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Doesn't matter...what does matter is that we're both very interested in music, in general. But my boyfriend is a classically trained pianist whose genre of choice is jazz. I entered the relationship minimally versed on jazz, apart from jazz vocalists (he's into instrumentalists, pianists in particular). I'm a choral singer who typically sings in formal, 80-100 person chorales that are heavily slanted toward classical masterworks. Not his area of musical expertise. But I've acquainted myself with Bill Evans, John Coltrane, and McCoy Tyner, and he's in the audience at my choral concerts with bells on. We both have other musical loves, as well. He's got a serious Donald Fagen/Steely Dan jones, and is pretty addicted to various 70s classic rock that his dad exposed him to as a kid. I was raised by folkies, and retain a sentimental spot for John Denver and Joni Mitchell and Simon and Garfunkel. I'm also a big Celtic traditional music person, and we both are huge U2 fans. It's an eclectic household, and an incredibly large and far-reaching music library, all told.
So, no, our music tastes don't have to be compatible. But neither of us could imagine being with a nonmusician, or with somebody who doesn't have music as a big part of their life.
I will tell you this...there is just nothing that compares to living with a guy who plays piano...melt.
I think this is incredibly important. I often mention this to my students who are engaged and asking, "what makes a successful marriage?" I can't imagine living with a man who blared rap all day and who hated the Beatles. In fact, for me, having similar (or identical) taste in music is of paramount importance. I wouldn't marry a man who didn't like the music I like or told me to turn it off. I'm serious.
Interesting question. When I was a teenager (13-15) this mattered SO MUCH to me and it's probably the reason why I didn't lose my virginity sooner, when I had SO MANY chances (not to brag). However, at the time I was looking for a "soul mate" and fantasized of having exclusivity with a girl and I was BEYOND picky and particular of a girl I wanted. So I used to write off 90% of the women because non of them liked electronic music and it irked because I wanted to be with a girl who could appreciate it it too. Now, that I am an adult, I learned it really doesn't matter to me as much as long as she can at least be open minded to me listening to musical acts like Carbon Based Lifeforms, Aphex Twins, Enigma, Junkie XL, DJ Tiesto and or something like Arabic music without having to be weird out by it or embarrassed. As long as she can appreciate what I listen to.
Plus, my musical ear is VERY, VERY eclectic, so much so that you'd be surprised by what I listen to if you saw me in person. That's besides the point though. As cliche as it sounds, I can listen to anything as long as my ears or liking the tunes.
OP here, I see a lot of good input. Despite me being a hobbyist dj I also play the violin and viola. I've only met one female in which I was musically in tune with and it was the best relationship I've ever had.
My genres of choice are house (deep/slow house), nu disco/space disco, acid jazz, very little underground hip hop, Ethnic (Soukous, Armenian, Makossa and many African genres), reggae and soft rock. Basically nothing too aggressive and overall relaxing with a good amount of abstractness. Gotta love Hendricks and I'm obsessed with psychedelic rock from the 60's and 70's.
I absolutely cannot tolerate hardcore rap, loud rock music and whiny country music.
Last edited by ayahuasca_mike; 12-27-2010 at 11:37 PM..
As a guitar player musical compatibility is pretty important to me. I'd have a hard time dating someone who's closed minded about music or forced their music on me if all they listened to was top 40 or country.
I'm not into a large amount of genres outside of rock and metal (and their respective subgenres, and even then there are some I don't like) but I can tolerate listening to music that I wouldn't listen to on my own (mainly pop, top 40 stuff).
Just a question, does it really matter to you. I find it extremely difficult to date a female who does not share somewhat similar taste in music as I. It sounds trivial but I can't help it. I play my records and music loudly almost every evening when I get off, in the car (windows up, I don't like to annoy others) and at home. I've totally written off females in the past because they enjoy country music, hardcore rap, gospel, etc......
BTW I do dj as just a hobby.
There was just a thread about this recently in the music forum. My views are this, I dont care what music she listens too as long as it is not a part of her culture/life and/or tries to live that way. For example, if she likes country music (which I hate more than any other music in the history of the world) I dont mind, but if she wants to walk around wearing jeans, boots and cowboy hat then she would be dumped big time. Same if she was a hip hop fan (of which 97% of the music I think is terrible) I wouldnt mind unless she walked around wearing the style and talking all that "yo yo yo" nonsense.
Bottom line is, most people have varied tastes in music - I like alternative, rock, blues, some choice hip hop, classical and varied jazz. If someone else is this way then fine, but its the people who are like "I ONLY like Rock and hate everything else" are the weirdos.
I used to only date people who already liked the type of music I did. Would instantly write off anyone who liked country. What I've found is its much more fun to date someone who might not have the exact same tastes as you but to introduce them to your passion. I'm into indie/punk and attend a lot of concerts. My current bf gave me compelte control over his ipod and he's learning all of the bands I love. As well as attending concerts with me all the time. Its way more fun this way.
I wish my wife enjoyed loud, loud music (she does not like bass or loud music), but that's something I can do by myself in the car.
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