Why Do Men Use A Different Standard For Men And Women When Looking For A Relationship? (dating, marry) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - City-Data Forum

MontanaGuy · 07-06-2010, 02:58 PM

The thread about dating someone who has done pornography got me thinking about how men seem to think that their own sexual history is just something to brag about if they've been very active but for some reason a woman who has engaged in certain activities such as stripping, pornography, prostitution or even just being sexually active has somehow demeaned herself. There's something men should stop and think about, strip clubs and the porn industry exist because men are willing to pay for it and it exists only because millions of men have created a market for it. The problem I have is that most men seem to think it's perfectly acceptable for men to do this but quite a few of them look down on the women who provide this service. There's no question in my mind that this is a double standard.
I could understand a man who wants a monogamous relationship who wouldn't want to date or marry a woman who is still making a living by having sex with other men. I wouldn't want that either but I see no reason why a woman who had been involved in some way in the sex industry might feel the need at some point in her life to fall in love and have a relationship just like everyone else and I don't think it's right for men to condemn her when many of those men have been involved in those very same activities except that they were paying for it. Does anyone else feel that this is a double standard and that it really isn't justified?

TKramar · 07-06-2010, 02:59 PM

I don't believe promiscuity is something to be proud of for either gender.

MontanaGuy · 07-06-2010, 03:03 PM

TKramer wrote:

Quote:

I don't believe promiscuity is something to be proud of for either gender.

I see nothing wrong with it unless someone is cheating on their significant other, whether it's a relationship or a marriage. I honestly see nothing wrong with having sex.

2mares · 07-06-2010, 03:07 PM

Quote:

I don't think it's right for men to condemn her when many of those men have been involved in those very same activities except that they were paying for it. Does anyone else feel that this is a double standard and that it really isn't justified?

yes. The old double standard.

JSizzle225 · 07-06-2010, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TKramar

I don't believe promiscuity is something to be proud of for either gender.

Wow, 2nd time today I've agreed. I haven't been promiscuous. And wouldn't be proud if I had.

OngletNYC · 07-06-2010, 03:09 PM

It's very simple. Men want to have sex with "whores" but don't want to commit to them.

There must be some sort of natural drive behind it, because to be honest, any man I have known who actively dated porn stars & strippers all have been rather screwed in the head in one form or another.

Honestly, does anyone have a friend who dates strippers who still seems like a normal, upstanding guy? I'll spot you one stripper, perhaps he's just an unusually open man... what about those guys who have dated lots of strippers? I've never met one who didn't give me the creeps.

JSizzle225 · 07-06-2010, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngletNYC

It's very simple. Men want to have sex with "whores" but don't want to commit to them.

There must be some sort of natural drive behind it, because to be honest, any man I have known who actively dated porn stars & strippers all have been rather screwed in the head in one form or another.

Honestly, does anyone have a friend who dates strippers who still seems like a normal, upstanding guy? I'll spot you one stripper, perhaps he's just an unusually open man... what about those guys who have dated lots of strippers? I've never met one who didn't give me the creeps.

I have a friend that dates strippers. He is not as much of a friend as he used to be. He is screwed up in the head big time.

TKramar · 07-06-2010, 03:11 PM

I don't know anyone who's dated even ONE stripper--except maybe in his mind.

GeorgeLucasLongLostChin · 07-06-2010, 03:16 PM

In my personal experience, it's more women who judge promiscuous women or sex workers than men.

Must also depend in which area you live.

A lot of guys though want their long term partner to be "pure" and then falling back on "wh*res" when they realized their virgin SO is awful in bed.

DennyCrane · 07-06-2010, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TKramar

I don't believe promiscuity is something to be proud of for either gender.

I agree, but the OP makes an excellent point. Think about how often people are curious about their partners sexual history. How many people have you been with? It's something a man both wants to know and doesn't want to know. He may have been with lots of women, but if she's been with lots of men, that's a turn-off. Notice the double standard. That's why I cringe whenever people hold up a show like Sex & the City as an example of female empowerment. Sleeping with lots of men isn't a step forward for feminism. It's actually a step backward. If you took that show and made it about 4 men sleeping with all the women in New York, sure some guys would think it's entertaining and even find themselves wishing they could be like those guys. But it doesn't change how we should look at those guys or what we think of them.