bf yelled at me for wanting cuddling (advice, personality, friend)
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I hate to cuddle. It drives me nuts. I don't think hes being a jerk at all. I tell my bf "hands off" when were in bed all the time. Your bf's entitled to feel comfortable so he should be able to tell you to back off if hes not feeling it.
I'd say it boils down to this: Does the man have other postive aspects that outweigh the negative of not being a cuddler like you are? Are you willing to give up a little bit of your cuddling needs for his personal space needs?
If no to both, let him go and find a man who enjoys having you in his arms, life too short compromise sometimes. I know, i've been there. Its not worth it.
I personally refuse to date a woman who doesn't like to cuddle and snuggle, its simply who I am and want to experience in a relationship. Woman who have such physical boundaries typically have other insecurities that I don't wanna deal with anyway. Lotta woman wouldn't wanna date me becuase I still play games and have Star Wars posters framed in my entertainment room even though im a very passionate, romantic and polite gentlemen at the same time. Thats fine, screw em. I dont' date woman who murder their bodies with piercings and exsessive tattoos. To each his own personal relationship happiness needs.
my bf of 7 months doesn't like to cuddle in bed. so i made it a rule that he has to give me 3 mins cuddle every night before he falls asleep
To request or make someone give you affection, tell you nice things, etc. It’s sad already. I rather have those things come up naturally than forced. If you are with a guy or girl that you have to force to do those things, you might be in the wrong relationship. What’s next, make a rule for someone to love you?
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however, i went to bed late last night and he's asleep, when i came join him he's half awake, so i asked him to cuddle me he says no, i insisted that i needed it, so he snapped and yelled " I DON'T FKING CARE"
Doesn’t care how you feel? How long are you planning to be with a guy like that?
You are not asking “for a lot”, it’s part of a relationship. Affection can be shown in different ways: verbally, physically, gestures, etc. So no, I don’t think you are acting childish. Has he been like this since you guys moved together or what?
As I said earlier, my ex loved to cuddle and snuggle as much as I did at almost any time. EXCEPT when it was bedtime and she absolutely had to have a undistrubed good nights sleep or she was a total biatch in the morning. That meant I couldn't cuddle or hug her in the middle of the night. I hated the restriction, and blew it a few times. But I grew to understand and respect her wish until the relationship ended for other reasons.
my bf of 7 months doesn't like to cuddle in bed. so i made it a rule that he has to give me 3 mins cuddle every night before he falls asleep.
however, i went to bed late last night and he's asleep, when i came join him he's half awake, so i asked him to cuddle me he says no, i insisted that i needed it, so he snapped and yelled " I DON'T FKING CARE"
he appoligized today saying he's being a jerk. i don't know what to think? did i ask too much or we both should grow up?
His outburst pretty well sums it up what hes all about...himself. Youre with the wrong man . Please dont get pregnant.
my bf of 7 months doesn't like to cuddle in bed. so i made it a rule that he has to give me 3 mins cuddle every night before he falls asleep.
however, i went to bed late last night and he's asleep, when i came join him he's half awake, so i asked him to cuddle me he says no, i insisted that i needed it, so he snapped and yelled " I DON'T FKING CARE"
he appoligized today saying he's being a jerk. i don't know what to think? did i ask too much or we both should grow up?
I will cuddle with you. We don't even have to have sex.
first of all, why the HELL does a woman have to have a 3 minute rule for cuddling? if you love someone, and you are in a relationship with someone, it is human, and natural, despite what some of you may think, to want physical closeness with someone. i really can't believe that so many people called this chick needy and insecure. i agree that she is insecure- because she is in a relationship with someone who sounds like they have the sensitivity of a pile of gravel. so obviously, the fact that her needs are not getting met is not much of a problem for her. which leads her to chumps like this.
and wanting physical closeness from your partner- you guys are acting like this is something inherently unnatural and too much to ask for. were you guys raised by wolves? strike that- wolves are much more loving than this. were you raised by a television set? how do you conduct your relationships? is it a dwight-schrute- style contractual obligation? insert, move about, dismiss? how are human relationships supposed to work?
seriously, the guy wakes her up for sex, and you guys are railing against this chick for cuddling him while he is asleep? you make it sound like she ran a parade through the bedroom banging pots and pans. is there ANYONE on this thread that has NOT lain next to their SO and wrapped their arms around them while they were asleep? I personally love that. and i am not needy nor insecure. i am human. if you love someone and are physically intimate with them and you have to MAKE them cuddle with you for three minutes? there is something desperately wrong with that. just as it would be wrong if he had to beg her for sex, or he had to say "we have to have sex at least once a week". all you guys would be shouting "DUMP HER!"
it never ceases to amaze me how rude people can be on forums in general. i bet HALF of you guys would never say these things in such a manner in real life. but forums are the new last bastion of the Coward, apparently.
anyway, OP, there is something wrong with this relationship. i don't think you are being needy, i think you are being a normal young woman. women tend to need more ordinary affection, not just a poke. and does anyone realize what the human touch does? ever heard of the studies done mid-century in orphanages, where orphans who were NOT cuddled literally DIED? what kind of morons are you people? (and yes, believe me, i would say that to your faces in real life, no problem). there is nothing wrong with wanting physical affection, period, and to say that this is something needy is really almost disgusting.
She asked for honest opinions from a public forum full of strangers. She got what she asked for--honest opinions. I'm not seeing anything rude here. In my opinion, you do not insist your partner cuddle you every single night for three minutes or else. Waking them up out of a sound sleep to cater to your little whims is inconsiderate, selfish, and immature.
I can't speak for every one else, but if the OP asked me for my opinion in person, I'd say everything to her face that I've said in writing. As a matter of fact, there isn't one thing I've posted on this forum or any other that I wouldn't be willing to say to someone's face.
Not sure what studies you are referring to where orphans died from not being cuddled, but please enlighten us. I call B.S. on that and your finger wagging.
You've made it clear to him that cuddling for awhile is an important need of yours, and it sound to me like he's trying to accept it. But expect times when he justdoesn'twantto! I'm sure there will be times (if it hasn't happened already) when he's in the mood for sex and you're not. He shouldn't force you into it then if it's the last thing you want.
You just need to learn to take him seriously sooner before he gets angry. Not a problem.
"No" is only a two-letter word. It's amazing how hard a time people have in saying or understanding that two-letter word.
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