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I think your feelings are a normal part of adjusting to a new place. You may have put a lot of emotional energy into your attraction to your co-worker. Part of that may have distracted you from how you are feeling about your move and your ex. Part of it is just plain homesickness and a desire for things to feel normal and comfortable again.
I don't think you need therapy. You just need more friends. Find some elderly or otherwise physically challenged people who need a helping hand on a volunteer basis. Many people who are isolated through no fault of their own are looking for people to talk to. Then you won't need to dwell on your own sad self.
I think your feelings are a normal part of adjusting to a new place. You may have put a lot of emotional energy into your attraction to your co-worker. Part of that may have distracted you from how you are feeling about your move and your ex. Part of it is just plain homesickness and a desire for things to feel normal and comfortable again.
I don't think you need therapy. You just need more friends. Find some elderly or otherwise physically challenged people who need a helping hand on a volunteer basis. Many people who are isolated through no fault of their own are looking for people to talk to. Then you won't need to dwell on your own sad self.
I think you might be right. She's also there without any friends (not sure if she made any yet) and probably put more into the attraction of the guy at work than she normally would.
cpg is right though. You should get out there and do whatever hobbies you have and you'll meet others
I think your feelings are a normal part of adjusting to a new place. You may have put a lot of emotional energy into your attraction to your co-worker. Part of that may have distracted you from how you are feeling about your move and your ex. Part of it is just plain homesickness and a desire for things to feel normal and comfortable again.
I don't think you need therapy. You just need more friends. Find some elderly or otherwise physically challenged people who need a helping hand on a volunteer basis. Many people who are isolated through no fault of their own are looking for people to talk to. Then you won't need to dwell on your own sad self.
I think volunteering is the best suggestion. Self-pity happens when you become to isolated and absorbed with yourself and your problems. If the OP gets out and volunteers, helps people with real problems, the loss of a boyfriend will seem pretty trivial compared with what other people go through.
Does your school have an alumni association in your city? I found that getting involved with my alumni association was a good outlet to meet people with common interests and backgrounds when I moved to a new place and didn't know many people. I ended up doing some charitable work for them and interviewing applicants. Now alumni associations have young alum meetups, trips, etc. Check it out if you haven't already.
Last edited by queensgrl; 09-24-2010 at 08:40 AM..
So last time I was here I told you guys I relocated to San Diego and was just doing the solo thing. Everything was going well until I started developing feelings towards someone at work (I know I know). Well got rejected by him today despite all the mixed signals he had given me. I decided to go out tonight to a party to meet people in the area. Ended up talking to a nice girl and exchanged numbers. Didn't meet really anyone else. Parties tend to make me freeze up because I get nervous in large groups. Anyway, on the way back home I started crying hysterically in the car thinking about my ex boyfriend who I haven't seen in maybe 8 months.
Now I am super stressed at work and still not settled at home here. My only friends are at work and my weekends are never long enough.
Should I go to therapy? I don't even know where to start with sharing all my problems
Relocation can take it's toll.
You may just be going through a short time of loneliness. It should pass.
Moving and relocation can be a major source of stress, up there with divorce and the death of a loved one. You don't sound like you need therapy to me. You sound lonely.
I think volunteering is the best suggestion. Self-pity happens when you become to isolated and absorbed with yourself and your problems. If the OP gets out and volunteers, helps people with real problems, the loss of a boyfriend will seem pretty trivial compared with what other people go through.
I am a special education teacher. I spend most of my weekend continuing work for that, as well as my evenings. I am doing a volunteer lake cleaning tomorrow to meet people. I have gone to temple events and everything. My only real friend is this 50 year old guy from work who hangs out with me at my house once in awhile to do laundry with me LOL. I do plenty to help people, but on the weekend, I really would rather do things I enjoy. I know that probably sounds vapid, but I already put in EXTRA hours of work in for my special needs students.
Does your school have an alumni association in your city? I found that getting involved with my alumni association was a good outlet to meet people with common interests and backgrounds when I moved to a new place and didn't know many people. I ended up doing some charitable work for them and interviewing applicants. Now alumni associations have young alum meetups, trips, etc. Check it out if you haven't already.
Not sure.
For fun things, I don't really want to do volunteer work or anything time consuming. I did find information for this get together at my temple where you join a "cluster" to meet people in small groups of similar interests. I will definitely give that one a shot, but it isn't for 2 weeks.
In the mean time, I still don't even have a coffee table, or anything in my bedroom aside from a bed! I spend my weekends finishing up schoolwork and getting settled physically in my house. I haven't been able to have as much as a social life yet.
Give yourself some time. It sounds to me like you would benefit from activities that will help reduce stress. Have you ever thought about joining a Tai Chi group? It's good for the body, mind, and soul.
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