online at that time, especially as he has a baby to look after.
I'm just wondering if it's worth staying in contact really. If i did, i'd let him initiate some of it, and keep the conversation casual and light. I guess i'm intrigued to know what would happen if he did contact me again. But, if i send a message and he doesnt respond, i wont send another unless he contacts me. And , as i said , i have a lot of events coming up, and i'll hang out with my friends, so it isn't like i'll be putting my life on hold for him.
I spoke to a friend about this too, and she said he could be feeling overwhelmed because he is a new parent, and because maybe his girlfriend is more mature than him and wants him to be more committed, whereas he might be more immature than her, and my friend thinks he might miss the single life at times, as just a few years ago, he was single and going to clubs, e.t.c. She also thinks he was being " cute " in his messages to me, and was testing the waters to see how i would react.
The thing is, we didnt exactly date, and we werent friends , and he hardly knows me at all. So, why couldnt he have contacted an ex girlfriend or one of his female friends or something ?. I dont know, that just seems to make more sense to me.
No offense, but it sounds like he was bored at the computer one night, you popped online, and chatting was better than sitting there being bored.
And I agree with Whyte Byrd. You're reading way too much into this. If I had a dollar for every time someone I once dated popped up on my computer screen, I could take you to lunch at a four-star restaurant. Sometimes they were curious to see if I was seeing someone. Sometimes they were drunk-keyboarding (I know--NICE). But most of the time, they just caught me online and felt like saying hi, and then boom, I don't hear from them for another year.
Not every interaction deserves analysis.
Well, crikey, if 34 is an "old bag," just put me out to pasture now, because 43 must be barely breathing.
LOL well she mentioned so many times how she was "older" I just had to say it.
Hi, i'm not sure if this means anything but we were on the computer at 3.00am. I had some time off work, so i was just checking messages before i went to sleep, but i dont know why he was online at that time, especially as he has a baby to look after.
I'm just wondering if it's worth staying in contact really. If i did, i'd let him initiate some of it, and keep the conversation casual and light. I guess i'm intrigued to know what would happen if he did contact me again. But, if i send a message and he doesnt respond, i wont send another unless he contacts me. And , as i said , i have a lot of events coming up, and i'll hang out with my friends, so it isn't like i'll be putting my life on hold for him.
I spoke to a friend about this too, and she said he could be feeling overwhelmed because he is a new parent, and because maybe his girlfriend is more mature than him and wants him to be more committed, whereas he might be more immature than her, and my friend thinks he might miss the single life at times, as just a few years ago, he was single and going to clubs, e.t.c. She also thinks he was being " cute " in his messages to me, and was testing the waters to see how i would react.
Whatever it means, he's got a baby and possibly a committed relationship. Do you really see a future with this guy ? Move on, it's been years, the reality is you keep contacting him and hoping for something... any maybe you caught him at a weak moment now but the reality is .. is that the kind of guy you'd want anyway? It's not like it's been years and he contacted you.. you have been badgering him on a regular basis and trying to establish contact.
BTW it's not so odd for a new parent to be up at 3am.
That would be the online equivalent of the "drunk dial" You mention it was late at night, we was probably bored, drunk, and wanted someone to talk to. I wouldn't think anything more then that.
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I'd say let it go, move on and find someone who really does return the interest. I don't see it from what you posted here.
