The bar or club scene (girlfriend, woman, dance, kids)
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From my experience I found that the best bars for meeting people are usually in the business districts during happy hour or on a Friday night. Otherwise, a bar with a small dance floor in the back that plays a variety of music or has bands on weekends is more conducive to meeting someone rather than a huge nightclub with music blasting, lights flashing, with everyone who walks through the door thinking and looking as though they're are walking down the red carpet on their way to the Academy Awards. I worked in the club and bar scene for 20 years and to me the best places for meeting someone are the pubs/taverns and cocktail lounges within or on the outskirts of the city limits.
The nightclubs and dance bars usually have more fights though, since they typically attract a higher percentage of douchebags.
Years ago we had lots of Fun at a neighborhood bar (owner is a longtime buddy). Sometimes we had shuffleboard, pool, or dart tournaments. Dancing anytime. Jam sessions on weekends sometimes. A BBQ out back in the big lot about once a month when warmer. Just about everyone would bring some meat or a side dish. With some of the folks we were like family. We went camping, fishin' with them. Had a Great ol Time.... Some folks would park their RV out back, so they didn't have to drive home.
The American Legion, VFW, DAV would also let folks park overnight etc with their RV's.
We would have a pool during the Super Bowl & some other big games. Larry would bring in some extra TV's. We had a lot of FUN. Very seldom any problem.
Well, there are two kinds of bars: The local watering hole and the meat market. In my dating days, I never really liked going into the meat market, for exactly the reasons you described. But I always had good luck in the local watering hole.
I like watering hole-type places that have a good old school jukebox, maybe a few pool tables, and a good beer list. A friend of mine wanted to go to a nightclub for her birthday last year, and it was awful. It was loud, expensive, the music sucked, and everyone in there looked like they could easily audition for the cast of Jersey Shore. To get through it I imagined myself as Jane Goodall studying the chimps.
I always enjoyed going to mega clubs/clubs, lounges, upscale restaurants with bars, but mainly because I love getting dressed up. A lot of the time it was to feel the bass from the house and dance music reverberate through my body! I also enjoy the atmosphere of a lounge when they're playing downtempo/chill music. I just found I preferred locations where people made an effort in their appearance. I wasn't necessarily at these places to meet men, but I never crossed a guy off my list just because I met him at a club/lounge.
Bars are only good for birthdays, happy hours, and chick weekends. I haven't been to one on Long Island since I moved up here in 2007. Other than that, the most recent bar I'd been to is none other than Jilly's, in your town, JJ. My friend and I saw the very sad sight of a woman in her 60s sitting at the bar, wearing too much make-up, drunk as a sot, oblivious to the world around her except for the occasional handsome man who walked by. All I could think was, "Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl..." Granted, in my early 40s, I was one of the youngest ones in there, but still. It was sad.
I haven't been to a club in years. That wasn't really my scene, although it was good for going out with coworkers while at conferences as we all liked to dance.
Now? Meh. The only bars or clubs I'd be halfway interested in going to are not the kind that would be on Long Island. None of them here have dungeons.
Since I was a "jeans" man, going to a lounge was just too classy for me. But, found some "too classy" of ladies in country music nightclubs also. The type of lady that I could NOT afford to take out......that was fact!! And, they would only wear Western clothes/boots on Fri or Sat night to go to a nightclub....definitely not my type! "Don't like getting those nice/shiny boots dirty"......absolutely don't get around me outside of a nightclub! My type was, my "now" wife......Roper jeans, lace-up Roper boots, Resistol hat. She stole my heart! Plus, she loved horses and rodeo. Didn't get any better than that.......YAHOO!!
I wasn't into the small bars either. A "match box" size dancefloor just wasn't my thing! Didn't really like rock and roll nightclubs after I found out that slow dancing was done more in Country music nightclubs. I just happened to have liked "up close" slow, slow, SLOW dancing! I use to rip the floor apart doing a Texas Swing with a lady that could keep up with me!
If a person has the right kind of personality, a nightclub is a great place to "let your hair down", but meeting someone there for a long-term or lifelong relationship......well
I haven't been to a bar or club in a few years (maybe once or twice in the last five years?), but I know these are popular places to try to meet people. I hear and read many conflicting messages, though, and I don't understand why they are so many people's top choice.
Some women go with their friends to hang out and maybe dance. They are annoyed when men try to talk to them. Other women go with their friends to meet guys and maybe hook up. They are annoyed when men do not try to talk to them.
It's often very loud inside, which inhibits pleasant conversation. "How are you doing this evening?" "What?" "I said, HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS EVENING?" "The cows are MOOING? What cows?" "WHAT?"
Some people see a woman by herself as a barfly, a cougar, only there for one thing. Or she is an uptight wallflower with no friends who obviously doesn't know how to have a good time. Don't try to talk to her, you perv. Oh, never mind, she does want you to approach--that sulky look is because nobody is talking to her.
Some people see a man by himself as a predator. Or a loser. So many people go in groups, which can be intimidating.
Maybe there is someone there who looks friendly and fun, so you strike up a conversation. Things are going well! Oops, he's married. Or gay. She has a boyfriend. This is a big reason I don't like to go there. My sister-in-law and I were kicking back in a little bar in Colorado, and two good-looking guys came over to talk to us. We were both married. I was flattered but felt a little bad for them.
So much about the bar or club scene does not appeal to me. Do you like to go? Do you meet a lot of likeable people there?
Hi JustJulia,
If only I could cut down on my catfish bill and put this social train wreck into some burlap to let it soak by the docks.
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. Some folks would park their RV out back, so they didn't have to drive home.
