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Take children of alcoholics - they have a greater chance of becoming alcoholics themselves and it has nothing to do with peer pressure and there are many more examples.
That's not peer pressure. Your parents aren't your peers or equals. You aren't looking to become your dad/mom. You aren't looking to fit in with your parent's. They're square, they don't understand us at all. Actually most are looking to avoid anything associating them with their parents. There are many examples of that...
Don't want to grow up to be my dad..
Don't want to end up like my father...
My parents are lame..
I can't wait to grow up so I can get away from them..
God, I'll never be like my father!
Peer pressure is you in a locker room and somebody lights up a joint, and 5 guys ask you if you're gonna be cool or not?
Peer pressure is that totally awesome girl your crushing on pulls you behind a wall and says "you're not lame, are you? Take a hit!
Peer pressure often involves you getting something, and respect for doing something you know is wrong. Most parents aren't asking
you to take a toke to prove yourself to them.
Opti, I'm an alcoholic. I grew up here on Long Island, 4 sisters, two brothers, an alcoholic mother, a frustrated but talented father,
and all so dysfunctionally love starved, living in a messy house where Mommy got drunk and Daddy beat Mommy bloody. Yes, drink was always in the picture and so was violence. As a kid, my siblings and I, all lived under a cloud of insecurity, low self esteem and every
other social stigma or handicap that clung to us, from the affected nest that we shared, from the parents that we watched in a common
interpretation and the notes and thoughts, that we seven shared, as children growing up together. You shoulda' been there.
I didn't want to be like my Dad then either, but somehow I am. He died at 45, back in '59. I understand his frustrations, more clearly
now, but I didn't know diddly-squat then. He was a talented man, so am I. He had "too many" kids. I have five of my own, but they are all
blessed, because I think the greatest feeling that I missed, as a young kid, was the feeling that I was loved, not just the consequence of
a cold night's passion, during a peaceful period of a somewhat fractured marriage. My kids don't have that feeling, I hold them, they are loved.
I certainly do agree that peer pressure is an overbearing factor, in the development of a personality, character, social behavior and
the whole person. Because getting drunk seemed so "everyday" in the household where I grew up, I gravitated toward the other kids who
saw no shame, in sneaking a beer or two outta the fridge, or whose parents smoked by the carton, and couldn't smell it on them, or notice
that missing pack or two, of the Viceroys or the Chesterfields. No, it wasn't a peer example that sent me off on my 50+ year engagement
with the cigarettes or for that matter, the booze. I used to make my cigarette money, by taking back my parent's quart bottles of Rheingold
or Ballantine, when empties were a nickel apiece and Camels were a quarter a pack.
If I were to succumb to peer pressure soley upon "fitting in and being accepted", what would separate me from being just like a lemming?
A lemming does not have a sense of logic, I do. A lemming doesn't have a conscience, I do. What is the worth of a lemming's brain as compared
to mine? Nothing. I would not buy an iPhone, just because I might be seen as "square" in the eyes of my "friends", that is, unless I really needed
to have a cellphone. I was 29 years old when I first used drugs, I smoked some pot and got hooked on my first buzz. My sister turned me on, I was
in my second week of attempted sobriety and during my first encounter with those darkened basement rooms of A.A. My sister taught me to get
stoned, A.A. taught me how not to drink. Funny, I guess that if the influence of those many associates that I rubbed shoulders with at A.A., could
be called "peer influence", I can sincerely agree about that.
Maybe, because we as humans were designed to be "goal strivers", a species with hopes, dreams and a target that we'd like to hit as we draw
back our bows, and aim our arrow of life. As I've heard before, "if you want to hit high, you must aim high". I tend to believe that there are many
people out there in life, who never even cared to, or were too blind to make that target, and if you'll ever stand to win in life, it's mainly because you
wanted to win hard enough to work toward your goal, peers not withstanding.
Is peer pressure always the cause towards drug usage and excessive drinkings?
No.
Take children of alcoholics - they have a greater chance of becoming alcoholics themselves and it has nothing to do with peer pressure and there are many more examples.
Quote:
Originally Posted by optiflex
No..
That's not peer pressure. Your parents aren't your peers or equals. You aren't looking to become your dad/mom. You aren't looking to fit in with your parent's. They're square, they don't understand us at all. Actually most are looking to avoid anything associating them with their parents. There are many examples of that...
