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You're not a troll or a love interest. You are a friend. Nothing wrong with that as long as you are both on the same page.
I think of my male friends almost as brothers......and no, I don't want to have sex with them. EWWWWW.
Oh don't get me wrong. It's great to have females as friends. But when NONE of them, for years, sees you as more than a friend or brother, you know there is some problem with yourself. Yeah, I sure have lots of sisters but I keep being alone in other areas of life.
Oh don't get me wrong. It's great to have females as friends. But when NONE of them, for years, sees you as more than a friend or brother, you know there is some problem with yourself. Yeah, I sure have lots of sisters but I keep being alone in other areas of life.
This is wrong conclusion to draw. If you're able to be friends with women, don't believe that means there's something wrong with you. If anything, that's a plus cause it means women trust you. Sure it stinks to get stuck in the friends zone, but would you rather they lump you into the "he just wants to get in my pants" category and not even be your friend? One thing I've learned over the years is that if you have female friends that trust you, they'll be more likely to introduce you to their single female friends. Why? Because you've been vetted. They know you're not the typical jerk who uses women and then discards them. So instead of dwelling on the fact that none of your female friends are interested in you, why don't you let them help you meet people who will truly see you as more than a friend? You've got a big advantage over a lot of guys who have to spend a lot of time earning a woman's trust and proving they're not like every other guy out there. Make the most of it.
I feel sorry because it apparently hit on a raw nerve with him, but I don't agree with posts insinuating that she is egotistical or self-centered for saying that, it apparently was the truth. And it's a matter of fact sort of truth, she didn't say anything cruel about him (i.e., he was hideous, repulsive, or disgusting, it was simply the OP's wild imagination as to what implications her statement had). And it is something I've said to many boyfriends when asked about my apparently closeness to many guy friends.
I feel sorry because it apparently hit on a raw nerve with him, but I don't agree with posts insinuating that she is egotistical or self-centered for saying that, it apparently was the truth. And it's a matter of fact sort of truth, she didn't say anything cruel about him (i.e., he was hideous, repulsive, or disgusting, it was simply the OP's wild imagination as to what implications her statement had). And it is something I've said to many boyfriends when asked about my apparently closeness to many guy friends.
My point with this thread was never to say this girl was egotistical or hideous. My main problem with all of this is: I want to know WHY. What makes me so undesirable?
I mean, if I weighed 400 pounds then the answer would be obvious: I'm too fat. However, I can see no obvious dealbreakers, yet this kind of situation has been consistently happening.
I can only guess I have no dealmakers either, but that would a tough one to solve.
My point with this thread was never to say this girl was egotistical or hideous. My main problem with all of this is: I want to know WHY. What makes me so undesirable?
I mean, if I weighed 400 pounds then the answer would be obvious: I'm too fat. However, I can see no obvious dealbreakers, yet this kind of situation has been consistently happening.
I can only guess I have no dealmakers either, but that would a tough one to solve.
I don't even know you and I can tell you one dealbreaker.........your attitude. If you operate around women the way you have come off here, I can see why you get sorted to the friend zone.
Women don't like whiny, self-defeating men (sorry if that comes off harsh) but I am reading your words. Some people like to play the "woe is me" game as a way to gain sympathy. That's all and good if you want to be rubbed on the head like a puppy. Otherwise, don't wonder about why. Get on with living your life and don't make the mistake of going on a road trip with a women you know isn't into you and then sulking about it.
Remember, women are the most forgiving when it comes to physical attributes..... Work on your mental one.
My point with this thread was never to say this girl was egotistical or hideous.
Hmmm...I think you need to re-read my post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by carra
My main problem with all of this is: I want to know WHY. What makes me so undesirable?
You're abstracting WAY too much from this singular situation. There are many men I would never consider dating, and they are all not obese, hideous, or have terrible personalities. Why do you seem so bound in assuming she thinks the worst about you from such a simple statement?
I don't even know you and I can tell you one dealbreaker.........your attitude. If you operate around women the way you have come off here, I can see why you get sorted to the friend zone.
Women don't like whiny, self-defeating men (sorry if that comes off harsh) but I am reading your words. Some people like to play the "woe is me" game as a way to gain sympathy. That's all and good if you want to be rubbed on the head like a puppy. Otherwise, don't wonder about why. Get on with living your life and don't make the mistake of going on a road trip with a women you know isn't into you and then sulking about it.
Remember, women are the most forgiving when it comes to physical attributes..... Work on your mental one.
Come on! Of course I am different on a forum than on real life. Here, you are reading me trying to figure out and solve something negative that happens to me. Obviously I'm not going to sound happy!
Also, do I really come across as whiny here? Reading my own posts, I would say I tried to expose the situation as objectively as possible. Still I can tell you I have no problem having fun with friends, going out, meeting new people and the like.
I'm sure I can have seemed boring to some people in real life, but whiny? I don't think so...
To tell the truth, she was right. I knew I had no chances with her from long before that trip. And I hadn't gone there with her with those intentions. But still... knowing I am so easily discarded by girls, really shocked me! She said that as if she considered the idea plain absurd. Like I was the last troll of Mordor, or something. I was really offended. It made me really want to go and ask her why.
Quote:
Originally Posted by carra
Oh don't get me wrong. It's great to have females as friends. But when NONE of them, for years, sees you as more than a friend or brother, you know there is some problem with yourself. Yeah, I sure have lots of sisters but I keep being alone in other areas of life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by carra
My point with this thread was never to say this girl was egotistical or hideous. My main problem with all of this is: I want to know WHY. What makes me so undesirable?
I mean, if I weighed 400 pounds then the answer would be obvious: I'm too fat. However, I can see no obvious dealbreakers, yet this kind of situation has been consistently happening.
I can only guess I have no dealmakers either, but that would a tough one to solve.
Quote:
Originally Posted by carra
Come on! Of course I am different on a forum than on real life. Here, you are reading me trying to figure out and solve something negative that happens to me. Obviously I'm not going to sound happy!
Also, do I really come across as whiny here? Reading my own posts, I would say I tried to expose the situation as objectively as possible. Still I can tell you I have no problem having fun with friends, going out, meeting new people and the like.
I'm sure I can have seemed boring to some people in real life, but whiny? I don't think so...
Recently I went on a 5-day trip with a female friend of mine. Things went nice and all... then one of those days I overheard her talking on the phone with a guy friend of her (who she probably likes). When speaking about the trip with me, she laughed and said "No! He knows there's no chance for that at all".
To tell the truth, she was right. I knew I had no chances with her from long before that trip. And I hadn't gone there with her with those intentions. But still... knowing I am so easily discarded by girls, really shocked me! She said that as if she considered the idea plain absurd. Like I was the last troll of Mordor, or something. I was really offended. It made me really want to go and ask her why.
Any thoughts or similar experiences?
If its any consolation I just wanted to say that you seem to have a great sense of humour. I found the bolded part very funny.
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Work on your mental one. 
