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Hi. I'm in need of some objective advice. My friends and my mother say I'm insane but...who knows.
I'm 24, met a guy 6 months ago through my older brother. He's 30. Great guy, very nice, attractive, tall, lots of friends and a varied dating history. We have fun but there just isn't any spark or chemistry. He's great on paper, tons of fun, and a really good person but there are no butterflies or anything. I KNOW other women have just lost their minds over this guy (according to my brother) but he was never ready to settle down until he felt he had enough life experience.
I'm probably handicapping myself because I keep comparing him to my ex of 2 years ago. My ex could make my heart pound with a smile. But obviously THAT didn't work out. Plus my mother wasn't nuts about the ex and she let me know all the time.
I like the guy, I truly do. We talk every day and hang out and have fun. We go out on dates, met each other's friends, gone away to a concert out of town. I have a blast but it isn't romantic to me.
Everyone keeps telling me that he's serious and wants a commitment now and I'd be insane not to leap at the chance but still...while I find him to be attractive I'm not ATTRACTED. Does that even make sense? I'm twisted up.
I have a feeling once he gives up, moves on and is about to score a real g/f you're going to start liking him. That's just the way those kinds of things work.
Hi. I'm in need of some objective advice. My friends and my mother say I'm insane but...who knows.
I KNOW other women have just lost their minds over this guy (according to my brother) but he was never ready to settle down until he felt he had enough life experience.
Plus my mother wasn't nuts about the ex and she let me know all the time.
Everyone keeps telling me that he's serious and wants a commitment now and I'd be insane not to leap at the chance but still...while I find him to be attractive I'm not ATTRACTED. Does that even make sense? I'm twisted up.
It's easier said than done but you will continue to have problems until you start to live your own life. You rely on your mother and your brother entirely too much to determine who, what, and when is good for you. Like I said, it is easier said than done but start living your own life and it won't be as confusing.
Ask youself this, if your mother and brother hadn't been in the picture, would you still feel this way? Boooooooooooooom!!!!!!!!!
You are way too young to second guess your gut feelings. If you don't feel it, move along...what looks good on paper, but doesn't make your heart skip, will end up being a disappointment in the sack, with you thinking about your ex, while doing it....
It's easier said than done but you will continue to have problems until you start to live your own life. You rely on your mother and your brother entirely too much to determine who, what, and when is good for you. Like I said, it is easier said than done but start living your own life and it won't be as confusing.
Ask youself this, if your mother and brother hadn't been in the picture, would you still feel this way? Boooooooooooooom!!!!!!!!!
My family is extremely protective of me and while I appreciate it, I've let them sway me on things. It's embarrassing. Mother loves the guy, mainly because he's got a J-O-B. Brother likes him because they are really good friends.
If they weren't giving their kind yet overwhelming input...I'd probably try to ease into a platonic friendship with him. He's awesome! He's just not my normal type.
Thanks everyone. Yeah Timberline, I guess you can find people objectively attractive and not want to jump them. I have had male friends that I would set up on a date in a second but I haven't been interested romantically (nor they in me.)
Sugar, I hear you! A friend of mine is frustrated because either she likes a guy or he likes her but never at the same time.
JSun, I dunno. If he found another girlfriend and was happy, why would that make me like him? He's never really lacked in the romantic department and yet here I am.
If he's not doing it for you just break it off. There's no need to feel bad or apologize. It's not fair to yourself or him to stick around hoping things change.
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