Don't want to grow up to be my dad..
Don't want to end up like my father...
My parents are lame..
I can't wait to grow up so I can get away from them..
God, I'll never be like my father!
Peer pressure is you in a locker room and somebody lights up a joint, and 5 guys ask you if you're gonna be cool or not?
Peer pressure is that totally awesome girl your crushing on pulls you behind a wall and says "you're not lame, are you? Take a hit!
Peer pressure often involves you getting something, and respect for doing something you know is wrong. Most parents aren't asking you to take a toke to prove yourself to them.
I'm not sure what kind of point you were trying to make by removing the question I responded no to and what arguement you are making by your post. No, I do not believe that excessive drug use and drinking are ALWAYS due to peer pressure. Children of alcoholics supports this. Low self esteem is another factor which has nothing to do with peer pressure. Some people feel more uninhibited under the influence - another instance that has nothing to do with peer pressure. Curiosity. Peer pressure is exactly what is says - pressure to do it or try it. This not ALWAYS the case, while it often can be.
I've always had certain doubts about peer pressure playing a role towards some late teens using drugs or excessive alcohol consumption. I think that by the time someone is 15 years old and above, they should already know right from wrong as well likes/dislikes.
In my theory, if a straight-laced, honors student (assuming the teen is 15 or older) suddenly becomes destructive as a result of peer pressure/bad influence, it means they already had a predisposition towards this personality. In other words deep in their unconsciousness they wanted to rebel and always had those desires but restrained themselves from acting out until someone activated them.
I was 15 years old too and one of my female friend was a smoker but I always detested the smoke. I never liked drugs nor smoking and wouldn't have done it no matter how what. Why? I always thought it was stupid and gets you no where.
So this whole ''I was led to a destructive path for a way due to peer pressure'' sounds completely absurd to me. If that's the case then it just means the so called straight-laced child was a hypocrite in the first place.
This is similar towards stating alcohol caused you to cheat. It did not, you already had this desire to a while ago.
I would say that it is often the case but not always. Some do it to self medicate. Kurt had a undiagnosed chronic stomach condition most of his life that left him in extreme pain and discomfort. When doctors can't figure out what is the matter with you, what do you do? Well, you all know what he did. That unwise choice most likely helped cost him his life. It's not what I would have done, but as they say, the rest is history!
Well, I remember the first time I was offered drugs and I simply said "no". It was from a guy I really liked but I was never one to get into all of that. I drink and that's it. I have friends who smoke weed but I never got into that either. As for cigarettes, I feel like I don't know many regular smokers. It's weird but all the people I went to high school with looked down on the smokers. So there was no peer pressure there.
So the only real peer pressure is drinking which I do notice that people look at you funny if you are out at a bar without a drink in hand. At house parties it is easier to get away with not drinking if you don't want to. But with my group, you don't have to drink if you don't want to. No one really pressures anyone to take 6 shots of tequila with them. We may all go in and do a shot together but its fine if you don't.
I think certain people are drawn to harder drugs and its like wired in their personality. Like, its a form of escapism. So a person struggling with stuff needs to escape. However, I have known people to use drugs but not become full fledged addicts. Again, I think its the individual's personality type and likelihood of addiction.
I believe that the majority of people are educated about the effects of drug usage. We have seen the before and after pictures of meth heads after only 3 years of use, pictures of massive car accidents due to drunk driving, accounts from recovering addicts, etc...So in that sense, it is not as if people today are naively using drugs and alcohol. They know the risks and can decide to leverage them against their personal benefits.
So a person above 15 really should be able to make their own decisions. You won't be ostracized if you wish to abstain from drugs and alcohol. In actuality (well in my case), those who used hard drugs were not "cool" but outcasts at my high school. In college, the people I hung out with didn't do any drugs harder than weed. But who knows, peeps I knew may have being doing lines behind bathroom stalls. Again, its a personal thing that you can choose to do on your own.
