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I don't think men lose interest in women at 40 per se, I just think a lot of times a person, note I said person, cause this goes both ways, I think by the time you're 40 you've been hurt a few times and sometimes that hurt turn to bitterness and bitterness turns people ugly.
This causes people to recess.....
I also think sometimes the libido does slow down a bit, at least enough to not be lead around by your joint as much as when you were 25.....
Those combined things would probably "appear" to cause someone to lose interest in the opposite sex.
Ruth4Truth: <laughs>, This particular thread began with a question; "True or False: Lots of men in their 40's lose interest in women". While I can't verify what the percentages are, I can speak for myself, and have here. Several questions about what could cause this to happen have been posted as well. I found the thread through curiosity, since I was unaware until recently that what I had seen as simply a personal choice was apparently common enough to warrant multiple articles in major publications and even forum discussions. The last line of my previous post was not an attack, it was a genuine question. Apparently a lot of people find my choice to be a strange one, and I truly don't understand why. I must be missing something. There must be some reason I should feel differently. I just wish someone could tell me what that reason is.
The reason is that there are guys in their 40's and 50's out there who do meet and marry great women. They're not posting blogs about it though, they're too busy enjoying life and the *ahem* benefits of marriage or an LTR.
But if you've given up, then fine. Roll yourself up into an angry, bitter little ball. Good protection against further disappointment. And against future happiness.
P.S. "Career women" have a way of turning into traditional stay-at-home moms, if that's what you're looking for (I guess I missed that in your posts.) I can relate about being work-oriented in some of those contexts, but the thing is, sometimes the unexpected can happen. /quote]
It isn't because they aren't already stay-at-home moms, it's because women who have spent years focusing on career tend to be agressive, combative, and not at all sweet or afectionate. Maybe it's because they have fought so hard to excel at their careers, or maybe they only chose the career route because of this. I'm not knocking them for it, but those are not attractive qualities to me personally.
It isn't because they aren't already stay-at-home moms, it's because women who have spent years focusing on career tend to be agressive, combative, and not at all sweet or afectionate. Maybe it's because they have fought so hard to excel at their careers, or maybe they only chose the career route because of this. I'm not knocking them for it, but those are not attractive qualities to me personally.
It really depends on the career, and on the person and how she handles a high-pressure career, if that's what she has. I know career women who are far from combative and aggressive. That just sounds ridiculous, though there must be some women like that out there. But you can't write off a huge demographic like that as being of only one type. Reality doesn't work that way.
The reason is that there are guys in their 40's and 50's out there who do meet and marry great women. They're not posting blogs about it though, they're too busy enjoying life and the *ahem* benefits of marriage or an LTR.
There are obviously men at any age who meet people who are good matches for them; that has nothing to do with the odds of my finding someone who would be a good match for me. As for the "*ahem* benefits" you mention, that's very vague for one, and secondly what they consider a benefit might not seem as much of one for me, especially considering what men today are required to risk for it.
Your point about ruling out a demographic is valid; I admit that is a shortcoming of mine.
Last edited by Nopressurepeer; 12-31-2013 at 01:55 PM..
Reason: P.S.
There are obviously men at any age who meet people who are good matches for them; that has nothing to do with the odds of my finding someone who would be a good match for me.
Well, you might improve your odds by examining why you've chosen a number of friends who ended up backstabbing you in the worst possible way. Not to mention choosing a spouse who did the same. And a lot of airheaded dates.
I don't know how long ago your divorce was, but maybe you just need time to get over it all. Divorce, and being backstabbed by multiple friends, can be traumatic. It can take years to recover from that. Give yourself time, if you haven't already. There are psychologists who specialize in trauma, btw, and who help people move their anger, grief, whatever it is they're stuck in. Just saying.
But if you've given up, then fine. Roll yourself up into an angry, bitter little ball. Good protection against further disappointment. And against future happiness.
Why do you assume I'm bitter? Because I dare use my mind and experience to decide the direction of my life rather than relying solely on random emotional moments or the expectations of society? I have long since forgiven my first wife, and we get along well now. We will obviously never date again, but that doesn't mean I hate her. I simply see her now as "my son's mom". I'm not really "angry" either. A bit disappointed, definately disillusioned, but things are what they are and that's all there is to it. That divorce was 13 - 1/2 years ago.
Last edited by Nopressurepeer; 12-31-2013 at 02:07 PM..
Reason: added
Why do you assume I'm bitter? Because I dare use my mind and experience to decide the direction of my life rather than relying solely on random emotional moments or the expectations of society? I have long since forgiven my first wife, and we get along well now. We will obviously never date again, but that doesn't mean I hate her. I simply see her now as "my son's mom". I'm not really "angry" either. A bit disappointed, definately disillusioned, but things are what they are and that's all there is to it. That divorce was 13 - 1/2 years ago.
hmm, well, OK. Your posts sound angry and bitter, but maybe that's partly due to the thread topic, and partly due to the difference between the written word and the spoken word. idk. Whatever works for you. If you want to throw in the towel, so be it. I can see why you would.
hmm, well, OK. Your posts sound angry and bitter, but maybe that's partly due to the thread topic, and partly due to the difference between the written word and the spoken word. idk. Whatever works for you. If you want to throw in the towel, so be it. I can see why you would.
Apologies if my posts sounded that way. I really am bad at conveying my emotional state in print. (except when I expressed frustration about being judged as "damaged" somehow because of my choices, the rest was meant to be purely a rational discussion).
Last edited by Nopressurepeer; 12-31-2013 at 02:27 PM..
Reason: added quote
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