Hanging out with people who are vastly different in age (house, insecure)

[nimchimpsky]

I have friends in their 40's, 50's. I spend time with a couple in their 60's about three times a week. For me, age doesn't matter in friendship. If I can relate to the person, and we get along, I'll be their friend.

[nimchimpsky]

Originally Posted by 43north87west

Let's face it--someone who is 50 and someone who is 22, don't have a whole lot in common from the social angle. There is usually something else that fosters these widely spaced relationships. For some it's sex, money, attention, validation, stability. Sometimes hobbies and sports attract a wide variety of people of different ages, but I rarely see them hanging outside of those events.

Edit: I read a few other posts about some widely spaced relationships with older people. There is truth to that. Older people have the advantage of perspective, and that's often a valuable thing to someone who might need a bit of advice. It probably works both ways. I just see people 15 years my junior as being needy. Below that, they're bordering on children, and I never really wanted to raise children.

Really? Some of the people I have the most in common with are in their 40's, 50's, and 60's. I hang out with a couple in their 60's about three times a week. I'm not their "child" either. They don't act parental with me (that would annoy the hell out of me if they did). We are friends in the most genuine sense.

Regarding the hobbies bringing different groups together, that's true to a certain extent. Part of the reason I met this couple and we are friends is because he is the only other deafblind person in my town, and she is an interpreter for the deaf, so they both know tactile ASL. But that just brought us together. We hang out outside of deaf events, and very few of the things we do together actually have anything to do with sign language/deafness.

I have another friend in her 40's, and we love to go out to eat, go for coffee, and go for ice cream. We just enjoy each other's presence. Age just doesn't matter to us. We're both really into cooking and food, but we do other things together too.

I do have some friends in their 20's but they are unusual for their age, like me.

[Raena77]

I have a friend that is 52 and I'm 32 so what? Are you that insecure you need to make age a big problem?

[Huckleberry3911948]

for women an old guy is great, he only occasionally bothers you and is generous.

[Iamrita]

Originally Posted by cl723

I`m basically talking about a 30 year difference. A 50 yr old and a 22 year old. Not people who are 30 hanging out with a 45 year old or even dating,etc. I`m talking about someone who is old enough to be the parent and they hang out and do stuff together. A 50 year old has lived life, a 22 year old barely understands what life is all about.

So, just what is the core issue or agenda that seems to be bothering you? Specifically--- is it an older woman hanging out with a younger man? or something else?

[Mikala43]

I don't understand. People have friends of all ages. While those with a large age gap my not have a lot of commonalities, when you find your passions coincide with another's age doesn't matter.

[bluesky42day]

I'll chime in here as well, I'm 26 & have friends in their 20's-50's. I genuinely care about each one of them & value their friendships. Who cares if they're old enough to be my parent, none of them try to parent me & I plan to be friends with them for life, regardless if I'm 26 & they're 59 or I'm 40 & they're 70. Not one of my older friends tries to "act young" or hit the clubs, it's a mature intellectual connection.

When you mature, hopefully you'll realize what great relationships you're missing out on & not limit yourself based on numbers.

Courtney

[Neemy]

I've got friends in their early 20s all the way up to my parents' age. 60s or so.

I remember when I was 23, and working as a vet tech in Florida, I was training an older woman who was 53, as a receptionist (I worked both positions). She was awesome, and we became really good friends. She wasn't easy to train - I would have her answer the phone, and she'd start cracking up for no reason (okay, okay, I admit, I was usually the instigator...) , so I'd have to take the phone from her, while she was doubled over in laughter. Quite a character! She finally got it together. It felt weird "training" someone older than me, and she would joke about being trained by "a kid", but it was just something we'd kid each other about. Anyway, after I left that job for another, I would stop by the vet clinic on her lunch break and we'd hang out. She was so funny, and had such an infectious laugh. I had just gone through a miscarriage and was newly married, living in a new state, and it was just impossible to be miserable around her. The age didn't ever come into play.

I have friends now who are 60-something. They're the parents of my friends, and we all hang out and bbq in the summer until all hours of the night. And my friends' kids, who are now in their early 20s, are right there with us. It's a lot of fun. I think if you're sticking strictly with your own age group, you're missing out on a lot.

Depends on the people, though. Some people my age became cranky old farts at 25.

[Mooseketeer]

I'm 42 and the few friends I have range in age from 25 to 90. And I would say the 90 year old is darn sight more interesting and active than the 25 year old ones. The 90 year old Lady is an old friend of my now late Grand-Mother who is simply fantastic. She took up the internet when her Husband died 8 years ago, now blogs, is constantly sending me emails and funny links. She also goes out a lot , every day, goes to the movies and art galleries, reads a lot and is about as up on current affairs and trends as you can be. She seems to know more about the latest trend than I do. I count her as one of my very best friend and will be devastated when she dies because she truly is such a wonderful, interesting, funny and intelligent human being.

Another great friend of mine is in his 70s and Hubby and I simply cannot keep up with him. If you try to phone him he is always gallavanting , on some foreign travels or doing something interesting. We have started to think the guy must be a spy as he is never home ! He is fun, funky and has the most brilliant sense of humour and I have never seen so many young women congregate around any man as they did to him when we got married last year. He was the biggest Babe magnet you could imagine...

He is charming, fun to be with, super active, intelligent, funny and has far more to say than the average person our own age IMO. He is true British Gentleman and meeting up with him for Dinner is always a great pleasure. I am NEVER bored in his presence. EVER.


I try not to judge people by their cover. People are people. An older body does not necessarily mean an old fuddy-doddy boring soul. I feel humbled in the presence of my older friends because they show me that one can grow old and be wise AND fun, AND active AND up to date on the latest trends.

As for my younger friends , one is a member of C-D and one of the most intelligent person I know and another two have pure hearts of Gold though I must admit with them sometimes the age gap can be a little more visible.

Video Games and staying indoors to play Guitar Hero when it's a glorious day outside completely puzzles me but I guess I still learn a different way of looking at things from them. We have some points of reference though others are lost on them or me which can be a little frustrating at times but we manoeuvre around those hurdles fairly well nonetheless.


I am happy to have friends of all ages and would even consider myself friends with an 11 year old little Neighbour I have known since she was 3. I try very hard to respect her views and to treat her as a proper human being rather than "just" a kid and she seems to appreciate it. I am very fond of her and she has taught me a few things . She is great fun to be with and I hope that I too will have taught her certain things about life.


I think we should stop putting labels on people and judge the individual. We are all unique and as such age does not have to be a barrier.

If you have interests in common, the same sense of humour and the right chemistry than you can click with people from almost any age. I know it's true for me.

[miu]

Originally Posted by cl723

What do you think of a person who is 50 hanging out with a 22 year old? What in the world does a 50 yr old have in common with a 22 year old?

Originally Posted by cl723

I`m asking about this as 2 people who are friends not dating.

When I was in my mid-forties, I had a couple really good platonic male friends in their early to late twenties. And what we had in common was a love for cars and motorsports. We were members of the same autocrossing club and we would get together to work on each other's cars.

Now I am in my early fifties. Most of my co-workers are college kids or in their 20's. Physically, I can keep up with them. With some of the women, I can lift more than they can and am a better multi-tasker. I get along great with them and occasionally we hang out together after work. With the females ones, I talk about work, men and life. With the guys, I talk about cars and life.

I have friends of all ages. People should not be defined by their age. If someone has a birthday, I just wish them a simple "happy birthday", I never say "happy (insert age in years)th birthday".