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NOTE: I am NOT placing this ad on Craigslist, and the qualities described in the ad are not what I am looking for. This is another person's prospective ad.
Single white male, 25, seeking long-term relationship and prospect of marriage with SWF, 18 - 22. Me: Spiritual, religious, profound, intellectual, Ph.D candidate, 5'7", 220 lbs.
You: Equally religious and profound. Must have at least a "C" cup size ("D" or higher preferred) and be between 5'1" and 5'5", and not be a BBW. Sorry, I just don't like fat chicks.
E-mail me back with a picture and short bio. You MUST include a REAL picture, or I won't even consider you. Thanks.
Ideas and concepts can be profound. A sudden insight might be profound. But describing yourself as profound? Just seems a little odd...
I think he might also want to remember that on CraigList, women gets lots of responses, and men get very few. Since he has such strict ideas about what he wants, he might be better off responding to ads from women who fit what he wants, rather than expecting them to find him. Because frankly, that ad is not impressive - he comes across as shallow and negative - and I sort of doubt that's the impression he's hoping for.
I think describing anyone between 20-25 as "profound" is just hilarious. Nothing against the youngsters but that's a pretty lofty statement for one so young. I guess I think of that describing someone with lots of life experience and wisdom... but hey what do I know. LOL
Below is my list of the Top Ten Most Overused Phrases In Personal Ads. If YOUR ad does not contain any of the following phrases, please contact me immediately!
10) "I live life to the fullest!"
(Is this really the most profound philosophical statement you can come up with? Dig a little deeper, Nietzsche.)
9) "Loves to laugh" or "Fun-loving"
(Alright! A person who enjoys laughter and fun. What a rare individual; I must meet her at once. Just once I'd like to see "loves to sob uncontrollably for days on end.")
8) "I'm ____ years old but I look MUCH younger!"
(Sure you do. And if I just did a couple more sit-ups, I could still make the Giants starting lineup. Is self-delusion great or what?)
7) "I'm a down to earth..."
(If I see this phrase one more time, I'll... I'll... I don't know WHAT I'll do! I might be forced to actually turn off my computer and go interact with people in the REAL world. Okay, I probably wouldn't do anything THAT drastic. But you get the idea.)
6) "I can go from jeans to a cocktail dress in 10 minutes!"
(You must be very proud. I can't believe they haven't made this an Olympic event yet.)
5) "I'm a intelegent..."
(If you can't SPELL intelligent... do you see where I'm going with this? Class? Anyone?)
4) "I'm a typical (insert astrological sign here)."
(Astrology? Yeah, it's a science. I think they use it at NASA. I don't even know where to begin here. If you're looking for some insight into the nature of my character, don't ask me what my sign is. Talk to the Easter Bunny, he has the real inside track on me.)
3) "I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed!"
(Trust me, I will.)
2) "Looking for THE ONE" or "Looking for my Soulmate"
(Really? These are the most fresh and original lines you can come up with? Your mother and I had such high hopes for you. Oh well, there's always trade school.)
And the Number One Most Overused Phrase In A Personal Ad is...
1) "Don't worry, I plan to loose [sic] the weight real soon."
(Ok, it's probably just me, but why am I still worried?)
Put them all together, and the end result usually looks something like this....
"Fun-loving, down-to-earth woman with 5 kids from 5 different fathers seeks a intelegint guy who loves to laugh. Must be in shape! I'm temporarily 50 pounds overweight, but don't worry, I plan to loose the weight right after I finish these fries! Must look like Brad Pitt and be no older than 35! I'm 49 but I look MUCH younger! I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed! I'm a Libra so I live life to the fullest! I get along best with Geminis who have six-figure incomes! Must have a big heart and a bigger house, cuz the landlord just kicked us out!"
Literacy is its only saving grace. Why any slim woman would want a short, fat, AND pretentious dude is beyond me.
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