There are a number of co-morbid psychiatric disorders whereby persons self-medicate. Some don't do it from peer pressure per se as much as they believe it will remove them from painful thoughts or give them a new set of feelings (even for a brief period of time). And as mentioned, yes, there are a handful of persons for whom drugs are the worst thing in the world - consuming once has them hooked, then they are spinning around the ceramic bowl from that point on. But many, many more can consume without detrimental effects, quit on their own, and not look back. Having said that, it doesn't make sense (beating the odds) to find out if you are one of the ones for whom consumption means a life of addiction or a pleasant memory of the past. Too many consumables, legal and illegal, have deleterious effects over the long-term, and most persons don't know when to stop or what that threshold is. Truth be told, it varies for all, and again, why try to beat the odds?
cant realy comment on peer pressure because honestly, i never fell into the little peer pressure i was exposed to...i have never had any interest in drinking to excess (i was exposed to responsible drinking from very early on, and exposed to alcoholism very early on too)
the thought of doing any kind of drug just never even spiked a curiosity and the fact that being around smokers makes me physically ill definatly helped keep me away form the cigs.
and in my teen and even now in my adult years i get the occasional person who tries to tell me if i tried it id like it...or try and make me feel silly because i havent tried things like pot and cigs...
but even then not even a tiny part of me wonders...and i have little interest in what people think of me overall...
it just flat out doesnt appeal to me and i dont understand the attraction.
but i did want to comment on a differnt kind of pressure...what about parental pressure playing a part?
ive known many kids that are pushed so hard by their parents to be perfect, that when they get even a hint of freedom they go nuts often with alcohol or drugs often times saying its the only way they can "escape" the emotional pressure they get from their parents.
i dont think pressure of any kind is 100% responsible...
i do think it often plays a part, but as thursday pointed out...
i had 2 aunts that were alcoholics...(it actually killed them both)
aunt #1 had 3 kids, of the kids 2 of them are heavy drinkers even in their early 20s, and the 3rd is close, the 3rd was rasied by her completly none drinking father from 7 yrs old.
aunt #2 had 1 kid, hes an alcoholic (was rasied by his father who is also a none drinker)
and of aunt # 1's 3 kids, one had a child whos 9 now and raised in limited alcohol home (adopted at birth) and hes now started sneakign sips...
so 2 of these kids wernt raised around drinkers yet there all still drawn to the drink.
so i definatly think genetics somewhere and a tendency towards having an addictive personality also plays a huge part in the whole thing.
Insofar as a teen experimenting with drugs or alcohol, sure, peer pressure can certainly be a significant factor. But when we start talking about continued abuse and/or longterm addiction, I don't think we can balme peer pressure anymore. At that point, the physilogical response rears its head and the person becomes physically dependent, i.e. an addict or alcoholic.
In my opinion, this addiction can be the cause of a genetic pre-disposition, as when one or both of their parents or even grandparents passsed-on the genetic marker to them. But also, I think that even in the case of a person with no genetic pre-disposition, the body's cellular machinery can be altered through continued drugging or drinking so it then craves the substance. Cell shapes can actually be changed and re-configured so that they need it. At this point, the addicted person posesses the same physiology as a person born with the genetic pre-disposition.
I myself am a recovering alcoholic with a bit over 6.5 years of sobriety. Neither my Dad or Mom were alcoholics, but very soon after my first drink of alcohol at age 16, I developed into, first, a weekend binge drinker, then a "problem drinker" and then finally, by, oh, I'd say in my late-20s, a full-blown alcoholic. And I know from experience that after I developed into an alcoholic, my body simply reacted to alcohol differently from that of a normal person. There's and old saying that a normal person drinks so as to go from a "1 to a 10" on a scale of enjoyment and loose inhibitions. the "1" being a normal state of mind. An alcoholic, on the other hand, drinks so as to go from a minus-10 to a 1; or rather, to a state he/she feels to be normal.
This adage fit my alcoholism perfectly. Why? Well, as they say in AA: only God knows--and He ain't telling.
Continued abuse of alcohol and drugs may be more about self-medication, some kind of emotional pain.
I've come to the conclusion that alcohol does something for some people that it doesn't do for others. Just like a box of doughnuts might seem comforting to some but not to others.
Whenever I've drank and even when I had one too many, I never felt more popular, more interesting, funnier, nor did my friends seem more fun and it never seemed that my problems went away but I think for some people, there is something the alcohol gives them - relief of some kind or they feel enhanced by it, social events seem more fun or something.
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