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I am generally very depressed on thanksgiving day.
Everything is closed, not even panera is open. No gyms. No workouts. Jogging outside is boring. All malls are closed. Sometimes I have felt like Will Smith driving in I am legend. I have seen a few deers too.
People sometimes make me eat turkey and I puke all of it out in a couple of hours. The great American cooking
Anyway, it's depression day as all of the US is in holiday mode. Even Mrs Chamataka goes to visit her folks. Besides, I don't live in the same city as her now.
Any hot therapist wants to therapize one Antlered Chamataka. He's got the skin of the tan Gods. Awesome mane and is a total stud. Therapists, therapize me away, NOW
You are where I was many years ago. I went to university in another country at the ripe old age of 14. I had my masters at 19. I missed high school and yes, I felt plenty out of place.
That's where the similarities end. I embraced the challenges and made the best of every situation. Every time I felt bad I reminded my self that NONE of my contemporaries had done what I had done or seen what I had seen. I was proud of my past and what I had accomplished.
To me, the life you have led is a treasure. Homecoming....meh. I'd much rather touch the pyramids or see a jaguar in the jungle.
If you need help get it. Find what you need to do to be happy in your own skin. To make friends, you have to be one. You have to be able to give of yourself. You have to love who you are. You get to choose what path to take.
although i have now been a resident of Northern Va for 7 years, I am now 23 years old and still have not found a place to belong to here. so my story is really complicated. i grew up a diplomat's child, so there wasn't a lot of environmental or psychological stability in my life. i've lived in many continents of the world and have had to pack up and wrap up my life only to be forced to start over again in a totally new environment every 3-4 years. now at 23, i find myself absolutely bereft and forelorn and lonely and discontent.
i have not, over the years, been able to gather a close group of friends. i do have a few really good friends but they are scattered around the globe and i keep in touch with them though modern technology. because of the constant change in my life, i was always the new kid, and never fit in at school and by the time it seemed like i had found a place, i'd be forced to move, leaving what little friends i had made behind. i moved to the u.s 7 years ago now. i joined langley high school during the last semester of 10 grade. since i had missed the entire 10 grade pretty much, i spent the next two years of high school trying to play catch up with all the school work i had missed. i spent the last semester of tenth grade in my counselor's office taking online classes and the next two years i spent in freshmen and sophomore classes. everyone thought i had failed or something and that i was the oldest one in the bunch made it so hard to find friends. i'd spend lunch time in the library sitting in the stacks and after the day was over would promptly take the bus home while my classmates hung out in the parking lot chilling for hours. as it went, i graduated high school with practically no friends and no memorable memories. i never went to homecomming and prom, never joined any clubs and never got the "high school" experience as they say. then, i went to community college because i couldn't get into a decent 4 year program beccause of the problems in my education due to my move here. things didn't look up socially for me there either. i made like one friend, who wasn't very social herself and so the first two years of my college were also depressingly quiet and lonely. i never had friends to go to parties with or hot d.c to go clubbing with. i lived at home and my social life revolved around my family. then i transfered to U.Va. i couldn't adjust to the college socially in the short two years i had there either and have graduated now with like 1 friend in the entire school.
i now work in a job where there are no socializing prospects. i'm exactly where i was 7 years ago when i first moved to the u.s.
what is wrong with me?! how can i fix myself so that i can introduce quality relationships in my life? i'm always in tears and infinitely depressed at my miserable, lonely existence. i want friends, i want love, i want to find my place and belong to a social circle in northern virginia. now i'm kicking myself for not taking advantage of all the built in socializing opportunities at college. post grad life is even lonelier! what can a lonely 23 year old girl do to find her place and a social circle in this area?
PLEASE please help me!!
You need to quit thinking about the past. It's over and it can't be fixed.
But your diplomat Dad is not going to make you move anymore. You are on your own, and you have a job too. Start socializing among the professional circles around you. Generally people catch up in the pub. You just have to find out where and when.
Antlered, Thanksgiving is a great day to volunteer for "Meals on Wheels". They always need help delivering meals to elderly folks and others who are house-bound and alone during the holidays.
i used to go into counseling while at college and i found that it helped but was too slow a process. she was wonderful and i always felt so much lighter walking out of her office. i'm looking for a new therapist these days actually.
however, i think all the suggestions you guys have given in regards to taking active action are very important and true. my problem with most meet up groups is they tend to cater to older, more socially inept people. i am lonely but surprisngly and remarkably well adjusted...like, if you talked to me you wouldn't know half of the things i mentioned above. i just have a hard time meeting people my age with my interests. its been a series of bad lucks in a way because i havent had much opportunity to meet or mingle with kids my own age recently.
At 23 you're a kid compared to my age group, odd though you said you want to mingle with "kids" your own age. I'm with Loves Mountains on the therapy. Have anti-depressents ever been recommended? Overwhelming tears and depression could be chemical imbalance or genetically inherited. Depression tends to run in families.
Wheeeeeeee, loves, are you like a paid therapy advocate??
I bet you would recommend a therapist for half of my issues, stuff I somehow solve by myself, like putting up with gym closure for thanksgiving
Sometimes I just grudge 24 hours away. Would you recommend a therapist?
Now there's a career choice I had never considered, maybe I missed my calling? Just wondering why the idea of working out some of your issues is so intimidating to you?
At 23 you're a kid compared to my age group, odd though you said you want to mingle with "kids" your own age. I'm with Loves Mountains on the therapy. Have anti-depressents ever been recommended? Overwhelming tears and depression could be chemical imbalance or genetically inherited. Depression tends to run in families.
Prepare to be jumped on for even suggesting medication, lol.
If it hadn't been for medication, I probably wouldn't be here today.
I'm not ashamed to admit that.
Theres a stigma attached to seeing therapists and taking meds. I have friend who took in a boy who was bipolar, his parents didn't live together, but the father had drilled into his head that only crazy people take medication, so he didn't. Everyone had pretty much given up on the kid because no one could handle him.
Theres a stigma attached to seeing therapists and taking meds.
I've aired my views about suggesting therapy before so I won't get into that again, but when it comes to meds - now you're skating on thin ice.
Hypothetical situation - you suggest someone take meds, they go and get their scrip, they have a severe reaction to the meds, possibly even a fatality.
If you were not their physician of record, how would that make you feel? What about instead of such a drastic scenario, you simply gave them a new monkey for their back? Would that make it any better?
I'm also pretty sure that you've heard the argument that our society is over-medicated - do you want to contribute to their ammunition?
Yes, meds have their uses - my personal opinion (backed by years of conversations "off-the-book" with doctors, therapists and pharmacists) is that they are over-prescribed.
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what can a lonely 23 year old girl do to find her place and a social circle in this area?
